HNT- some time on the couch

This is one more from the series from a few weeks ago.

Classes start again this week, so any time I spend on the couch will be studying and writing and all that jazz. 16 weeks baby and I'll have that degree in my hot little hands....

Just in time for Valentines day

The say that sex is not love, but try going without it...

In honor of the upcoming Holiday for all you couples, lovers, and happily married folk, I thought I'd throw out some gift ideas, in case you just don't know what to get for that certain someone...




Before you sigh because you can't afford the glass dildo's- take a peek at this. $35. (5 inches insertable, 4 1/2 inches around at the top.) The handle makes it user-friendly and hey, you can throw it in the dishwasher when you're done.

Ladies, you can buy this for yourself but he will surely enjoy it.



They also have a wide selection for you skinnier gals.. ;)

This is the "Bag of Love." Complete with vibe, lube, plug, love (aka "cock") ring, love (aka "anal") beads and bondage tape. It just screams "Happy Valentines Day baby. Lets get it ON!!!"


And for that man of yours. If you love his tush, let him know. Assuming that you also love his tush in briefs! (One size 28" to 38")




Red Satin Boxers can be found on this page. I'm just linking the whole page cause it's worth a look ladies. But be sure you don't miss the Cock-A-Too.

Hee hee... so now you are prepared. Clickity click click on over and shop till you drop...

just like mom did

I am so sick of potty training. Seriously, folks. I am so fucking annoyed. Danny has pooped in his pants four nights in a row and no matter how often I put him on the potty, or how often I remind him or ask him, he still won't poop in the potty.

Tonight I asked him, and put him on the potty and 20 minutes later, he pooped in his underwear. I was ready to lose my mind!! I put on gloves and undressed him, wiped him and then threw his ass in the tub. COLD WATER! and I cleaned his butt with the cold water. He was NOT happy, but perhaps this negative reinforcement will help. Apparently this worked for my mother when I was being stubborn. Either way, he did NOT like being cleaned off in the cold water, but I've had it!!

The positive reinforcements are not working. It's been almost two months and he's FOUR years old. It's time to get tough with this kid cause he's so damn stubborn and I'm about ready to snap!

HNT- all you need is love

Love is all you need....

godhateswho??

So I was very sad about the passing of Heath Ledger. He will be missed and I think he was a phenomenal actor who would have had a spectacular career.

That said, I absolutely DESPISE these people. How people can be so filled with hate, in the name of God- it truly makes me sick. I agree with the radio dj I was listening to this morning when he spoke about how it would be very fitting for God to smite these people and drop a boulder on them or strike them down where they stand, picket signs and all.

If you really want to read more about them, their website is godhatesfags.com.

ASSHOLES.

The Peace Hat

Gabriel made this adorable hat in school. It's basically a headband that has a dove that is made out of a paper plate. It's his "peace" hat that they made in honor of MLK, Jr. day. He brought it home on Thursday and he's been wearing it for at least 20 minutes every day since then. Yesterday he asked me if tomorrow (today) was a holiday.

me- Yes it is.
Gabriel- It's Martin Luther King Day right?
me- yes, like you colored in your homework
Gabriel- Will he be here?
me- Well no honey, it's not like Christmas, it's just a day that we celebrate a good person.
Gabriel- Where is he?
me- He died, honey.
Gabriel- How did he die? Did somebody shoot him?
me- Yes, how did you know that.
Gabriel- We talked about it in school. Why did somebody shoot him, was he a bad guy?
me- No- not at all. He was a very good man.

(At this point, e-husband and Alex were this exchange. Curious about where it was going.)
Gabriel- Who shot him?
me- A very bad man.
Gabriel- Why did he shoot him? What did he do to make him mad?
me- He wanted different things
Gabriel- Like Spiderman, he wanted to help people, and the Goblin wanted to hurt people?

