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Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

VOTE!!



Tuesday, Novemner 4, 2008. Just fucken do it!!

THIS was the best thing I read today... enjoy it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Happy Halloween- HNT

I am not a big fan of Halloween. I haven't been since I was about 13 or 14 and Carrie forced me to go out trick or treating. Seriously- we were way to old for it. I dressed up and went with them, but I did not go to door. No, no no. The 4 of us went as Smurfs, by the way. I don't have THAT picture but I know it's somewhere.

We take the kids trick or treating now, usually to the local mall cause it's safer and they run out of steam pretty quickly. Alex doesn't get to a costume this year cause a) I think he's too old and b) his grades suck and c) he got suspended for fighting last week. So yeah, no candy for you, ya little delinquent!!

I did find this picture though. I was 7 years old. My mother made this costume, and yes- I won awards. My mom made the rockin-est costumes and I was fucking cute!!!

And I know I'm not Half Nekkid, but you know- if you wanna click underneath, there's a picture of the costume I WOULD wear, you know, it I did that kind of thing...




It's funny how Halloween is always a good excuse for girls to just get slutty!!!
I don't really NEED a costume for that.

Happy HNT!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Obama Rally in Ft. Collins



My Bestest Friend Ed and his fam went to see Obama speaking in Fort collins, CO on Sunday with 50,000 other people. He wrote up his account for someone else's blog but I am stealing it. Very exciting, the first thing he said to me was, "Wow what an amazing speaker and I only heard half of it!"


It's long, he's kind of a talker... but I'm still jealous...

----
Yesterday (Sunday Oct 26), Democratic candidate for president Barack Obama spoke at two rallies in the Denver area - one in front of the capitol building in Denver (reports say that well over 100,000 people showed up for the morning rally in Denver!), and another one in Fort Collins on the CSU campus (nearly 50,000 people!). My family and I decided to go to Fort Collins for the 3:30pm speech. We knew there'd be a lot of people, since the University claimed to expect over 20,000 prior to the event. So we planned to head up there early!

We did not plan well enough! Confusion over the time caused some problems (anybody else notice their VCR's 'fell back' an hour Saturday night?), and a sudden and quite heavy bloody nose brought our expedition to a sudden detour (Natalie is prone to them, but this one was shocking -- double handful of bloody tissues, anyone?). Sometimes I think my lovely wife single-handedly keeps the tissue and moisturizer industries in business.

Fort Collins is about an hour North of our home in Thornton, and then another twenty minutes West to our initial destination. After a quick stop in Erie to pick up our mothers and speeding through lunch followed by the uber-nosebleed, Katie, Natalie, Laura, mom and I finally arrived at the South end of the bus route serving the event. Front Range Community College, where buses were queued up to take passengers to CSU campus. The parking lot at FRCC was surprisingly not remotely full. We began to think that we were in for a break since OBVIOUSLY the city of Fort Collins wasn't overwhelmed with visitors!

Not so. We rode our bus North on College Ave. into the heart of campus (see A on my map of the East half of campus for where we got off the bus). We walked through the tunnel under College Ave as directed by our bus driver. This turned out to be a time-waster, as we ended up doubling back to College Ave. to find the end of the line (see B on map)... Quite the line, too! We were about 4 abreast, and the line ran as far as I could see down Pitkin Street. Random people would pass by from time to time grumbling about how far they'd walked to find the end of the line. One grumpy gal declared loudly "Give up, there's no way you're getting in!" Others said things like "They're cutting it off at 20,000 people and they were already to 15,000 an hour ago!" and "It's already 3:15, and you have thousands of people ahead of you. Go home." and "How long have we been in line? Seems like 3 days." Things were moving slowly because, at the entrance to The Oval, security was frisking and/or searching every person.

