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Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.

Monday, March 30, 2009

California Season

I often don't open my mouth when people are in conversation about the weather. I don't use the term weather as a metaphor for mundane topics. I mean, 'the weather'. People get really frustrated with my uneducated, and simplified meteorology/ weather tactics.

I'm from California. Born and raised, and very rarely have I ever left. I've lived probably 90% of my life (that's a fast calculation) living within 15 miles of the house I grew up in. My son is going to the Jr. High School I went to. I drive past my high school every day that I drive to work. Being from California- Southern California- things are different here. One thing that is different here, than it is in many other parts of the world, is the weather.

I would guess that it's usually between 60-85 degrees on any given day. That's what it seems like in MY world. A little research would tell me that the winter months are get down in the 40's, and of course we months get into three digits. In my little world, I'm cold when it's half a degree below 70. Just as the thermostat reaches 80, I'm hot. I think many (but not most) people who have always lived in California have always felt that way. We are climate controlled.

Weather snobs always piss me off. Those who tell me, "Oh you don't know cold." Ummm, yes I do. When I feel that chill on my skin and my nipples are sticking out through my very PADDED bra- I'm cold. Don't tell me I don't know cold. Maybe I've never had to walk through the snow, but you know- I live in Southern California. Don't blame ME for the awesome fucking weather here. I didn't create it, I just enjoy it so put on your snow boots and drudge away, Mr. McFreezy.

That being said, I was having a conversation with my best friend Ed who lives in Colorado, who started our most recent conversation with, "They said it wasn't going to snow, but it's fucking snowing."

"Is it supposed to snow this late in March?" I asked him? "If it's still snowing the first few months of spring, why don't they just change the damn dates of the seasons?"

My friends on the East Coast are still freezing thier pretty tits off as well. On Friday here in Cali, I swear it was 85 degrees. I made sure to tell them all about it. Winter is WAY over here- even though it was a very chilly 60 something degrees last night and probably in the 50's this morning. Winter is over.
O-VER

So as the conversation went, we identified the 'seasons'- of a non traveling, temperature controlled, California girl/ parent such as myself.

  • "Summer" starts on the 'last day of school', and ends on the 'first day of school'
  • "Winter" starts the Monday after Thanksgiving and ends around the December 28th. (Whatever day the Christmas Decorations start coming down.)

The rest of the time, is just California time.

It's all pretty simple. It's going to be about 72 degrees today. That seems about right for California Season this time of year.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hotel Sex Stories- HNT

Among the books I'm reading- one of them is "Do Not Disturb- Hotel Sex Stories" edited by one very sexy Rachel Kramer Bussel. I love reading her anthologies and this one was no exception.


Hotel Sex is always good, right? You can get crazy in hotel rooms. You can meet strangers. You can refresh stale relationships. You can play. You can roleplay. You can experiment.

Sometimes you sleep and rest up and all that... but whatever....

One of my favorite stories in this book is called Heart-Shaped Holes, by Madlyn March, about a woman who is a hotel with her new husband, afraid that she's frigid- when she meets a woman at the soda machine who shows her that she's not. Ohhh, so very sexy.

And of course, my VERY favorite story is from my friend (and girl crush) Tess. It's about a dirty hot threesome... and I hear that during her reading it at In The Flesh in NYC last week, one of the guests was shocked and disgusted by the words "cunt" and "double penetration."

Oh give it up lady. Apparently you don't know Tess!!!



Pick it up, or ANY of the anthologies edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel at Amazon. I have about six of them and they are great hot dirty reads. My personal favorite of her collection is Spanked- Red Cheeked Erotica. I'm just that kind of lady.

Happy Reading, and whatever else you may be doing while you're reading.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Living with fear

A long time a go I wrote post about having a conversation with fear. You can find it here. This was 2 and a half years ago. Seems so long, but then not very long at all.

I wonder what my conversation with fear would look like today?


--
Hello Fear. I see you're back.

I never left. I just kept quiet.

Why?

