So Danny is sitting on the potty, he just isn't using it yet. At least not at home. Sometimes at school he does, but he is not at the point where he feels his body and goes running for the potty.
He IS, however, at the point that he's realized that he HAS a penis. And he realizes that it's fun to play with while SITTING on the potty. I sit in the bathroom with him, to the side, out of the strike zone. And try to encourage him to put his pee in the potty. It's a weird sentence, like 'put your clothes in the hamper' or 'put the lotion in the basket'.
So Danny and I are having 'potty chats' when he starts to examine the pee-pee. HIS pee-pee. He starts to push on it, making it disappear. Pulling on it, to see how far it streches. Push, pull. Push, pull. Until my 3 1/2 year old has inadvertantly given himself a 3 year olds erection. A baby boner. I try to ignore this obvious fact, and ask him if he has to pee. I am torn between hysterical and horrified- but play it off as if this is the most normal thing in the world. I try to ignore that he's now hitting it, from underneath, so it hits him in the pelvis and boing boing boings back into place. He is sort of laughing and a bit shocked because this is clearly something new and fun to do.
Then, he looks up at me with a big grin and says "MOMMY it's GIANT!!!"
About Me
- Julie
- Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday
I've spent a lot of time this week trying to ummmm, back up my movies on DVD. Back up copies are very important when you have kids. (*wink). I've had some struggles finding the right ummm, back up program, and the right discs. I bought a whole batch of bad discs last week. Well I THINK the whole batch is bad. 13 out of 15 discs are bad so it's safe to use that sample and apply it to the entire population of discs on the spindle. How much time do I have to waste with this crap??
Apparently a lot.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!!!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
old memories, old friend
I decided to scan some old pictures so I can put them away for good. I was tempted to throw them away, but I didn't. I thought I would share them. This first picture was the taken on the last day of school, my freshmen year in high school. That is my best friend Carrie. We've been best friends since my freshmen year. 21 years now. The boys were The Jason's. Jason Clark (my boyfriend), and Jason McEachran (her boyfriend). Jason M and I were good friends through high school and I liked him alot. Years later, I got WAY naked with him. He (Jason M) found his name on my blog a year ago or so, but he never emailed me. S0 if you are still out there and reading Jason, send me an email!!
The other Jason, was moving away that summer, so we kept in touch on the phone for that summer, and then moved on. Once I graduated and got my license, I went out to visit him and we had sex on his couch while the video to Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus was on MTV. That isn't all that I remember of course, but it's all that is fit for mentioning.
She lives in the Midwest now and I haven't seen her in 5 years or so. Our kids are roughly the same ages. I have boys, she has girls. In 4 years, I will turn 40 and Carrie and I will have been best friends for 25 years. We have talked about taking a trip together to celebrate. Someplace very Beaches-like, at Martha's Vineyard or something- drink wine, play cards, smoke cigarettes. I need to make it out to visit her again though, maybe after graduation.
What I love about this picture is that while Carrie and I are leaning into our boyfriends, we are still holding hands. Are arms are crossed over the other persons and we are holding on to each other. We always have. I love that.
This next picture are the "4 of us". For most of high school, myself, Carrie, Christie (white sweatshirt) and Abigail (in torquise) were a group. We hung out together, spent the weekends, traded boyfriends, and exchanged secrets.
Christie had higher aspirations than all of us, but maybe that was because she knew exactly what she wanted. She was going to go to UCLA, she was going to marry someone who was Greek, like her. She did exactly that. She went to UCLA, and later married a Greek pastor. We always knew she would. I speak to her maybe once a year now, if that. Exchange pictures of our kids. She dated my husband. She has kids now, boys. She has always been a good friend to me. I miss her- but I admit I am horrible keeping in touch, and I have no good reason for it.
Abigail was more friends with Carrie and Christie than she was with me. Around our senior year the group sort of broke up and I don't remember talking to Abigail at all that year although I'm sure we said hello on occasion. None of us have heard from Abigail in many years- but I heard that she was a teacher at a community college and I saw in the reunion book that she was married and had some big dogs. That was 8 years ago though.
I miss having a 'gang' to hang out with. I miss that comfort of having a 'circle'. Knowing that when there was a crisis, we would have each other. When two of us were fighting, the other two would not take sides, but would work together to help patch things up. That's the way I saw it. For my birthday one year, we went to see "Stand By Me." I remember Carrie started crying at the end, because she forsaw that someday we would all stop being friends.
We promised it would never happen.
But of course
It did.
But I have these pictures, and I have my memories. And I still have Carrie.
