When I was a Freshmen in HS, I met Carrie. She introduced me to Christie, and Abigail. Well, I think she introduced me to Christie. Definitely Abigail. This was Freshmen year and for the next three years the three of us were BFF's.
Sort of.
There's always a weird dynamic in girl groups. Rarely is everyone equally friendly with everyone else.
Carrie and me
Christie and me
Christie and Abigail
Carrie and Abigail
see what's missing??
Carrie and Christie
Abigail and Me
What came between us?
Hmm, what do you think???
It was more than that really- sometimes it was temperament, personality, and sometimes just jealousy. Who knows really- however it was always sort of there. Of course though, we all spent lots of time together. As many of the whole group as possible. The other three girls were in choir, and I used to go to EVERY choir concert to watch and support. We supported each other and we were there for each other and did the best we could to get along, for the sake of the group.
There were guys, and fights... and fights over guys.
Gossip, backstabbing... and crying.
By senior year, we had somewhat outgrown the friendship it seemed. Christie and I remained close but really the rest of the 4some had somewhat dismantled and gone separate ways. Maybe the reason I have so few memories of my senior year, is because I didn't share it with them. I remember once telling Carrie that she's just someone I used to be friends with. She told me that it was probably the most hurtful think I'd ever say to her. She's probably right.
After graduation, Carrie and I reconciled and have remained best friends. Christie and I faded off and on, more off than on- over the next 20 years. Abigail nobody really heard from until a few months ago. I think she and Carrie had a falling out of sorts a year after graduation.
Abigail and I have been corresponding via Facebook for the past few months I guess. It's been nice, really nice. 20 years and that relationship has come full circle and really I can't really remember the reason we didn't get along. I mean, other than fighting for Carrie's attention... oh yeah, and the one guy... dumb.
Looking back, it's all kind of foolish.
Abigail is going to be in town next week. We are going to get together. Get together with our kids, and then just us- hang out, have some drinks... Girl stuff. I really can't wait. It's so important for me to heal old wounds.
High school is a wound for all of us- that much I know. A reunion, of sorts, would be healing for all of us I think.
The 20 year reunion of our high school is coming up at the end of the summer. Abigail is going to be there, and I will be there too. Christie and Carrie are not coming. I wish they were. It would be great to get an updated picture. It would be great to know that the troubled water really IS under the bridge.
It would be great to embrace my friends. To laugh with them and be in that safe place. I don't know why these types of things are so important to me. Maybe I read too many books or watch too many movies- but I don't want the next time that the 4 of us are in the same place to be some tragedy. It's great for the movies, but nothing I want to really experience. Who knows, maybe it wasn't as important to the others as it was for me. Maybe the other girls just don't care or have lives that are so full that they don't need to revisit those days. Maybe it just meant more to me than it did to anyone else. I don't know.
I just wish... I wish that we could all be together. Not the high school reunion, the cliques and the prom with booze and blood pressure medication, but my friends.
The 4 of us.
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