I was quiet for a moment, wondering how I would explain this to Gabriel. Could I explain to him the hate and ignorance in people's hearts. Would he understand that people hated people for the color of thier skin? Should I even make color an issue, because currently Gabriel understands that some people have different skin color, just like they have different hair color and eye color. The difference is what makes us all special. I looked at the e-husband, unsure what to say next. Gabe was looking at me, waiting for my answer. He is so sweet, so innocent in his thinking. I remembered that it's often adults that teach children how to hate, it's adults that teach children the horrible truths about life. So I smiled at him and said, "Yes honey. Just like Spiderman- but without webs."

He smiled and said, "Do you like my hat mommy?"

I hugged him tight and said, "Yes honey. I really do."

one the verge of being obscene

I'm watching the 100 greatest songs of the 80's on VH1. I love 80's music but at the same time I'm feeling kind of stupid for being only 12 years old when Prince's "Little Red Corvette" came out and I still, at age 36, think the song is about a car.

Move over baby, gimme the keys, I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine.

Ooooooooooohhhhhh, NOW I get it!!

Only in the morning

I had to take this picture off of my desktop.















It's been on my desktop for about a month now, and I have been having dreams about Brad Pitt. Several nights now I have woken up feeling a sense of loss that I don't really know Brad, who I am apparently very close to in my dreams.

In my first dream, we were a bit of an item, although there was no sex in my dream. Just me, bragging about how fantastic it was. There were others, all with him in them, he and I hanging out, being friends, talking, laughing, shooting pool. Yes, I was shooting pool in my dreams with Brad Pitt. We would lay around in my bedroom eating and drinking coffee. Nothing sexual (other than the first dream when I simply talked about it), just me and Brad, hanging out. He was my best friend, Brad, we shared all sorts of private 'best friend' things. He liked chocolate cupcakes and computers and was learning HTML for fun.

Last night, we were in my room. Hanging out in my bedroom- just chillin' and listening to music. Me and Brad. He was talking about his kids, and Angie (yes, he called her Angie in my dream) and how amazing she was and how much I would like her when I finally meet her. We were friends. Me and Brad. Friends. I woke up this morning, feeling almost sad that I WASN'T friends with him because I was clearly so happy having such a good and close friend in Brad.

But this has to stop. I logged into my computer this morning, and saw his picture on my desktop. I replaced his picture with a picture of Danny. I had to.

I don't KNOW Brad. Chances are, I will never MEET BRAD. Even if I did, the chances of him ever hanging out on my bed drinking coffee and talking about his babies are about the same as.... well- him hanging out with me at all. So while I appreciate dreaming about Brad, and having him hang out and spend time with me several nights this month, it has to stop because I wake up and feel sad that it was just a dream.

A girl can only take so much heartache.

my new love....

Sometimes the best things in life are free- sometimes they cost a little bit, but are totally worth it...




This is my new phone. The Samsung U740. It flips open and also flips open with the wide screen and has a full QWERTY keyboard. It rules. I dropped my other cell phone last week, and while it still worked, in areas where my reception is usually so-so, I get nothing. I have insurance so I could replace the old phone for $50, but I was up for a renewal in about 5 months anyway, so I was able to upgrade. I paid $80 for this one, but I would have had to pay $50 anyway to replace the old one- so I FEEL like I got it for $30. I love it. I signed up for mobile web so I can check my email and even BLOG from my phone.

I drive a green minivan, you may want to steer clear of me for a while.

Almost Forgot it's HNT!!

Good thing I took pics last week.
I whipped out the webcam and I took a few pics.



Happy HNT. Go see Os to see who else is half nekkid today!!

The Code

It's interesting when a Code is called here on my floor. It doesn't happen very often because I don't work on a cardiac floor, but occasionally- maybe once or twice a month something happens and a Code is called. Code Blue is the adult CPR code, and code white is a pediatric CPR code. Pink and Purple are for child abductions- I have never heard that one. Some codes have numbers, but I suspect those are for Housekeeping or Security Issues. For those of you who have seen that episode of Grey's Anatomy, I have never seen anything called a "Code Black" although there are codes for voilence and those types of emergencies. They are not paged to physicians and such. All codes are called over the loudspeaker.