Yes, it looked pretty grim. It was nearly 3:30 and the line stretched out ahead of us interminably. We thought about giving up, but held fast! The decision point came a few minutes later (See C on map). We came to a fork, at which point we could see the line we'd been following, on the other side of a gap 30 yards ahead of us; and we could see all the people immediately in front of us heading off quickly to the right - toward The Oval where the event was scheduled to begin right then. Why did the line split? Where were these people going? A small knot of campaign volunteers were standing there telling us that we were to go thataway - toward The Oval. "I don't know what's going on, but go that way." Very reassuring words! Perhaps we were being led back to the bus stop?

I'm kind of a law-and-order guy. I don't take cuts. I had a short-term hard time deciding whether to follow the crowd or get back into the same line we'd been in for so long. We decided as a group to go right, and see what happened. Heck, we were already late and our line hadn't been moving very quickly. Why not?! So we hustled and followed the new route directly into the heart of campus.

Things got a little ugly when our short cut brought us into contact with The Line we'd gotten out of. We'd bypassed a significant chunk of The Line and were re-merging with The Line (see D on map). None of us realized at this point that all order had broken down at the gates to The Oval... ;-) So, a woman was standing apart from The Line, hollering at all of us (several hundred of whom had already merged into The Line) "Who are you people!? You can't cut in here!" She was all serious and indignant. I felt sorry for her, on one level, because haven't we all felt that emotion? But part of me also laughed, inside, at the absurdity of her standing there trying to hold off hundreds more line-crashers. Brave, foolish person. Tsk tsk.

Undaunted, our sizeable force invaded The Line (which was at this point about 15 people abreast). But The Line was fracturing anyway. Packs of people broke off and headed to The Oval via other routes. It was very chaotic and lots of people pushing and shoving. I held tight to Katie's hand - she's 5 years old - and I was concerned she might get scared in the crush of people. But she was actually very brave the whole time. We kept getting separated from the moms, Natalie had Katie some of the time, I did some of the time. But happily, it never devolved into fighting or people-stomping. It was as peaceful as a mob could be!


Around us, people had their cell phones out; friends inside The Oval were relaying the speech to people in line. I heard part of the speech that way: "We are the United States of America. We are a nation that's faced down war and depression; great challenges and great threats. And at each and every moment, we have risen to meet these challenges – not as Democrats, not as Republicans, but as Americans. With resolve. With confidence. With that fundamental belief that here in America, our destiny is not written for us, but by us. That's who we are, and that's the country we need to be right now."

At this point, we spotted our first McCain/Palin supporters. They were wandering around with those ironic "Country First" signs that always give me a giggle. Poor suckers. Our mob managed to spurt out a few yells and jeers which came across kind of nasty considering the vast outnumbering going on. Later I spotted some folks wielding pink 'Obama the communist' signs and sporting red hammer & sickle motif signs. Little packs of pot-stirrers in a sea of excited, amped up Obama supporters. You wouldn't catch me doing something similar!

As The Line headed North on West Drive, picking up speed, it started to feel eerily like the scene in Lord of the Rings where the orcs start pouring through the walls of Helm's Deep. A handful of campaign volunteers stood behind trash bins and barked "Don't run! Walk please!" (I somehow resisted the urge to smite them with my orcish sword.) Obama signs of the sort that get waved during speeches were scattered in the street, their paper-tube handles crushed by dirty shoe-prints. I saw a clipboard with volunteer registration forms laying among litter. Everywhere the signs of a crowd-control struggle gone wrong. (It appears, actually, that once Obama started his speech and The Oval was near full, security simply decided to let people in without searching them.)

We could hear the crowd cheering and snippets of Obama's speech coming from ahead of us. "...stop giving tax breaks to companies that ship jobs overseas and invest in companies that create good jobs right here in Colorado." It sounds so powerful in person, compared to the flat, over-rehearsed sound you get when watching him speak on TV. Live, it was fiery, urgent, and more inspiring. "...I won't let banks and lenders off the hook when it was their greed and irresponsibility that got us into this mess." Soon, encouraged by the amplified voice and amplified crowd, we were approaching the line of easy-ups that served as the security checkpoint (see E on map). The white canopies stood unoccupied by any official presence now, while literally thousands of people streamed through them. The Oval itself was sectioned off into multiple 'pens'. We all poured into a pen on the SouthWest sixth of The Oval.