Because you buried me with other things.

I did not. Look at all I've accomplished.

Yes you did. You got distracted and ignored me. But I was here. Me and Anger have been hanging out.

I thought Anger kicked your ass.

No, we're old friends. You COULD have just gotten rid of me. You could have talked to me. You could have faced me.

You don't listen to Reason.

That's the beauty of it. I don't HAVE to listen to Reason. Reason is a wimp.

Fuck you, I don't have to take your crap.

No, Julie. No you don't. You can move past me. You can face me, deal with me, and get rid of me.

I guess I just don't know how.

Well, then I guess I'll just hang around for a while. I seem to have rented a nice space up here in your mind. Thanks for the futon sofa and the big screen- it's comfy.

---

I sent an email to my former Al-Anon sponsor today. I'm not sure why... but just the act of reaching out seems like a step in the right direction.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

since you been gone...

In the movie When a Man Loves a Woman there's a scene when Alice comes home and she snidely comments about all the frozen waffles, if you can get past all the frozen orange juice.

He said, "The kids like it now."

"Now?" she responds, "You mean- post shameful incarceration period."

"That's what we like to call it."


--
it's kind of like that around here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

more and nothing- HNT

If you knew.

If you only knew me.
You know my name, my face. Some of you know my skin and my demons.
But I am more than that.
More than my name and my face.
More than skin
and more than my demons.

More than YOUR demons.


(gratuitious click-thru)

What I show is what you want to see. What I share is what understand. What I hide, it's what you can't handle. Face it. We're all liars in our own way. I look like less of a liar, because the truths I tell make me seem so open and so fearless.

But I'm afraid. I'm always afraid.

It's hard to see the next step if the ground I walk on seems to have vanished.
Each step is taken with held breath.

Just praying that there is still ground below me.



HNTbutton

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

these aren't the droids you're looking for

This is the beer they were drinking last night at my bosses house. At least it was one of them. I am not a beer drinker but they had four different kinds that they were drinking. Yes that says Imperial Stout Trooper. I have no idea what KIND of beer it was.







I tasted one of the "Sours." Sour is right, like someone threw up old milk. Ick. I don't drink beer so I have no appreciation for it.

The guys were smelling the beers and talking about the flavor and the aroma and all that. It was entertaining. I did smell the Breakfast Beer. You could smell the coffee, and the chocolate. And then there was the Isabelle, but it wasn't ready to pop yet. What. Ever.

Beer Snobs.

who knew?

Monday, March 09, 2009

you're in the right place baby!!

I like to look and see how people get to my blog via websearches. I get the most from people looking up "Julie Do Ya Love Me" - Bobby Sherman fans, I'm sure.

But recently there was this search term that brought someone to my blog.

"Fuckable women"

Google said it. Google knows all. Don't disrespect the Google.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

While he's away, the HNT's will play.

I would not usually post pics like this here. So don't get offended or whatever.

I'm doing it, cause I sent this pic to my husband while he's away, so I figured it's ok. I think. Whatever.

I've been sending him naughty pictures. Can we say "mixes messages"? I kinda miss him, but I think the longer we are apart, the easier it will get.




you know....

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Hey J-j-jaded.

Am I the only one I know who is pretty ok with the finale of last night Bachelor? It's unfortunate, but you know- some things just shouldn't be so hard. If it's not there, it's just not.

"So you don't want to fight for me?" she says. Well you know- it's too early to have to FIGHT to keep it together. Heartache sucks, but you know- I'm sure she's in the works to be the next Bachelorette- she'll recover.

People are chattering here at work about how many girls he made out with.

Yeah, apparently that is called dating.

Whatever. So he's with the other girl now. Like you never broke up with one person to be with someone else??

Please.

Besides, when you've BEEN married- I believe you know sooner what you can and can't live with. You've already been to the show. There's no point in wasting time with someone that you feel it isn't right with. Not this early.

I say, more power to ya, Jason. Don't live with regrets.


"Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations in to it."~Walter.