First we here an announcement from the unit secretary, all available RN's to whatever wing. That is usually the first clue. At that point, about half of the nurses on the floor drop what they are doing and run to that area. Not walk, run. Usually the nurses on THAT wing are the first to respond, but since you never know, that is why they page the whole floor. Then usually within less than a minute from the first announcement the CODE is called overhead. "CODE BLUE Second Floor South". And then you see house managers, security and others come off the elevator or up the stairs fairly quickly. The crash cart shows up if it isn't already. There is usually somewhat of a crowd outside and inside of the patients room. The patient is assessed, sometimes bagged. CPR is started, sometimes meds are administered or they are quickly moved to another area or another unit.

Crying family members sometimes stand outside the patients room, politely ushered outside while the patients is being cared for.

Panic. Adrenaline. Sometimes it turns out ok. Sometimes a patient has been snowed by their meds and they just need something to kick them back in to response. Sometimes it's a heart attack. Sometime the outcome is good, sometimes it's not so good. Today was good.

It changes the mood here, though. It changes the whole feel of the floor, and it's nice to see people moving quickly for patients and the way that they feel energized and charged, and the dialog between the nurses that happens afterwards. It's usually always an opportunity for education through conversation.

And it's always better to call a code when it's not needed, than NOT to call a code when it is.

Emotional Ramdomness

I am not a collector of things. I didn't care too much about Beanie Babies, or Precious Moments Figurines or things of that knick-knack nature. They collect dust, cost money, and I have no space for things like that. I do however, have a few things that matter and that I will keep regardless. Random things, from not so random people.

Teddy Bears. Strangely, I have 5. It's funny because I never intended to COLLECT them, and do I SEEM like a Teddy Bear person?? But regardless, I have 5.

The one on the right is Barney. He is the oldest. I got him from my step dad when I was really young. Maybe 9? He bought one for his "REAL" daughter and I was upset, because what did that make me? So he also bought one for me. I think it was his first present to me, and really the only one I remember the whole time he was alive. The black one was a gift from Alex for Mothers Day about three years ago. It was kind of an expensive bear from a 10 year old (that he MADE his dad buy for me), but it's very soft and he really thought that I would like it. And I do. The one with the hat, I got from my vacation to Texas to visit my BFF Carrie. She bought it for me at Walmart, and it's just darn cute. The last one was a gift from my sister, to Alex when he was a baby- but he never slept with it or anything, and I liked it. So I slept with it for a while, and now it just sits over my bed.

This last bear cost about $200. That is part of the reason I keep it. I mean, hell, a $200 bear?? It was a gift from an ex-lover. A married one. It's the last and only thing that I have from him. I got rid of every last thing, but I kept the bear. All my kids have played with it, and I don't keep it in any predominant place in my house, but I just won't get rid of it. The bears name is Bonnie, which is short for Trever's last name.

I also have a few other random keepsakes. I have a small collection of bunnies. I think there are 4 of them. Brown ceramic bunnies, that I think were my step dad's. I have no idea why he had bunnies. But my mother gave them to me after he died, so I suspect they were his. I don't know why he had them, or what the signified to him. But I have them now. They are packed in a box, because I don't have anyplace nice to put them. I repacked them whilst cleaning my closet the other day, and I wish I knew which box they were in, because I would like to put a picture up, but I just can't dig through that after I worked so hard to organize it all.

This cute little vase with the silk flowers was given to me from Alex for Mothers Day. It was a project from his day care center when he was 2. There was a cute little poem on a card, that had a dish sponge inside. I don't know if I still have the card, but I still have the vase and these are the original silk flowers, you can see where Alex picked off some of the small flowers. :)



Then there are the roses. During my wedding ceremony, we were each handed a rose, and then he said something nice about two becoming one, and then we put them together and he tied them together. It was very 'unity candle'-ish and very nice. At the bottom of the picture there is a picture from my wedding, and you can see e-husband holding the roses. They have always been displayed in my house since we have been married- drunk, drugs or diabetes. They have never been untied- and never stuck in a box- not even when we've moved from one place to another. I suspect that even if we divorce, I won't untie them, nor will I ever get rid of them. I just can't.