"There's been a lot of talk about taxes in this campaign. And the truth is, my opponent and I are both proposing tax cuts. The difference is, he wants to give a $700,000 tax cut to the average Fortune 500 CEO. I want to put a middle class tax cut in the pockets of 95% of workers and their families. My opponent doesn't want you to know this, but under my plan, tax rates will actually be less than they were under Ronald Reagan."




"If I am President, I will invest $15 billion a year in renewable sources of energy to create five million new, green jobs over the next decade – jobs that pay well and can't be outsourced; jobs building solar panels and wind turbines and fuel-efficient cars; jobs that will help us end our dependence on oil from Middle East dictators."
At the opposite end of the great open space, filled with giant oaks all sporting their autumn red and gold and orange, was a rank of bleachers surmounted by a giant "CHANGE" banner (see F on map). Beneath and in front of the banner was a small stage with a lone podium. At the podium stood Barack, in his black jacket and white shirt (no tie - the FOX people like to line up this look in comparison to the way Ahmedinijad tends to dress). The crowd was massive. Since I'm just over six feet tall, I was able to see over the top of many people's heads and actually spot Obama across the crowds. My wife and our moms could not see him at all. Katie put her hands to her ears, because the noise of the crowd and the blaring loudspeakers assaulted her, but she was excited to be there and I put her on my shoulders. I don't think she actually saw the candidate, though. She's too unfamiliar with crowds to know how to orient in one. You have to know what to look for at that kind of distance. Where are the people out there looking? Where are the lights pointed? Where are the cameras pointed? What positioning of the stage would position Obama properly for photos?

"And if I'm President, we'll give every child, everywhere the skills and the knowledge they need to compete with any worker, anywhere in the world. I will not allow countries to out-teach us today so they can out-compete us tomorrow. It is time to provide every American with a world-class education. That means investing in early childhood education. That means recruiting an army of new teachers, and paying them better, and giving them more support in exchange for higher standards and more accountability."



There was a nice couple beside me; the man lifted his wife up so she could see over people's heads. She was holding binoculars, but it took her a couple of minutes to find Obama across The Oval. But she did finally spot him, and she grinned so wide! She whooped and raised an arm triumphantly. The assembled thousands roared after each statement, each proposal. Roars of approval, not roars of hatred or fear.

"There are no real or fake parts of this country. We are not separated by the pro-America and anti-America parts of this nation – we all love this country, no matter where we live or where we come from. There are patriots who supported this war in Iraq and patriots who opposed it; patriots who believe in Democratic policies and those who believe in Republican policies. The men and women from Colorado and all across America who serve on our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America – they have served the United States of America."

Fifteen minutes went by so quickly; soon he was thanking the crowd, saying "...if you stand with me in nine days, I promise you – we will win Colorado, we will win this election, and then you and I – together – will change this country and change this world. Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America." And then the music fired up:

Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong
Oo, baby, here I am, signed,
sealed, delivered, I'm yours!

Then that time I went and said goodbye
Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry
Oo, baby, here I am, signed,
sealed, delivered, I'm yours!

Here I am baby
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm yours
...


Katie was glad when the crowd dispersed and she could run around. People all around us were happy and not grumpy about the crowding. Those of us with cameras showed our photos around, which was nice since so many people in our part of The Oval hadn't been able to see Obama over the heads of the crowd. We spotted about a dozen SWAT officers, well armed and in black body armor. On the way back to the bus, we saw another half-dozen McCain supporters protesting Obama. No catcalls this time, as far as I could see. We left inspired and optimistic.

It's pretty cool to live in a Battleground State. Everyone should give it a try some time!


[Thanks to 'www.RealClearPolitics.com' for making the transcript of the speech available. If you want to read the whole thing, check it out here: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/10/obamas_rallies_enormous_crowd.html ]

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Would you like to hear the specials?

Someone asked me:

"So wait.  You are ok with being tied up but you are afraid of the dentist??"

Well, I have no logic for that.  I never said my thought process made sense.  'Tied up' is kinda awesome and I am handy with the rope,  I find.  Also whatever is going in my mouth while tied is not sharp, so there's that.

