If there is a heaven...

My Opa died last night. He was in his 90's. I want to say 93... but really I don't know who was keeping count anymore. My Oma died this past December and it shook our family to its core. We knew she was sick and it wasn't a surprise really-but shocking to my family just the same. My grandparents have left behind a legacy of family and love. Moving to Holland after WWII where they met in a concentration camp in Indonesia, the raised thier 4 kids and came to America in the 60's. I remember my mom telling me how angry she was. She was 21 I think. She had no plans of ever leaving Holland. She told me if they had not made her come, she probably never would have left.

So they came to America and thier kids had kids and those kids had kids. I'm first generation American born. I did not get the same time with my Oma and Opa as my older siblings did. And my cousins spent more time with then because they were babysat by Oma. I don't have the same memories. I wish I did. I did not know them as well as some of the others- as far as stories about the past. I have heard the stories that the rest of the cousins have told.

I know my grandparents though, by the lives that they touched. I know who they are because of my Aunt, and how she has so much patience... until the moment that she simply doesn't anymore. I know who they are because of my mom, and how strong she is. How stubborn and set in her ways. However, if she can, there is no limit to what she might do to help someone. I know who they are because my cousins are my immediate family. I know who they are because they taught their children how to work, how to share, how to live and how to love and those children passed those lessons on to us. I know who they are because for all of the dysfunction, as a family unit, I believe we are one of the finest. We love each other unconditionally- and this is the greatest lesson I will ever learn.

I got the call from my mom last night and I was sort of stunned. After Oma died, Opa really didn't want to live anymore- or so my mom told me. The last time I talked to him he said, "oh Julie... nothing is good anymore." It's hard to argue with that.

After being married for 65years to the same person, it's gotta be hard to do what you normally do without that person being there. It's like waking up without an arm. What happened? It was there just yesterday?

So the call today was part shock but really- we knew it was coming soon. He need around the clock care and it was getting harder for him to move around. He was just waiting to go. Now many of my more religious family members will say that he is with Oma now. With his brothers and sisters, as he was the last of his large family to go. If I believed in that kind of thing, I think that would give me a lot of comfort. The thought that Oma was sitting in her chair in her little heaven villa... and all of a sudden appears another chair and Opa is in it. And they just reach out and hold each others hands.

And then Oma says, "Geez Pa- it's about time you got here."

Yes, as absurd as it is- it makes me smile.