The other Jason, was moving away that summer, so we kept in touch on the phone for that summer, and then moved on. Once I graduated and got my license, I went out to visit him and we had sex on his couch while the video to Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus was on MTV. That isn't all that I remember of course, but it's all that is fit for mentioning.
She lives in the Midwest now and I haven't seen her in 5 years or so. Our kids are roughly the same ages. I have boys, she has girls. In 4 years, I will turn 40 and Carrie and I will have been best friends for 25 years. We have talked about taking a trip together to celebrate. Someplace very Beaches-like, at Martha's Vineyard or something- drink wine, play cards, smoke cigarettes. I need to make it out to visit her again though, maybe after graduation.
What I love about this picture is that while Carrie and I are leaning into our boyfriends, we are still holding hands. Are arms are crossed over the other persons and we are holding on to each other. We always have. I love that.
This next picture are the "4 of us". For most of high school, myself, Carrie, Christie (white sweatshirt) and Abigail (in torquise) were a group. We hung out together, spent the weekends, traded boyfriends, and exchanged secrets.
Christie had higher aspirations than all of us, but maybe that was because she knew exactly what she wanted. She was going to go to UCLA, she was going to marry someone who was Greek, like her. She did exactly that. She went to UCLA, and later married a Greek pastor. We always knew she would. I speak to her maybe once a year now, if that. Exchange pictures of our kids. She dated my husband. She has kids now, boys. She has always been a good friend to me. I miss her- but I admit I am horrible keeping in touch, and I have no good reason for it.
Abigail was more friends with Carrie and Christie than she was with me. Around our senior year the group sort of broke up and I don't remember talking to Abigail at all that year although I'm sure we said hello on occasion. None of us have heard from Abigail in many years- but I heard that she was a teacher at a community college and I saw in the reunion book that she was married and had some big dogs. That was 8 years ago though.
I miss having a 'gang' to hang out with. I miss that comfort of having a 'circle'. Knowing that when there was a crisis, we would have each other. When two of us were fighting, the other two would not take sides, but would work together to help patch things up. That's the way I saw it. For my birthday one year, we went to see "Stand By Me." I remember Carrie started crying at the end, because she forsaw that someday we would all stop being friends.
We promised it would never happen.
But of course
It did.
But I have these pictures, and I have my memories. And I still have Carrie.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The potty trials...
I am dedicated to potty training this weekend. It's time. He's ready. He stays dry for long periods at a time. He will sit on the potty, he just won't GO. I'm trying.
Sat on the potty- 4 times.
USED the potty- 0 times.
Peed on the hamper- 1 time.
He had it turned upside down and was standing on it. At least it was easy to clean up. I was advised by his preschool teachers to just go straight for underwear- cause he is already pull-ups half the time, and they are just thinner diapers. So this morning, I put him in underwear. Every 30 minutes he sits on the potty, and get 5 m&m's. it worked with Gabe, who was 6 months older. My one consolation is that this is the last child I will have to potty train. Once Danny is out of diapers, I'm done. There will be no more babies, and I won't ever have to potty train again. yah!!!!
Here's a cute clip of the video we are watching over and over!!
Wish us luck!!
5 minutes after I posted this, he pooped in his underwear. ugh!!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
pain in the vag
literally...
So recently I had decided to go 'bald'- and yes I am talking about that. I usually keep a nice situation, with keeping it all together and tidy. But recently I decided to shave it all and see how that goes. I do this occasionally, but it's not something that I do all the time. I know lots of women who keep it bald, but I just don't put that kind of maintenance into anything really.
The texture of my hair is somewhere between asian and black. Thick strands. So the hair below is much the same, although I would not say "thick" because that is never a word that a WOMAN wants to use to describe anything about her vag. Either way, I have asian/black hair- the carpet matches the drapes. hee hee
So I decided to let it grow back, and in the midst of this, I have developed an ingrown hair. Yeah- a fuckin ingrown HAIR. Of course nobody is looking at me up close so I'm not concerned about the esthetics of it right now, but you know- it really fucking hurts. I mean, REALLY FUCKING HURTS. You would never think that a small 'sore' on the mons pubis area would fuck up your day so much. Every move I make seems to rub against this very SMALL bump that hurts as if it were as big as a grapefruit!!!
This has never happened to me before. It's like someone is pulling on the hairs replacing them with needles. It's insane and there isn't really anything I can do to, you know, it's not like you can just pick at it. It's not in the most visible place. ugh.
So I'm miserable today. And annoyed and yeah, a little embarassed about it. One of the nurses asked me why I was so quiet today- and I said, "I have an ingrown hair- where you REALLY don't want one." She said, "OH MY GOD- I hate it when that happens!!!"