It's funny the things we keep, sometimes without even thinking about why, or what that means about us. What do you keep- and why??

Juliology- another stolen meme

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. I love a good ceasar, with any kind of salad but I will opt for Ranch if that is not available. When I was in high school, Carrie used to always make me go through the salad bar line for her, just cause she didn't like to do it. And she always had me put SO MUCH dressing on the salad it was gross and I didn't eat ranch for YEARS!!

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Taco Bell baby. I had it for dinner tonight.

Q. What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
A. You can sit down at Taco Bell. HA! But I love me some Olive Garden. yummy yummy yummy, I got LOOVE in my tummy.

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 15% to 20% depending on where it is and how the service was.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Cereal. I love cereal. My favorite is Reese's Puffs, but I also like Golden Grahams, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cap'n Crunch (Peanut Butter!) even though it tears up the roof of my mouth!!

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Pepperoni and Sausage with Ranch Dressing and Jalapeno's on the side. Preferably from Pizzamania and made by my favorite Pizza Guy,

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Peanut butter, or butter and strawberry jelly.

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. A picture of Brad Pitt. I turn on my laptop and say, "Hellllloooo lover."

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Three.

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right handed.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. I had my appendix out when I was a senior in high school. I have also had three children removed.

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Genetically, my teeth are trashed. I can't wait to have them all taken away and get new ones.

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. I lifted the couch today, that bitch weighs a lot.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Knocked unconscious? I have passed out a few times, but never knocked or hit my head or anything like that.

BULLCRAPOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. It depends on HOW I was going to die. I would like to give my children the chance to say goodbye, and tell them how much I love them, and tell them not to be afraid.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. It's not my name that needs changing....

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. I prefer dark colors, but I think that bright colors are flattering and I do enjoy wearing red.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Not that I know up, but when I was younger, I stuck a pearl up my nose.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. No, but my cooking has put my husband in the hospital a few times.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Theoretically, yes.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. I've done more, for less.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. It depends. I mean, why is my little finger worth $200,000??

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Probably, but then again if my bloggin was so bad that someone was willing to PAY me to stop, I would probably stop regardless.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Yes. I could totally use $250,000 and if someone really wants to give me money for that, well ha ha on them.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. As long as they don't mind if I throw up later.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. It depends. Does that person need killing? Sometimes, a man just needs killing.

DUMBOLOGY

Q. What is in your left pocket?
A. Nada.

Q. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. A good movie? No. A funny movie, yes.

Q. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Carpet. Ugly dirty carpet.

Q. Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. I stand. My shower is just a standing shower so there is no room to sit.

Q. Would you live with roommates?
A. Not anymore, I have too many kids to have roommates.

Q. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A.Three. I love them, but I don't wear them very often this time of year. In the summer I will wear them if I don't have too much walking to do.

Q. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. The last time I got a ticket but I can't remember when that was. I'm sure I blogged about it though....

Q. Who is number 1 on your Top 8?
A. My BFF, Carrie.

LASTOLOGY

Q: Last friend you talked to?
A: Online? Os. On the phone? Ed.

Q: Last person who called you?
A: E-husband called from the hospital to spread some Saturday night cheer.

Q: Last person you hugged?
A: Gabriel.

Q: Last person to stick their foot in your face?
A: Danny

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: Three.

Q: Season?
A: Seasons? What are those??

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Yes. I have friends that are far away that I wish I could see every day.

Q: Mood?
A: Is "cold" a mood? If not, then lets go with tired, but I'm cold.

Q: Listening to?
A: The TV.

Q: Watching?
A: Overboard. This movie is just fun to watch. ("What? No boom boom?")

Q: Worrying about?
A: Strangely, nothing right now. Tomorrow is a new day though.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: To the living room to remind Alex to take his medication before detention.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: I can't wait until I'm done potty training Danny.

Q: What's the last movie you saw in theater?
A: Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Q: Do you smile often?
A: I think so. I am a people pleaser, so I like to be known as pleasant.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yes I am!! Even though someone once complained to my boss that I was unfriendly and uncooperative. But really I was just annoyed that someone was lazy and condescending. Generally I am a very friendly person. I want you all to love me.

