Just a little Patience

"The key to everything is Patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."--Arnold Glasow.

Growing up there was a sign in my mothers house that said "Nothing worthwhile comes easy." I think I have remembered that my entire life and call back on it whenever I find myself getting impatient or feeling like the struggle for what I want is too much to handle. Waiting has always been something that SEEMS like a good idea in theory, but in practice I have a hard time actually doing it.

I am waiting on a lot of things lately. Things that really ARE worth while-and some days I remember that it's worth it for me to be patient- and other days I just want to rush head first to the next phase of my life- as if I have control over it to begin with. My husband is supposed to be moving within 6 weeks. So far he is "talking about it", but I have no idea what his plan really is. He hasn't started packing anything yet. I am still considering just packing up and moving myself. Just to make sure he is left with no choice. It's harsh, but it seems like his M O is always to do nothing, and leave everyone else with no choice but to 'deal with him'. And my dealing days are over. That's for damn sure.

Lately he has been mumbling about how much pressure he is under. The stress of everything that has 'befallen' him. I did NOT make the obvious comment about how a lot of that is self inflicted, even though I was tempted. I won't be swayed by guilt. It hits me sometimes, and some days I do feel bad- but I know that I am still doing a lot more than most women would have done. I am still taking a soft stance with him when I could have thrown him to the streets with nothing. I am continuing to enable him in a milder way- giving him undeserved some time to get his crap together. I'm not trying to be a martyr about it- but I DO think that my extra effort to be kind make it ok that I really care too much about the stress he's under.

Believe it or not- he has yet to do anything to relieve MY stress.