I'm trying to help Gabriel adjust. He doesn't understand what's wrong at home, he can't seem to pinpoint what is missing, but he knows that something is missing. He doesn't like to talk on the phone, but he will say goodbye to Alex on the speaker phone. I am not sure if Alex misses us as much as we miss him.
Sarah is leaving on Thursday for Colorado. I know that Michael is struggling with that also. I know what he's feeling and just like he could not help me, I can't help him. I'm trying to put aside any feelings of animosity for him, and be there for him the way he was for me- but I admit, I have not been very good at it. Sometimes it's hard to be a good person when someone needs you, when that someone has hurt you so much. I don't pride myself on being the warmest, most sensitive girl I know- but I never thought I would be cold. Sometimes I see myself going that way. Shutting off to his feelings because I feel that he has shut himself off to mine. He's hardened me, but the only one I'm like that to- is him.
I've been reconnecting with old friends lately. I've been doing that over the past year, I guess. I've found some on myspace and that's fun to catch up. It's wonderful to talk to people who knew me back when- and it makes me wonder if I could ever be that girl again. If I could ever be fearless and a rebel and outgoing and fun, the way I'm told I used to be. I'm trying. I have been hearing stories about me, from the past, when I was in high school- and maybe around 18... and I'm not sure who that girl was- but she sure sounded like she was a blast.
Who the hell is this girl?? and where the hell did she get those trashy ass nails!!!!!!!!
Thanks Robert for this picture- it freakin cracks me up!!!
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