Open, not over.

So this week I thought to disclose my 'relatonship status' to my family. Come out with it to the few that don't know. My parents, really. Hey mom and dad, guess what I'm dating.

Chances are my mother thinks I'm engaging in elicit affairs with strangers anyway- so maybe she will be somewhat relieved to know that there is actually just ONE person. Who knows really. I expect the worst and the only reason I am even considering coming out with it, is that he's a part of my life and around my family. So I'd rather be the one to tell them, than have my 8 year old do it- and then have him unfairly pressed for information.

The husband and I have talked about the situation at great length. He and the TheBoyfriend get along pretty well. My sons like him. The husband and I are calm about the situation as if there is nothing wrong with it, and in turn, the kids don't see anything wrong with it. If anyone is going to have an issue, it would be the husband. If he's ok with it, then really, I don't know that it is anyone else's place to take issue. And really if they want to, they can.

I pretty much know that there is a lot of talk about me behind my back in my family circle. It's ok, I love them just the same. Judge me all you want, I make a perfect target and after this many years, I'm ok with that. The fact that they are nice to me to my face, doesn't make me love them any less. Really, I just don't care anymore. To be honest, I'd rather they keep their opinions of me to themselves, because I don't really have the energy to try to change their minds. And who knows, maybe they are right. I guess I'm ok with that too.

In general, I'm not I'm a horrible person who does horrible things to people. I might engage in some things people don't agree with- but that's my business. I'm not hurting anyone. My kids are not running around the streets or engaging in behavior that would make anyone think that they are 'acting out'. Ok, so maybe I'm defending myself now, but it's my blog- I can do what I want here. So I go out a few times a week. I think I'm entitled to enjoy my life a little bit and it is not to any else's detriment that I do so.

So as I'm preparing myself to simply say, "Mom, Dad.... I'm dating." I'm, of course, wondering what the backlash will be. Will she call my sister? Who will say, yeah- I know. Will she call my brother? Who will say, "Oh yeah- I heard." Will she tell me that she is so against my adulterous lifestyle that she no longer wants to engage with me and my children? Doubtful. The worst that will happen is that she will no longer agree to babysit for me to do anything social- which really I don't ask her to do anyway. I'm not looking for her approval, I just want them to have a heads up. I'm almost 40. It's time my parents know that I'm NOT at the movies.

No, I'm a grown ass woman making grown ass decisions about my grown ass life. I'm not ashamed.

Everyone knows why my marriage is 'open' instead of 'over'.

It's ok if you don't agree. I sleep just fine, and I look myself in the mirror just fine.

I am living my life with as few regrets as possible and why would anyone want anything different for me or anyone else.

May flowers.

As May comes to an end, I'm reminded of change. I'm reminded of progress.

Alot has changed his January. I'm in a new relationship with a man who is MADE of awesomeness. He is everything I need in my life, and nothing that I don't want. You know that ridiculous line from Jerry McGuire- that... You.Complete.Me.

Ok, I won't go there. I can't. but yeah, it's like that. And here, I'll give you all the dirty details. He's younger than me. by about 12 years. He's 27 years old and he absolutely fits my spaces. I adore him and I'm the happiest I've been in a while.

So this weekend, Daddy (yes I call the younger guy, Daddy) spent the weekend at the house with me and the family. Yes- me, the husband, the kids, and the 'boyfriend' (although he's not exactly my boyfriend). Under the same roof at night. And I was laying in bed, next to Daddy- hearing the husband making coffee in the kitchen and the kids rustling about- and it occurred to me how much progress I've made in my personal life. That how being honest and true to what I need to be happy, I have actually achieved it to a level that makes me happy.

This month I put together two events for Stroke Awareness. One was for work, and one was private within my lifestyle crowd. I took a road trip to Colorado to see my daughter graduate form high school.

I completed my Masters Degree.

Yes, change. Progress. Moving forward.

Life is good....

It's a new day, it's a new life.

Welcome to 2011. It started with a kiss.

I have not been kissed at midnight in a long time, except on the cheek from Alex- but that hardly counts. I enjoyed a nice kiss from MrX at a party with some friends. Shortly thereafter, someone bumped into me, spilling my sparkling cider on my sweatshirt. Well, that's ok.

So I've decided to write mildly about my relationships here- without being at all disrespectful to my family or my husband. I came home from my New Years eve plans and drifted to sleep on the couch. Michael came out and we talked about my evening and then he put me to bed, tucking me in and kissing me goodnight. I am grateful for our friendship, even if sometimes it kinda sucks. For all intents and purposes- he's my life partner, until the day it's decided that he's not. We can co-exist together for now. One married day at a time.