Go ahead- do it.

Another trip to the ER, where Julie gets a little bitchy

I took e-husband to the ER last night. He fell a few days back and was complaining of upper left sided chest pain. It was not crushing, more of a pinching, broken rib kind of pain, to which there is no real treatment, pain meds and such. He did not go to the ER and I did not push him to do so, I bitched for a few days at his constant wincing every time he moved, thinking, you are on massive amounts of pain meds already, shouldn't that help??

I did notice that he was not sleeping, and looking considerable more and more 'ill'- but I did not push him on it after he told me to leave me the hell alone. I only need to be told once, he knows where to go when he needs me.

Last night I had an important work dinner to go to, so of course he had to call me and tell me that he could not breathe. I was a few blocks away, setting my kids down so I took off and picked up him. He looked awful. Very distressed, his breathing was fast and shallow- he looked panicked. Bad bad bad. I rushed him to the ER, calling first to see if they could meet us outside, but she said they were understaffed, so if he could walk, could I bring him in. I did that and he sat down- I gave the admitting gal his info and said, "he can't breathe, he needs to be seen right away."

I did not bring him to the hospital I work at, or the hospital he is usually seen at, I brought him to the hospital that is closest to my house. Can't breathe? Go for the shortest distance, that is what an ambulance would have done. I wait for about two minutes and when nobody showed up to take him back into the room, I leaned back over in front of the admitting rep and said, "Can someone please hurry, my husband cannot breathe."

"We'll be with you in a few minutes."

I looked her dead in the face. There I am, wearing nursing scrubs, listening to my husband gasping for these short breaths. "No- not in a few minutes. He cannot BREATHE. I need someone to be with him right now!" She got up and scurried back, and within another two minutes, the nurse showed up. I was furious. She did not bring a wheelchair, and started talking to him. Asking him how he was, what is was there for. She thought she knew his name. He looked at me, confused and frustrated. I said to her, "Can he sit down first??" She was a bitch. They were angry.

The put him on some oxygen, gave him an IV, started him on fluids and took his blood sugar. It read "Hi"- meaning somewhere over 600. No surprise there really. She immediately said he was in DKA. She looked at me and said, "DKA causes pain."

me- Yes, I know- but it causes abdominal pain. He is having upper left sided chest pain. That is not the norm.

nurse- well he's in what's called "diabetic ketoacid-"

me- I KNOW what DKA is, but this chest pain and rapid breathing is something new.

nurse- well, it causes rapid breathing also.

me- listen. DKA is not something new for us. I am telling you that he may be in DKA, but I know that you don't know that without lab results. His baseline for DKA, and yes- he HAS a baseline for DKA, is abdominal pain, nausea and vomitting. HE doesn't get rapid breathing with DKA. DKA does not cause chest pain in my husband. THIS (motioning violently towards my husband on the gurney) is NOT from the DKA. THIS is an acute onset of something ELSE. I am not trying to be disrespectful, but PLEASE do not discount what I am telling you.

nurse- (pause- looking over at husband on the gurney, shiverying, pale and rapidly breathing) the doctor will be in shortly.

and she left.

He has a pretty severe case of pnemonia. From the broken rib and not breathing deep enough to break the sacs of the fluid that helps carry oxygen and C02 out of your lungs. So the sacs don't break, and the lungs fill up with fluid... phemonia. The doctor tried to chew ME out over the phone about about his blood sugar, as if we are somehow ignorant and completely non compliant. I then explained to her his blood sugar is damn near impossible to manage, even in the hospital. I went through the whole nine yards of his medical background. Assured her that he was no longer drinking and that we are doing what we can with what we have. She said he was very sick, the pnemonia was severe, he's severely dehydrated and she's never seen labs so bad before. "Your husband is very very sick, Mrs e-husband."

me- "yes, I know this."

severe.

