If you scream into cyberspace and nobody is logged on, does it make a sound?

The problem with being a blogger/ twitterer/ attention whore is that everything is public. The internet is a perfect platform for me to BE an attention whore without having to annoy the people around me. People can CHOSE to tune in to my blog or my twitter stream and watch the magic (ie: the trainwreck). They can do it with interest, disdain or pure voyeristic delight.

I say that it's a problem though, because I feel compelled to do most things in public. Changes in my life, in my relationships, issues with my kids, my family- it's all out there. There are few things I consider off limits. (usually regarding negativity towards people I love but maybe I'm annoyed with at the moment) However when it comes to ME and my ongoings- there are some who know all I divulge, and that is usually a LOT.

Besides all the drama with my husband, my current relationship is going through a moment of upheaval. It's exhausting and sad. So what do I do? I blog about it. I blog about the break up- the stress, the emotions. I twitter my sad state of being and am comforted by the outpour of friendship and support from my 'friends'.

I've been warned about living my life on line. Having relationships in public. It makes it harder when things go wrong- but in some ways it makes me more aware of how I behave. I refuse to slam my loved ones but I also refuse to stay quiet and hurting. Grieving outloud is how I do it. I don't have a local group of girlfriends who meet for lunch and or congregate on my bed for a heartfelt chat over wine. This is NOT Sex and the City.

More like Sex and Social Media.

So I grieve outloud. I reach out for my friends who return my call with virtual hugs, text messages, IM's, DM's and naked pictures (ok, I haven't gotten any naked pictures YET...). I put my heart out there to my world and I'm ever grateful that people are listening.

If I'm not going to break down on line, why break down at all??