So hey- I am super stoked that this last week I sold a dildo to someone who has NEVER played with one before.  She may be over 50 (just cause of how long she's been married) and ever since she brought it up to her husband, he's been really excited that she buy something and now he's all excited about when it comes in.  See, it's stuff like THAT that makes me feel like I'm not just a dildo slut.  I'm HELPING people.  

Sex is natural, and sex toys are not abnormal or anything to be afraid of or embarassed about.  So I get questions? 
What's the best one?
What's your favorite?

Well my favorite, is the Hitachi.  Now some people have said that something that cranks out 6000 rpms is gonna mess up my stuff.  Make it so that is the only thing that gets me off, and blah blah blah.  Well, that is not true for me, but if it was... well, so what!


The upside of the Hitachi is that plugs in so you don't need batteries.  The downside is that messes up the reception on the TV.  Really.  Do NOT pay more than $55 for this (excluding tax and shipping)  I have seen it online for up to $75.  While it's worth every penny... well, it shouldn't be more than that.  And sometimes you can find it for less.  The other good good thing about this is that if someone comes across it, you know, like your kid- it really is a muscle massager.  Like a friend with benefits.  score.

As far as the BEST toy, that depends on you.  It depends on what you are looking for.  It depends on your comfort and experience level.

Beginner<---------Vanilla---------Experimental-----A Litte Freaky------>Hardcore

It depends on if you want internal or external stimulation.  It depends on if you are concerned about materials (jelly, silicone, glass, metal).  It depends on your body (I know a girl who claims to have a clit-o-steel)  It depends on your wallet.  

If you have questions, email me.  Don't be embarassed cause really- there's nothing to be embarassed about. Guys, you wanna buy something for your girl, or yourself but don't know where to start, well maybe I can help with some suggetions.  I don't even care if you buy it from somewhere else, although I am available to sell you just about anything.  We are responsible for our own pleasure.  

We eat when we are hungry right?  Let me be your waitress.  



Wednesday, October 22, 2008

#47 reason to own a laptop

















This is what a girl watching internet porn while her husband is sitting on the couch looks like. Totally unassuming.

Happy HNT.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Instead? Instead of what??

I think I have found the best thing to happen to my period since pregnancy.


INSTEAD of wearing the wings.
INSTEAD
of shoving a wad of cotton up my twat.
INSTEAD of leaking on my panties.



It goes in like a diaphragm, sits up against your cervix. It doesn't attempt to absorb, which I know I have talked about before and it just doesn't work. These work. For a LONG time. I don't have a heavy flow and I can wear it for 10 hours. Not a drop.

--
The changing of the cup is sorta like surgery without the scalpel. Here's what I go in with:

The cup
Two disposable gloves
A peri bottle of water
Some lube

(the last three are not required, but I suggest it).

Put on one glove, reach in to the vag with one finger- bear down a little bit so the ring slides forward pull out- and empty it into the toilet. I use the peri bottle and rinse the ring off a bit and then use the rest of the water to rinse myself off. Turn the glove inside out with the ring inside. My attempt here is so as not to LOOK at it. You don't have to rinse it off either, but I just prefer it.

Dispose of the glove with ring inside it.

Clean up.

Put on another glove. Put a small squirt of lube on my gloved fingers and then lube the outside of the new ring. Stand, foot on the toilet seat. Make the Figure 8 with the ring push in into vag until it rests behind my pelvic bone. Dispose of glove.
--


yeah, it's a bit of a process- but it only takes 5 minutes. and then I don't have to do it again for TEN FUCKING HOURS!!! If you have a heavier flow then you'd do it more often. Even on my heavy days, it's not that heavy.

So there weird part is this:

SEEING the blood. I am not used to actually looking at that much blood in the toilet. The first time, I admit I got a little queasy. But really it's not THAT much. (I read that you really only loose about a cup of blood over the entire course of your period. And I doubt I lose that much, so really, it's probably less than an ounce.)

Grossed out yet?