Apparently she knows. Apparently this happens to other people too.
That helps, a little bit.
It's not the first time I've gone bald. I do it randomly throughout the year, you know, for the Holidays and my birthday.
It may, however be my last.
So recently I had decided to go 'bald'- and yes I am talking about that. I usually keep a nice situation, with keeping it all together and tidy. But recently I decided to shave it all and see how that goes. I do this occasionally, but it's not something that I do all the time. I know lots of women who keep it bald, but I just don't put that kind of maintenance into anything really.
The texture of my hair is somewhere between asian and black. Thick strands. So the hair below is much the same, although I would not say "thick" because that is never a word that a WOMAN wants to use to describe anything about her vag. Either way, I have asian/black hair- the carpet matches the drapes. hee hee
So I decided to let it grow back, and in the midst of this, I have developed an ingrown hair. Yeah- a fuckin ingrown HAIR. Of course nobody is looking at me up close so I'm not concerned about the esthetics of it right now, but you know- it really fucking hurts. I mean, REALLY FUCKING HURTS. You would never think that a small 'sore' on the mons pubis area would fuck up your day so much. Every move I make seems to rub against this very SMALL bump that hurts as if it were as big as a grapefruit!!!
This has never happened to me before. It's like someone is pulling on the hairs replacing them with needles. It's insane and there isn't really anything I can do to, you know, it's not like you can just pick at it. It's not in the most visible place. ugh.
So I'm miserable today. And annoyed and yeah, a little embarassed about it. One of the nurses asked me why I was so quiet today- and I said, "I have an ingrown hair- where you REALLY don't want one." She said, "OH MY GOD- I hate it when that happens!!!"
Apparently she knows. Apparently this happens to other people too.
That helps, a little bit.
It's not the first time I've gone bald. I do it randomly throughout the year, you know, for the Holidays and my birthday.
It may, however be my last.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
many shades of crazy- HNT
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday
I was reading a book and eating M&M when I looked down at my snack. It didn't occur to me that this was weird. but they are all in groups of 4. I ate the odd numbers to make them all groups of 4. Looking at this picture now, the second group of yellow only has three. You have no idea how that bugs me....
it's funny, and kinda insane how I do this without really thinking of it. I have to stop posting now, cause that lone yellow M&M is buggin the fuck out of me.
Now go see the Daddy to find out who else is playing HNT!!!
I was reading a book and eating M&M when I looked down at my snack. It didn't occur to me that this was weird. but they are all in groups of 4. I ate the odd numbers to make them all groups of 4. Looking at this picture now, the second group of yellow only has three. You have no idea how that bugs me....
it's funny, and kinda insane how I do this without really thinking of it. I have to stop posting now, cause that lone yellow M&M is buggin the fuck out of me.
Now go see the Daddy to find out who else is playing HNT!!!
choice: the act of selecting
This morning Gabe wanted to bring a toy to daycare and I said he could bring it in the CAR- but not take it to school. Leave it at home, or leave it in the car- these are your choices.
I am not sure if giving choices is a good way to avoid the screaming fits while still not allowing whatever it is they are trying to do, or just giving the kids too much lee way. I remember just being told "No!" and that kind of being the end of it- but of course if I remember it- then I was old enough to know that I was going to get knocked on my ass.
Eat your dinner or go to bed. These are your choices.
Get out of bed or you will have to walk to Oma's house. These are your choices.
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who's kids are always screaming. I know that it's a phase that Danny is going through, where he immediately refuses anything that I suggest. Alex went through it and so did Gabe. Gabe is just trying to force his independence, and also make sure that Danny doesn't get too much attention. The end result of all this is that they scream a lot. Leaving me frustrated and ready to shake them. It's hard when I don't want to spend time with them. When I dread going home, or I make little bets with myself as to which one is going to go to bed early, with an over and under as to how many minutes he will make it through dinner.
I am feeling very defeated this morning. I'm almost ready to let the e-husband move back home just so he can take half of the abuse. I'm so tired of every day being such a fight. Toddlers are jerks.
When all else fails... YouTube!!! (well first, get a cinnamon melt from McDonalds and then YouTube.
I am not sure if giving choices is a good way to avoid the screaming fits while still not allowing whatever it is they are trying to do, or just giving the kids too much lee way. I remember just being told "No!" and that kind of being the end of it- but of course if I remember it- then I was old enough to know that I was going to get knocked on my ass.
Eat your dinner or go to bed. These are your choices.