She seemed surprised that I was not surprised, but I'm not. It will not get better. I can see that. She told me that he is very high risk for kidney failure. I told her that I know that too. this is not new for me. Again, his condition is severe. I know. A few days of antibiotics, he will be back to his NORMAL sick self. I understand.

"He's so young," she said, "These things happen in patients much much older, but never in someone so young."

me- "Yes, doctor. I know that too."

I wish someone would tell me something I don't know. Some NEW information would be nice.

Sometimes I'm just sexy...

Enough said. Go see Os to see who is getting Half Nekkid!!

Do you know where your spouse is???

What am I doing here, what are YOU doing here????

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.
"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.
(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

Aint love grand???

For the love of geeks.

I know too many people who would think this is a lot of fun. (really, click the video it's Work Safe)
And if you really want to, you can buy one here... (click the saber for the link to Shaper Image)

The guy who did the interview (he was interviewed on a local LA radio station) said that they actual use Star Wars names and such. You can find these guys official website here.

The group photo is classic.

...and part of me thinks this is kind of awesome.

TMI Tuesday #117

1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?
I think I've been true to the the third date rule.

2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be?

- your spouse/significant other
- an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on
- an old/past love
- your best friend

This is a good question. I don't think my husband could make it on a deserted island, and old/past love or the crush could end up disastrous. I think the safe bet would be my best friend.

3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.

I'm more apt to have sex in humidity or heat. I tend to equate rain with cold, and you know I hate being cold. I'm more apt to cry when I'm cold, crying rarely equals sex.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)

Liquor drunk will make me dirty and slutty. The clothes just sort of melt off.
Wine makes me sloppy and silly- but really playful and fun.
Beer just makes me sick, it's not pretty.

5) Who turns you on the most & why:

the activist
the author
the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)
the comedian
the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.)
the model
the musician
the politician
the scientist

Author, comedian, educator, and musician. I love smart and funny- to me that is sexy. And musicians do it for me- by default.

Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?

You know, I had a threesome once when I was about 19- and you know that is supposed to be a big deal- but it just turned out bad. I think I picked the two WORST lays possible and decided to take them both on. yeah- not exactly the fantasy one would expect. Next time will be better. ;)

observations from my vacation

I've been off work for 8 days. Usually on the weekends, by Saturday I am ready to go back to work. The kids usually wear me out and frustrate me fast. Maybe it's the e-husband that bothers me and it's the mix. The last 9 days have actually been more pleasant than not and I think it's because the e-husband has not been here, I have not had to go to work, and I have not had any homework to do. Yes, isn't that brilliant- my life is quite simple when all I have to do is care for my children.

• Last night I put on my ipod and did the dishes since Alex is at his dad's.

Shoop by Salt-n-Pepa.
Whatcha gonna do with a cowboy by Chris LeDeDoux
Mama knows the highway by heart by Hal Ketchum
Past the Point of Rescue by Hal Ketchum

Holy Crap. The dishes are done. Does it really only take 15 minutes to do the dishes by hand??? If I make sure the dishes are rinsed, washing them is a snap. I don't even NEED a dishwasher really.

• I don't like making my bed, but I sure like having it made when I walk into my room. I don't have a fancy bed, just two blankets and a fitted sheet, so all I have to do is pull up the blankets and pile my pillows, it takes two minutes.

• The boys are old enough to sort out their toys into different buckets and they actually enjoy having them separate so they can play with a whole lot of animals at once.

• Alex is lazy and needs to be forced to get some exercise, I have to remember to kick him out of the house once in a while, it's a good idea to 'forget something' at the store, so he can ride his bike to get it for me.

• Daniel likes puzzles and for the most part will play on his own if you set him up with something. Gabriel requires more attention and likes doing things WITH me, like board games and go fish.

• Playdough will keep them occupied for a good hour if I sit with them and make things. Tip: be able to make TWO of everything and the boys don't care if it actually LOOKS like what it's supposed to.

proving that I'm semi-brilliant

Celebrate good times, come on!!!

Ok, so maybe that is a little too much fanfare- but I just found out that I got all B's last semester. 3.0. Overall GPA, 3.2!! For those of you that remember, I am applying for grad school this month, and my GPA right now is what will help determine my eligibility. 3.2 is a good. Not 4.0 good, but definitely better than 2.0.