Well, like it said- it was weird the first time. But now I'm on day three of my period. Clean panties and I'm happy. It leaks a little bit when you are using the toilet, but it's ok THEN. I hear you can have sex with it in too, just put in a fresh one so in case it does spill there will be very little. Super score.

They also make the Diva Cup, which is reusable and the Moon Cup, also reusable. And a sponge. Seriously. A SPONGE!!! I want to try this too.

If you have tried any of these- share with the class. Please.


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oh my God Becky....





I'm watching the debate and Twittering it with my friends. My favorite twitter:

"Oh my God I want to vote the shit out of Obama!!"

Are you registered yet by the way?? Less than three weeks!!

Alex wants me to vote for Obama. He thinks that John McCain is a bully.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Banana Crack Pudding

Tonight I made the Banana Crack Pudding that my new SIL brought to the family dinner last month. I made it with Vanilla Wafers instead of the Chessman Cookies, but the magic is not in the cookies, it's in the cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk and coolwhip. There isn't even any banana in the actual pudding. It's the Banana Crack Pudding and I have just had one hit, and I'm already wanting more.

So here's the link to the recipe. It's so easy, even I could make it!! If you make it, let me know you loved it so I am not alone in the dark, taking spoonfuls when nobody is watching.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Debtors Prison

It's early. I woke up at 4AM from this dream that all of my money was gone from my checking account! GONE. Now there is not a HUGE amount in there- but there is more than usual. It's not all already spent, but some of it is. I got up and checked, and it's all still there. Nothing weird, shocking or spectacular.

I budget my money in a weird way. I do it in excel. I have a spreadsheet and I have a box for each week of the month, the balance, what comes in, what goes out and what's left. I start a new row of boxes each month and I usually do two of three months at a time. It's always a working spreadsheet, $200 I spend in February will show me that I am going to be short on the rent in April. The spreadsheet doesn't take in to account for food or gas, but it's always sort of on my mind. At the beginning of each month, I often leave the format and adjust the balance because there is money spent that I can't account for, didn't budget for, or simply didn't pay attention to.

So no, it's not REALLY a budget. You can't budget when you don't really HAVE it- but it's a guideline and a snapshot of what's to come. I am the only one who MAKES money, but not the only one who spends it. I admit that I keep a pretty tight grip over the account and at any given time, he has no idea what is in the account. However, it's common knowledge that while I make more than our bills, it's not MUCH more so the question of whether or not I can afford something, the answer really should ALWAYS be "No."

I do not have the mentality of "Work Hard, play harder." I am more like, "Work and maybe we'll get lucky." How does an underpaid person manage a household of 5 people? Not very well. My student loan totals are high. My credit sucks. I have about $3000 in credit card bills (three different companies) in default that I flat our ignore. I simply don't have the money to send them. Period. The bills that manage my monthly household get my attention. The rest, well they can suck a fat one. They spend all sorts of time sending me bills and threatening letters that I don't even open anymore. Every few months I get letters from different companies because the debt has been sold off. The original amounts was only about $1500 total. The original debtor charged off the debt years ago, and this new company is not trying to collect from me. When I filed for BK back in 2000 (I think), I was told that if they try to take me to court and get a judgment, showing them my income and my bills will pretty much negate them from taking 25% of my income and often these little collection firms will not go to the trouble for such small amounts. So I don't worry, and perhaps after I get my tax refund, I can pay it off for half of the balance and they will leave me alone. The offices of blah blah blah and so and so look very official, but it's not exactly a law firm. Law firms use UPS and have bigger fish to fry than me.

Those are not the bills that I worry about. I worry about the grocery bill, and the electric bill. I worry about Michael medical expenses. I worry about getting sick. I have been on a diet for a few weeks now. I think I'm losing weight but I don't know. I'm eating better. I am trying to take care of my blood pressure, because if I get sick, my family is screwed.

My father and a few others in his family died early from heart disease. Early, like before 50- early. I'm going to be 37 this year. I realize that it was a mistake getting those three credit cards, but I refuse to allow them to be the death of me. I have told them all, at least once that I am not going to send my last $50 to them this month, because as soon as I agree, they will be asking about my NEXT $50. It's just the way it is, and I know I'm not alone.