Get out of bed or you will have to walk to Oma's house. These are your choices.
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who's kids are always screaming. I know that it's a phase that Danny is going through, where he immediately refuses anything that I suggest. Alex went through it and so did Gabe. Gabe is just trying to force his independence, and also make sure that Danny doesn't get too much attention. The end result of all this is that they scream a lot. Leaving me frustrated and ready to shake them. It's hard when I don't want to spend time with them. When I dread going home, or I make little bets with myself as to which one is going to go to bed early, with an over and under as to how many minutes he will make it through dinner.
I am feeling very defeated this morning. I'm almost ready to let the e-husband move back home just so he can take half of the abuse. I'm so tired of every day being such a fight. Toddlers are jerks.
When all else fails... YouTube!!! (well first, get a cinnamon melt from McDonalds and then YouTube.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
PSA on PDA
I was looking through my sons paperwork for Jr High School this morning. I went to this Junior High school for a little while. I transferred half way thru 7th grade due to an unfortunate incident with a boy named "Alvin" and Princes Purple Rain.
Anyway, I read through what I feel are the pertinent rules and regs. No weapons, no drugs- duh. The dress code. No slippers, pajama's, belt buckles with initials.
Huh? Belt buckles with initials?? Is this a fad that I missed??
No hats, caps, bandanas, hairnets, scarves, headbands, or sweatshirt hoods.
Ok I specifically remember wearing hats in Jr. High. Beret's were popular, as well as the Duran Duran hats. I had one of those. Bandanas, scarves and headbands... all that. I wore all of that. Maybe there are trying to avoid this.
Sweatshirt hoods? What if it's cold? What if it's raining. Hello- no hoodies?? It figures! There's always come fuckin clown screwin it up for the kids that just want to keep their ears warm.
------------
Also under the General Sudent Conduct I came across their Public Display of Affection policy. There is a POLICY for this now....
*No Kissing
*No Hand Holding
*No Hugging
No hugging??? No hand holding?? Jeez, I remember how many times I was kissed at my locker (which they no longer have). I remember what a ginormous monumental deal it was to have my hand held on the way to my classes. And hugging?? Really? Is hugging such a big deal? Maybe they are trying to avoid what looks like hugging, but it really dry humping. I mean, I guess kids can be leaning up against each other in that holding patter and claim that they are just hugging. I guess you can't put a time limit on hugging so they just outlawed it all together. I guess you don't want kids makin out on the campus, but really, didn't we ALL do it there??
But really... no hugging or hand holding? What is so wrong with mild public displays of affection? Is this Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Show no emotion.
How ever do you identify that you are 'going out' with someone if you are not allowed to hold hands. That is a very good way to let the other girls know that he's goin out with you. He's holding my hand, back off bitches!!!
It's not only about showing affection, it's about showing ownership!!
Anyway, I read through what I feel are the pertinent rules and regs. No weapons, no drugs- duh. The dress code. No slippers, pajama's, belt buckles with initials.
Huh? Belt buckles with initials?? Is this a fad that I missed??
No hats, caps, bandanas, hairnets, scarves, headbands, or sweatshirt hoods.
Ok I specifically remember wearing hats in Jr. High. Beret's were popular, as well as the Duran Duran hats. I had one of those. Bandanas, scarves and headbands... all that. I wore all of that. Maybe there are trying to avoid this.
Sweatshirt hoods? What if it's cold? What if it's raining. Hello- no hoodies?? It figures! There's always come fuckin clown screwin it up for the kids that just want to keep their ears warm.
------------
Also under the General Sudent Conduct I came across their Public Display of Affection policy. There is a POLICY for this now....
*No Kissing
*No Hand Holding
*No Hugging
No hugging??? No hand holding?? Jeez, I remember how many times I was kissed at my locker (which they no longer have). I remember what a ginormous monumental deal it was to have my hand held on the way to my classes. And hugging?? Really? Is hugging such a big deal? Maybe they are trying to avoid what looks like hugging, but it really dry humping. I mean, I guess kids can be leaning up against each other in that holding patter and claim that they are just hugging. I guess you can't put a time limit on hugging so they just outlawed it all together. I guess you don't want kids makin out on the campus, but really, didn't we ALL do it there??
But really... no hugging or hand holding? What is so wrong with mild public displays of affection? Is this Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Show no emotion.
How ever do you identify that you are 'going out' with someone if you are not allowed to hold hands. That is a very good way to let the other girls know that he's goin out with you. He's holding my hand, back off bitches!!!
It's not only about showing affection, it's about showing ownership!!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
HNT- I wish I had tanned boobies.