I was really hoping for a B, but I was expecting a C. I was very unsure of my grade for that last class, the teacher was a tough grader and she wasn't very good at keeping us informed of our grade, so I didn't know where I was going into the final, and I have no idea how I did on my paper (that I thought was crap) and our presentation which was too short, but chock full of information. But I guess I did well enough because I finished with a B. Woohoo!!!

Some people strive for all A's- but I have rarely been able to pull off more than one A per semester. I've never been an A student, and I'm ok with that. They say C's get degrees- and that is true. But B's make me feel like I've learned something. It's a nice line between memorizing everything, and just having a general understanding of the concepts, enough to pick the best answer out of 4. It's not a perfect science, but I just don't have time to memorize everything and really I don't pay enough attention in class to absorb it all the first time.

Either way, congratulate me.

can you repeat that? I thought you said something stupid.

I was in line on campus today and the girl behind me was on the phone. She was talking about her job and such and she said, "Well, it's a doggy dog world out there."

Wait.

Doggy Dog. As in SNOOP Doggy Dog? I did not realize I was listening to her conversation until she said that. Then I realized that she must be one of those people who talks in cliche's and slogans. And also that she was an idiot.

Don't talk in slogans unless you KNOW the slogans!!!!

I am alone in my car...

I am alone in my car right now. I am alone for the first time in eight days. I have not been able to go anywhere without a child in the car with me and half the time I haven't even been able to go to bathroom without somebody knocking out my door. So, the husband is back at the house. So, I am alone right now, which might be the last time for a long time, but at least for two more days without [unclear speech, please listen] go to work again. Anyways to commemorate the occasion. Bye. listen

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it's not funny anymore

I'll admit it. I feel bad for Britney. I feel really sad for her situation because she is clearly in a lot of trouble. She's irresponsible and erratic and now she's a danger to herself and her kids. She's addicted to whatever she's using and it's got her hard. Whatever her drug of choice is, it's got her around the throat and my heart goes out to her because it's a hard and ugly road through recovery even for a celebrity.

E-husband said "She knows better!" but really, I don't think she does. Not right now. I think all she knows right now is probably how to get from one high to the next and struggling to manage the in-between times. She's sick and struggling and it just isn't funny anymore. She's young, and she's a mom. Unfortunately her bottom may be a bit farther down than the events we've seen today, but nobody can rush her there and really nobody can force her to get better in anyone's time but her own. Unfortunately as long as you have more to lose, it can always get worse and I hope that it doesn't. I hold out my best hopes for her recovery along with anyone else who is struggling from the awful disease. She's talented and she's got those boys that need her. Even if she never sings another song, she will always be those boys' mommy and that is the most important thing. I personally think it's time we leave her and her family alone, it's just not entertainment anymore.

This is new, I found...

This is new, I found this program called Jott and I can blog from my cell phone and I can also send e-mails and text messages always from my cell phone. So, if I am driving along and I have to send an e-mail to somebody like my boss or something, I guess I can do that, what I thought would be kind of cool, to be able to blog things from my phone, although however. listen

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I also forgot that I have only 30 seconds so it is going to have to be quick. Anyway, I thought that I did try this and that it could be a kind of cool! It's jott.com. So, if you know me and you get some weird text message from me, that's where this is from. But I am not inviting anybody because I don't want to bug you. Bye. listen

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The joys of the working poor.

I think I need to borrow money from my parents. shit. What a way to start the new year. I don't HAVE to. I am cutting it so incredible close, but I'm not totally sunk yet. I think I will wait until I absolutely have to. My school loans will be here on the 18th. I mean, 16 fucking days from now and I'm fine. I think I can hold off the masses until then if I must. I have $400 of it coming on or around the 12th, and really, THAT is when I'll be sunk, if that doesn't come in. But hey, if on the 12th, I need to borrow $50 well that is ok. Borrowing money from my parents would just be insurance really. But I don't have to do it. I don't want to do it. They do a lot for me, but really it leaves me open for SO much hassle. 30 minutes of lecture about things I already know.