I have made some financial mistakes, but in the grand scheme, I have done the best I could. I've been the only income for four years now. I borrowed a lot, I've been given a lot, and we've been fortunate to have understand and forgiving people around us. Others are not so lucky.

My hope is that someday I will make enough so that the balance at the end of every week is positive. That I don't have to pay this months cable bill next month, pushing next months electric bill back to the NEXT month and then having to pay that months cell phone bill the FOLLOWING month, pushing back the cable bill again. That is how it happens. The bills get exponentially bigger- and then all of the bills are three months behind. (Which is what happened LAST month)

I don't need collection agencies to put me debtors prison. I've got one, thanks.

If you make it to the end of my little sob story rant, thanks. You'll be glad to know that as of right now. Everything is current. :)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

This side of my little world

Last night I confessed to Mike that during his good days, I actually am enjoying spending time with him. He still has his episodes, usually twice a month and I can deal with that, it's just par for the course. But it used to be, that during his good days, I still didn't like being around him. I've been globally unhappy and we've been playing nice for quite a while, staying mostly to our neutral corners, but occasionally coming out fighting and hobbling back, injured, bleeding and wondering why we bother staying in the ring.

But lately, I guess the last two months- when he's feeling ok- things have been alright between us. We get along. We spend some time together. We interact, we talk we laugh. We even have the occasional sex.

I am not going to say that it's all better, cause it's not. And I'm not going to claim that this is going to last, because it never does. But this little side of my world can use a little less stress on the home front, and lately I have been enjoying it.

He is not THRILLED about my new second job. "Sex toy peddler extraordinaire." However, I have promised not to let it take me away from home too often. No more than three parties a month, and I can try to get him involved. He can help me sort orders, marketing, whatever. I will figure it out. I'm going to push and peddle it here and maybe have a sex toy of the week or something. Be prepared. Feel free to buy. I won't tell anyone and I won't judge you and if you are in my neighborhood, let me know if you'd like to have a party. Check out the catalog, and feel free to ask me any questions.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Double Ended HNT

So I got my starter kit for the Temptation Parties. That's what this is all about...



This is the 18" Double Ended Dildo. Not bad for $20. You don't HAVE to, you know, use both ends... but you know- why not?

Have a great Half Nekkid Thursday!!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

beyond the body




Sometimes I absolutely abhor my body. I hate the way I have "let myself go" so to speak. It didn't happen over night- this is a body that is years in the making. I'm carrying baby weight- how old is my baby? ummmm.... 13.

The last time I was the size that I am now- I was carrying a child. And actually I'm a pound heavier. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and just think, what the hell happened to me? I used to be thin, I used to be pretty, and sexy and confident! Now- well.. I'm just fat.

But then I think, maybe I'm not the prettiest girl in every room, but I think I look ok. I am still sexy, and I am still confident. I show off my body- I talk about sex- I am not exactly a wallflower. I don't hide behind my keyboard anymore. I'm learning that not all men are interested in the shell.

I'm smart and I'm funny. I work. I support my family. I have good friends and I do my best to take care of my children and my husband.

I'm not JUST FAT.

I have a love hate relationship with my body and I admit that I'm afraid that losing weight will mean my ass and tits will lose their big and plumpness. But I'm not JUST FAT. I think for all the progress women have made, sometimes we still buy in to the idea that we have to be perfect all around- and who is perfect?

Who is this picture perfect woman who has a rockin' body, a great job with a good salary, perfect children and no emotional hang-up about her mother, can cook, clean and give blowjobs in between making finger sandwiches for her husbands poker parties and cutting out construction paper houses for her kids classroom. Who is this broad?