Read my blog post below- cause I wrote it today and I hate it to get lost when something funny happens to someone else.
Here's the tan I've been working on. I'm getting hella fucking dark and so are the boys. Alex was born white, but then he started to tan as he got older, and then never lightened up again. Gabe and Danny were born more on the white side too- I wonder how they will turn out. The e-husband is white but he tans well. On the day we got married- he was as dark as I was- maybe a little more. I suspect all my boys will be dark skinned eventually. Sometimes I wonder, does the exposed skin get darker, or does the covered skin get lighter?- cause you know- I don't remember ever being as light as my boobs are. Them's white girls boobs!!!
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday.
Here's the tan I've been working on. I'm getting hella fucking dark and so are the boys. Alex was born white, but then he started to tan as he got older, and then never lightened up again. Gabe and Danny were born more on the white side too- I wonder how they will turn out. The e-husband is white but he tans well. On the day we got married- he was as dark as I was- maybe a little more. I suspect all my boys will be dark skinned eventually. Sometimes I wonder, does the exposed skin get darker, or does the covered skin get lighter?- cause you know- I don't remember ever being as light as my boobs are. Them's white girls boobs!!!
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday.
Or would you rather just suck face??
My friend went on a date the other day. She was luke warm about the date. He was getting kinda needy, calling every day and 'checking in' ("What- am I his fucking mother now?"). She had suspicions that maybe he was a bit on the clingy side.
My friend isn't exactly in "go go relationship" mode lately. When she joked with him that he was gettintg kinda needy, he said "am I? Oh my God! Maybe I am- I'm SOO sorry...." So clingy, needy, and mother-fucken whiney- are not a good mix. Not even for me- but even less for her.
Luke. Warm.
So this was thier first actual date. Complete with picking up and dinner. Thier interactions had been lunch up until now. From her accounts, dinner went alright. Chit chat. Small talk. Nothing really in common, but pleasant conversation just the same. I suspect that she smiled charmingly, laughed at all his jokes. Replied to his quasi-humorous remarks with replies like "totally" and "no doubt". She's a great date, to this I can attest.
Apparently at the end of the evening he kissed her goodnight. She called me later and said, "He kissed me."
silence
her- Ok, Julie- I can NOT do that again!
J- why not?
her- He totally slobbered on me. I mean, he ATE MY FACE!!!
J- Oh nooooooooooo!!
her- oh yeah. It was bad. I had to, when I went inside, WIPE OFF MY FACE. It was bad. Bad bad bad.
J- ewwwwwwww
her- yeah, ewww is right. Total ewwwww. I mean, what the fuck IS THAT???
J- what was he doing?
her- he just engulfed my mouth with his, and then he rammed his tongue to the back of my throat... and then like looked around for something back there. ugh- it was just, ugh (shuddering).
I have many thoughts....
My friend isn't exactly in "go go relationship" mode lately. When she joked with him that he was gettintg kinda needy, he said "am I? Oh my God! Maybe I am- I'm SOO sorry...." So clingy, needy, and mother-fucken whiney- are not a good mix. Not even for me- but even less for her.
Luke. Warm.
So this was thier first actual date. Complete with picking up and dinner. Thier interactions had been lunch up until now. From her accounts, dinner went alright. Chit chat. Small talk. Nothing really in common, but pleasant conversation just the same. I suspect that she smiled charmingly, laughed at all his jokes. Replied to his quasi-humorous remarks with replies like "totally" and "no doubt". She's a great date, to this I can attest.
Apparently at the end of the evening he kissed her goodnight. She called me later and said, "He kissed me."
silence
her- Ok, Julie- I can NOT do that again!
J- why not?
her- He totally slobbered on me. I mean, he ATE MY FACE!!!
J- Oh nooooooooooo!!
her- oh yeah. It was bad. I had to, when I went inside, WIPE OFF MY FACE. It was bad. Bad bad bad.
J- ewwwwwwww
her- yeah, ewww is right. Total ewwwww. I mean, what the fuck IS THAT???
J- what was he doing?
her- he just engulfed my mouth with his, and then he rammed his tongue to the back of my throat... and then like looked around for something back there. ugh- it was just, ugh (shuddering).
I have many thoughts....
- When do you tell someone that they are not a good kisser
- Did someone tell this guy he was a good kisser, making him think that this was good?
- Tonsil hockey is NOT a compliment.
- Do you force someone to kiss the way you d0- or do you mold to thier style, finding something in the middle??
Tongue kissing is nice. I like it but as a grown up and married person it doesn't happen very often anymore. Tongue kissing means "I'd like to have sex now."