My parents HAVE money, and they do not remember what it's like NOT to have money. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pissy about it. I respect my stepdad's financial sense and that he worked very hard for it- I just don't like the way that 'support' comes with disdain. When I have been in dire need, I have listened to it before. I will take my beating when there is no other option. I have other options though, so I think I will not do it this time. If I REALLY have to later, I guess I can. But I'd rather bounce a few checks and pay extra fees than have to listen to the diatribe from Mr. Highfalute. I could go straight to my mom, but she doesn't work so she feels that it's up to him, so she makes me ask him.

I absolutely have to have better money sense this year. I have the tools, I just don't have the discipline. I always take a small amount of these loans and do something nice for the family. Most of it gets blown on food. I get lazy and not want to cook so we have take out too many nights a week. I get lazy and forget to bring lunch so I eat in the cafeteria too many afternoons. It's wasteful and I need to just be smarter than that so I don't run out. These loans have been my second income for a few years now, you'd think that I would learn how to work with them. However, this is a problem to more than just me. My friends are the same way. Maybe it's just because we all manage our money poorly. Maybe it's because even the extra 10 grand a year doesn't really provide enough income to support a family. Maybe. Maybe I need to more of my own cooking and depend less on my pals Ronald McDonald and Carl Kartcher. Junior.

Here's a new years resolution- More home cooked meals, less take out.

Remember the straw wrappers that used to say "Enjoy life. Eat out more often." hee hee. Did you know McDonald's whole slogan "You deserve a break today" was geared to mom's??

“Probably the best food marketing I’ve seen in all my years was the [1970-74] tagline, ‘You Deserve a Break Today,’” says Rosemont, Ill.-based NPD Group Vice President Harry Balzer. “It captured what was going on in societal changes in the country. When you hear it you think that ‘you’ means ‘me,’ but it doesn’t. The success of that campaign was that ‘you’ meant mom. Mom was going through big changes: She had to be a super-mom, working and raising the family, and the task of feeding the family still fell on her shoulders. ‘You deserve a break today’ changed marketing; the business is about taking care of mom.” - Restaurants and Institutions Magazine

Just a little fun fact.

Letting go

This is my last Holidalies post. Lets recap. This month, I did nothing but study, potty train, and bitch about my husband. Yeah, no wonder I'm bored with this blog. Cause my life is pretty boring lately. I did not make the "Best Of" list this year, which doesn't surprise me. I appreciate those who read me on a regular basis and who tolerate my incessant bitching. I will try to do better in 2008. Maybe daily blogging isn't for me anymore. Maybe my life is just not that interesting now that I'm 'married' again.

I sat home last night, with Alex, watching Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve. I cried seeing Dick Clark. It was heartbreaking and inspiring to see him there. I did not watch last year so I did not know at the time that he also did this last year. His speech was not bad, considering he's just three years out from his stroke. I don't know the details but he was in the hospital for almost two months, which is a long time even for someone with money and probably private insurance if not a personal physician. It made me sad to see his deficits, the tell tale slurring of his speech, and proof of his age finally showing after so many years. I loved watching Dick Clark on TV as a kid. I guess seeing him like this, is yet another reminder that I am getting older and the things I loved as a child will soon be gone forever. I hope they always call it "Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve."

I went to bed along shortly after midnight, but was up this morning, ready to watch the Rose Parade. Danny was watching it with me. He seemed to like watching the marching bands, naming all the instruments that he could identify. Drums! Trombone! Tuba! Saxophone! Trumpet! Flute! Mama, where's the violin?? He watched the whole thing with me.

I have spent the last few days cleaning house. Throwing things away and collecting clothes to give to good will. I have three tubs of clothes. It makes me sad to give the boys clothes away. I know that there will be no more little ones, and that someone else can get good use of these clothes but it makes me sad just the same. Passage of time. It just something else to be sad about. The good things never last long enough. My children are not babies anymore. As much as I want things to change, there are some things I am less ready for.