Cause we need to find her and kick her ass.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Are you registered??



repost, reblog... send it on.

registration deadlines

Alabama Fri, Oct. 24
Alaska Sun, Oct. 5 (postmark by Sat, Oct. 4)
Arizona Mon, Oct. 6
Arkansas Mon, Oct. 6
California Mon, Oct. 20
Colorado Mon, Oct. 6
Connecticut Tues, Oct. 21
Delaware Sat, Oct. 11
District of Columbia Mon, Oct. 6
Florida Mon, Oct. 6
Georgia Mon, Oct. 6
Hawaii Mon, Oct. 6
Idaho Register at Polls
Illinois Tues, Oct. 7
Indiana Mon, Oct. 6
Iowa Fri, Oct. 24 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Kansas Mon, Oct. 20
Kentucky Mon, Oct. 6
Louisiana Mon, Oct. 6
Maine Tue, Oct. 21 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Maryland Tue, Oct. 14
Massachusetts Wed, Oct. 15
Michigan Mon, Oct. 6
Minnesota Same Day Registration at polling place
Mississippi Mon, Oct. 6
Missouri Wed, Oct. 8
Montana Mon, Oct. 6 (or same day at elections office)
Nebraska Fri, Oct. 24 (mail by Fri, Oct. 17)
Nevada Tue, Oct. 4 (or in person until Oct. 14)
New Hampshire Same Day
New Jersey Tues, Oct. 14
New Mexico Tues, Oct. 7
New York Fri, Oct. 10
North Carolina Fri, Oct. 10
North Dakota N/A
Ohio Mon, Oct. 6
Oklahoma Fri, Oct. 10
Oregon Tue, Oct. 14
Pennsylvania Mon, Oct. 6
Rhode Island Sat, Oct. 4
South Carolina Sat, Oct. 4
South Dakota Mon, Oct. 20
Tennessee Mon, Oct. 6
Texas Mon, Oct. 6
Utah Mon, Oct. 6 or in person Tue, Oct. 28
Vermont Wed, Oct. 29
Virginia Mon, Oct. 6
Washington Sat, Oct. 4 (or until Mon, Oct. 20 in person)
West Virginia Wed, Oct. 15
Wisconsin Wed, Oct. 15 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Wyoming Can register at polls


You have to register.
You have to vote!!

Dear Garbonzo, (meme)

Stolen from Golf Widow.


Dear Garbonzo,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your sister. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok in your apartment and I saw you sit on my best friend. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that I did a sex change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I always have felt dirty before a new life as a clone.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,

Julie

---
It's pretty self-explanatory if you decide you want to do it. If you decide you don't want to do it, the meme monsters will not eat you, I promise.

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but 1 . I think I realized it 2 3 and I saw you 4 5 . I'm sure you're 6 enough to understand 7 . I'm returning 8 to you, but I'll keep 9 as a memory. You should also know that I 10 11 .

12 ,

(your name)

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
the news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Half Nekkid Thursdays- I'm all lips and hair.

Ok that SOUNDS way dirtier than it really is. My hair is ALMOST long enough to do that thing where it covers my breasts and I can walk around on a nude beach and have my breasts covered.. almost. And I probably would not walk around on a nude beach anyway. It just isn't ME to do that... well, not totally nude anyway.




So I've gotten some emails from old high school friends and since I upload this to my facebook account, some of them are peeking in and reading my blog here. While I first thought to sensor myself, I have recieved about three emails from people who have said they like my blog, that they relate to my issues, that they think I'm kinda funny and sorta brave for being so 'out there.' I know, the don't know the half of it right? Anyway- so I'm not gonna sensor myself, because I have realized, that while many of us were very different when we were in our individual high school bubbles, we're really not that different now, 20 years later. We all have hang ups about our bodies, our husbands, our kids, our mothers, our asses. It just happens and we are not so different anymore.

Finally.

And while I'm still the trampy one with her bra strap hanging off her shoulder- the other girls don't look at me the way they used to, or at least they way I thought they did.

Thanks girls... I appreciate your sentiments more than you know.

the end of the summer pics

Mostly Danny... Mike will hate that I posted these- but he doesn't read this blog anyway. He looks pretty good here- not so thin. The facebook folk may not recognize him cause he's about 80 pounds lighter than you remember him to be.