A passionate mostly closed, minimal tongue kiss is very good too. That's a movie kiss. Lips pressing, tongue sweeping- lots of muah muah muah. That's good. That's very good. Again, doesn't happen much. I've kissed a lot of people. I've kissed men and women. I like to think I am a good kisser because I don't 'lead'. I sort of mold to the style of the person I'm kissing and then together it's nice to find a nice medium. A good semi-closed mouth, warm, soft kiss with sweeping tongue will make my knees weak and I think I speak for most women. Lead with the lips guys.
While most women are impressed with a strong and skilled tongue, we dont need (or WANT) you to check for strep throat while you're at it
Monday, August 13, 2007
everyday is a compromise
maybe it's the meds. maybe it's hormones. maybe it's my lack of human contact- but lately I've been so moved and touched by so many things. my brain wraps around things and I'm almost touched to tears by it.
This is one thing. really, it's worth the watch:
I think about all my secrets. The secrets I share with others. The secrets others share with me, and the ones that I keep all to myself. Sometimes I wish that I could write about everything, but I've chosed to not be anonymous so I can't. There are too many people to protect.
Sometimes I am just protecting myself from your wrath, sometimes I'm protecting you from mine.
For all my secrets- my biggest regrets are probably lost in the things I never said.
This is one thing. really, it's worth the watch:
I think about all my secrets. The secrets I share with others. The secrets others share with me, and the ones that I keep all to myself. Sometimes I wish that I could write about everything, but I've chosed to not be anonymous so I can't. There are too many people to protect.
Sometimes I am just protecting myself from your wrath, sometimes I'm protecting you from mine.
For all my secrets- my biggest regrets are probably lost in the things I never said.
clawing my way to the middle
Really, I got nothin. So little is going on in my life right now I cannot even be interesting.
It was a bit overcast this morning, it reminds me of camping. You get up in the morning, just as the sun comes up but has not broken thru the clouds yet. Everything feels humid and you are ready to jump in the water, even though it's freezing. Overcast summer mornings always remind me of camping- coming out of a tent and seeing the lake. I have fond - maybe nostalgic- memories of camping, but I don't like to camp. Ok, I haven't BEEN camping in a long time- not since Paul and I went to Joshua Tree and I froze all night long. It was too cold to get out of my sleeping bag to even climb into HIS. I just shivered and seethed all night, and vowed NEVER to camp again.
E-husband talks about camping, but I've always been able to convince him otherwise. But I do have memories. Perhaps I've just blocked out the bad memories, or just can't save space for them anymore. I have better bad memories to save.
School starts in three weeks and I'm strangely looking forward to it. This has been a weird summer. I've spent a lot of time with my family, which is great. I have much to be grateful for- but I really just want to get back to school. I am bored and I feel unproductive, just being at home. No papers to write, no studying to do. No research. Maybe it's because I'm a senior, and I'm graduating this year. And Cheryl and I are taking a vacation because we are both graduating in May. Can't wait.
I have much to look forward to and I just want to get it started.
I leave you with this. I got this in a myspace bulletin, it made me laugh.
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
It was a bit overcast this morning, it reminds me of camping. You get up in the morning, just as the sun comes up but has not broken thru the clouds yet. Everything feels humid and you are ready to jump in the water, even though it's freezing. Overcast summer mornings always remind me of camping- coming out of a tent and seeing the lake. I have fond - maybe nostalgic- memories of camping, but I don't like to camp. Ok, I haven't BEEN camping in a long time- not since Paul and I went to Joshua Tree and I froze all night long. It was too cold to get out of my sleeping bag to even climb into HIS. I just shivered and seethed all night, and vowed NEVER to camp again.
E-husband talks about camping, but I've always been able to convince him otherwise. But I do have memories. Perhaps I've just blocked out the bad memories, or just can't save space for them anymore. I have better bad memories to save.
School starts in three weeks and I'm strangely looking forward to it. This has been a weird summer. I've spent a lot of time with my family, which is great. I have much to be grateful for- but I really just want to get back to school. I am bored and I feel unproductive, just being at home. No papers to write, no studying to do. No research. Maybe it's because I'm a senior, and I'm graduating this year. And Cheryl and I are taking a vacation because we are both graduating in May. Can't wait.
I have much to look forward to and I just want to get it started.
I leave you with this. I got this in a myspace bulletin, it made me laugh.
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Viva.... Laughlin???
I was watching TV tonight and watching a preview for a new TV show. Hugh Jackman... ok, I'm listening. Some casino action... Vegas??
