No triple talaq

The triple talaq is a mechanism for divorce which exists in some forms of Islam. It simply consists of the husband saying the phrase I divorce you (Arabic:talaq) to the wife, three times.

Wouldn't that be nice huh??

Well that isn't how they do it here in California. In California when you want to get a divorce you have to gather some papers and go visit a local courthouse, find the right building, which never happens on the first try and then go wait in line. When you get to the window, you find out that you're missing something.

So you go home, or back to work- and get the form you are missing- then go back later that day. There will be about 10 people in line, and someone will have a crying baby. It's not a huge deal, babies cry. Luckily the baby will be cute- so that helps and you feel sorry for the baby. So then you will text your friends about how excited you are- and some chatter about the baby- because you know... by then you just wanna help the mom out and hold and snorgle that cute baby....

So when you get to the front of the line. The excitement overwhelms you and you go up to the clerk and exclaim with great joy, "I'm filing for divorce!"

She looks through you papers as you hold your breath. You make small talk, ask her, "so how was YOU'RE day dear?" You are nice, friendly, sympathetic. Anything for a smile. You worry because she doesn't smile right away- realizing that this woman who is probably underpaid to deal with litigious people all day is what stands between you and your freedom.

Finally a smile, and you actually HEAR the heavens open up. Yes, you hear them.

You will make a joke about how you should be more sad than this- but you can't help yourself. She laughs. And reaches for it. That magical apparatus that you've waited for since the day you realized you deserve more than this marriage had to offer. The stamped. FILED. Then the other stamper with a CASE NUMBER.

Holy shit, you're getting a divorce.

So it's not as easy as saying.

"I divorce you

I divorce you

I divorce you..."

But then again, it's not SO bad...