Last week I got a call from the Principle of my sons school saying that he said some very mean and degrading things to his ex girlfriend on Facebook. Furious, I ignored him for a day- took away his cellphone and iTouch and then considered what I could do that would not only be punishment, but also something that he could LEARN from. Forever a student, I came up with this idea. Have him write an essay about his crime. I gave him a week and exact instruction. This is what he came up with. I think it's great and as we have talked, he agreed that he DID learn something. I hope this was a beneficial lesson for him as after he turned the paper in to me, he talked my ear off about it. :)
He has to turn it in to the school principal too.
Why am I writing this paper?
I am writing this paper because on Saturday, March 19th I had committed “cyber bullying”. I had intentionally yelled at my ex-girlfriend, and said some hurtful things to her. She had done nothing wrong yet I continued to yell at her saying that she could go to hell, she was dead to me, and that her new relationship wouldn’t last. I regret saying them as they have cause her much harm. I was angry at I pointed it at the last person I was mad at. I am sorry for saying that.
What is cyber bullying? What are some forms?
“Cyber bullying” is when one minor (child, preteen, teen) is made fun of or bullied over a digital device from another minor. The digital devices include phones or computer instant messaging. Usually the victim is tormented, harassed, humiliated, or threatened. Cyber bullying can only be present when there is a minor on both sides, or started by a minor towards another. Parental involvement turns it into plain cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking. The two kinds of cyber bullying are direct attacks and attacks by a proxy.
Direct attacks are when a minor sends messages directly to the victim via text or IM. The child may send a mean or threatening message to the victim. This also includes “warning wars”. Warning wars are when children “report” or “flag” each other via a website. This can lead to getting kicked off a site for a certain period of time. A child may also create another profile on a social site and use that to attack the victim discretely. Some may also send death threats through text or IM’s using photos and videos.
Attacks by a proxy are when the minor has someone else send the messages either with or without that other person’s knowledge or “doing their dirty work”. Most of the accomplices are used without knowing they are cyber bullying. This form of cyber bullying though, is the most dangerous kind as it often gets an adult or parent involved. Warning wars are also included in this because with enough people “flagging” the victim they will also be kicked off the site for a certain period of time. Most cyber bullies get the victim angry enough that they say hurtful things back, and when the service providers (the people receiving the flags) check to justify the report sent to them, it looks as if the victim is the problem, thus making the service provider the accomplice in this example.
Statistics
- Over half the teens and kids are bullied online, the other half engages in cyber bullying.
- 1 in 3 minors have received a threat online.
- 25% of kids and teens have been cyber bullied through cell phones or IM.
- Over half of the victims DO NOT tell their parents they are being cyber bullied.
- Less than 1 in 5 cyber bully incidents have been reported to law enforcement.
- Girls are more likely than boys to be engaged in cyber bullying.
- Boys are more likely than girls to threaten or be threatened through cyber bullying.
- All races are victims or cyber bullies.
News Story
- The Megan Meier Myspace Incident
Megan Meier was a 13 year old girl from Missouri who had met a person on myspace whom she believed to be a nice boy in her hometown. It turns out that the “boy” was a group of kids and adults who intended to humiliate Megan because a friendship had taken a turn for the worst. After finding out that the new boy was a lie and the new friendship was over, she committed suicide. This act of cyber bullying caused state government officials to pass harsh cyber bullying laws.
- The “Dog Poop” girl
In South Korea a college girl was on a train when her dog pooped on the train floor. When the girl refused to clean it up, a nearby passenger took a picture and posted it on the internet. It soon became viral (popular, something lots of people had seen) and the girl was open to extreme harassment. Some people learned her name and where she lived and she soon had to drop out of school and move to another part of the country.
Cyber Bullying and the Law
Many states have cyber bullying laws and others don’t. Some states consider it a crime and are punishable by law to serve time in juvenile hall, or others give just a fine. In California there is a law in place that allows schools to suspend or expel students for cyber bullying.
How can I prevent myself from cyber bullying?
In my essay, I have learned a lot about cyber bullying. I’ve learned about many of the dangers of it. It was wrong of me to attack like her I did, and could have had repercussions that I did not intend to happen. If it had gone any farther than it did, I could have been suspended or expelled. I will not be part of cyber bullying, and next time I will be more considerate of other people’s feelings. I will simply walk away or not talk to said person if I have nothing nice to say to them or about them.
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org
http://www.bullyingstatistics.org