Hey, I'm in....
wait.
Viva Laughlin.
ummmm...... Laughlin???
Laughlin?- as in Laughlin Nevada?
Seriously??
This wasn't the preview that I saw, but watching this one... well, maybe Hugh lost a bet.
I pray it isn't as bad as this looks. I really like him.
Hey, I'm in....
wait.
Viva Laughlin.
ummmm...... Laughlin???
Laughlin?- as in Laughlin Nevada?
Seriously??
This wasn't the preview that I saw, but watching this one... well, maybe Hugh lost a bet.
I pray it isn't as bad as this looks. I really like him.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Brad can convict me anyday....
Fri Aug 10, 1:11 AM ET
LOS ANGELES (AFP) - Potential jurors in a Los Angeles court were forced to do a double-take on Thursday when their court-room duties were enlivened by a jolt of star power in the shape of Brad Pitt.
The Hollywood heart-throb reported for jury duty in Los Angeles, his publicist confirmed to AFP, before eventually being discharged after the case he was due to hear ended in a plea-deal.
The TMZ.com celebrity news website said Pitt had been ordered by justice officials to serve on a jury or else be held in contempt of court after being granted a string of delay orders.
Pitt's representatives denied the claim however, saying the actor had gone through the normal legal channels to seek an extension before he eventually reported for duty early Thursday.
TMZ said the "Seven" and "Troy" star mingled with other members of the jury pool before being discharged when the defendant in his pleaded 'no contest' to driving under the influence charges.
Another good reason to do your civic duty. You might meet someone gorgeous. I mean, famous.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
What HNT has done for me.
I think the best thing about Half Nekkid Thursday is that it allows you to see yourself in a different way. It also gives you a glimpse of how other people see you. It's done wonders for my confidence and the way I see myself- as well as changing my view of other people. There's something beautiful, and creative, and sexy about everyone.
While I always thought I was attractive enough, I rarely felt like I was the best looking girl in the room. I was always first to point out that I'm overweight, or too short, or my hair is dated and wild. I rarely looked at myself and thought, "Damn- I'm hot." I tried hard to stay out of the pictures. When I started blogging, and then Half Nekkid Thursdays, it started to change. It feels good to post a picture of myself, and then getting the compliments from people who are also celebrating themselves. It's awesome. I spend hours lurking the HNT pages and seeing amazing people of all shapes and sizes showing themselves off from EVERY angle. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that I look forward to Thursdays and getting Half Nekkid.
Thanks Os!
Go see Os and find out who else is feeling beautiful today!!!
What would I do with it??
If I caught the ball- what would I do with it??
It's worth up to $500K.
I'd sell it, invest it and make sure my kids could go to college. Especially if I was tackled, and bloodied in the process.
Collectors items are weird like that. I don't own anything of value like that. Beanie babies, or cabbage patch dolls anything that you are supposed to leave in the package until apparently becomes worth more. I guess my mind doesn't stay focused long enough.
Not surprising, I also don't currently have a 401K.
It's worth up to $500K.
I'd sell it, invest it and make sure my kids could go to college. Especially if I was tackled, and bloodied in the process.
Collectors items are weird like that. I don't own anything of value like that. Beanie babies, or cabbage patch dolls anything that you are supposed to leave in the package until apparently becomes worth more. I guess my mind doesn't stay focused long enough.
Not surprising, I also don't currently have a 401K.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
it's all fun and games until...
I'm a mean wretched horrible mother. I am a killjoy and a buzzkill and a party pooper. I am tired of the kids rough housing and I apparently won't let anyone have any fun.
Or maybe I'm just trying to avoid a fucking spinal cord injury.
I see the way these boys wrestle. All twisted up and jumping on each other. Alex was laying on the floor, half upside down, his like he was coming out of a backwards somersault or something, and Gabe jumped on his back. Nothing happened, but I swear I almost had a heart attack. I could just imagine Alex's twisted and contorted neck snapping and him being paralyzed from a T1 spinal injury. Just what I need. Paralyzed by a 4 year old.
The rough housing just needs to stop. I know they are boys and that they are having fun, but it's making me crazy. It's too loud, and it just gets rougher as the weeks pass. The noise level gets too high- it drives me insane. Many things drive me insane lately- but that is just one of them.
Next on my list is the fucking neighbor who insists on blaring his fucking music and peeling out in the parking lot. What a fucking moron. I want to punch him in the face.
Or maybe I'm just trying to avoid a fucking spinal cord injury.
I see the way these boys wrestle. All twisted up and jumping on each other. Alex was laying on the floor, half upside down, his like he was coming out of a backwards somersault or something, and Gabe jumped on his back. Nothing happened, but I swear I almost had a heart attack. I could just imagine Alex's twisted and contorted neck snapping and him being paralyzed from a T1 spinal injury. Just what I need. Paralyzed by a 4 year old.
The rough housing just needs to stop. I know they are boys and that they are having fun, but it's making me crazy. It's too loud, and it just gets rougher as the weeks pass. The noise level gets too high- it drives me insane. Many things drive me insane lately- but that is just one of them.
Next on my list is the fucking neighbor who insists on blaring his fucking music and peeling out in the parking lot. What a fucking moron. I want to punch him in the face.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Is it Friday yet?- HNT!!
So what do you think of my new banner?? If anyone knows how I can center it, that would be great- I can't figure that part out. (THANKS Os, for fixing that !!! Hope you enjoyed my special "Thank You")
So this is the picture, or one of them, without the flowers and such.
Yes, that is a REAL feather boa and slutty red stripper shoes.
I'm the best when I'm off my feet.
So this is the picture, or one of them, without the flowers and such.
Yes, that is a REAL feather boa and slutty red stripper shoes.
I'm the best when I'm off my feet.
The blog about the blog
Lately I've been wishing I just had one blog. Many of the sex bloggers know who I am, and my friends know I write a sex blog. I wonder who I am hiding from. I'm not afraid of people knowing that I write a sex blog. If you know me, you wouldn't be shocked, and some of you might even be impressed. While the e-husband has never seen the blog, he's read a decent amount of my stuff. He likes it. My boss loves erotica and she loves my writing too.
I never claimed that the sex blog was all true.
I wonder if I could write normal things as well as I write about fucking.
I've also considered stopping writing to both blogs and going anonymous. Writing about my life, 100% non-fiction, and throwing in the erotica tales. Other than my mother, of course, who the hell am I afraid of finding out??
This year I'm going to participate in NaNoWriMo and actually attempt to turn the erotica into a novel. I'm going to work out the details and story and such and then sit down and write bang it out (no pun intended). Who knows if it will be any good? Who knows if I can carry a story for 50K words? Who knows if I can pull off third person writing?
Is it erotica, or porn?? I guess that depends on my mood. It depends on your perspective. Maybe you will be offended by my language, or the content, or maybe you are not into some of the things that I find sexy. Some who know me personally will not be able to get past the fact that it's me writing it. Maybe I'm not pretty enough- maybe you think that big girls don't know what good sex is. Whatever. I write it because it channels my demons and sometimes quiets the bitchy voices in my head. The attention is nice. The people that I've met are amazing. It's given me a new confidence about mysself. Even if my dark side is twisted and nasty and sometimes a bit on the violent side, don't try to tell me you don't have a dark side. Everyone has a dark side.
I'm blogging about my blog. That's kind of ironic. One thing is for sure, I will be changing the URL soon. When I picked it, I had no idea that it would be as popular as it is, and I never thought that I would be a little uncomfortable giving it to people that I actually know. It reminds me of Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Sometimes you really gotta think these things through....
I never claimed that the sex blog was all true.
I wonder if I could write normal things as well as I write about fucking.
I've also considered stopping writing to both blogs and going anonymous. Writing about my life, 100% non-fiction, and throwing in the erotica tales. Other than my mother, of course, who the hell am I afraid of finding out??
This year I'm going to participate in NaNoWriMo and actually attempt to turn the erotica into a novel. I'm going to work out the details and story and such and then sit down and write bang it out (no pun intended). Who knows if it will be any good? Who knows if I can carry a story for 50K words? Who knows if I can pull off third person writing?
Is it erotica, or porn?? I guess that depends on my mood. It depends on your perspective. Maybe you will be offended by my language, or the content, or maybe you are not into some of the things that I find sexy. Some who know me personally will not be able to get past the fact that it's me writing it. Maybe I'm not pretty enough- maybe you think that big girls don't know what good sex is. Whatever. I write it because it channels my demons and sometimes quiets the bitchy voices in my head. The attention is nice. The people that I've met are amazing. It's given me a new confidence about mysself. Even if my dark side is twisted and nasty and sometimes a bit on the violent side, don't try to tell me you don't have a dark side. Everyone has a dark side.
I'm blogging about my blog. That's kind of ironic. One thing is for sure, I will be changing the URL soon. When I picked it, I had no idea that it would be as popular as it is, and I never thought that I would be a little uncomfortable giving it to people that I actually know. It reminds me of Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Sometimes you really gotta think these things through....
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