Lost for words

I sent out Easter E-cards this year. I hate that I didn't take the time to buy or make them. I used to make cards with rubber stamps etc. It was a business that I did. I loved it. I loved being creative, and going to peoples homes and sharing that with people. I was good at it too. I stopped because I didn't have the time to do the workshops, and I eventually stopped having time to even stamp. It burns me to spend $3 on a card because I know that I can create something cute, creative, and sometimes even quite beautiful for alot less, with the things that I already own- but I don't have the time (or the space) anymore. Now I will send e-cards, because it's easy and and I do pay for the Blue Mountain account annually. So I send ecards to all my friends for every holiday. But every time I do, I feel guilty for not having the time to make something, because everyone that I would send a e-card too- I truly care about enough to sit down and create something if I had the time to do it.

If I buy a card- it's usually because I am going to actually SEE that person, perhaps give a gift- or if I really want to say something. When it's for someone I love- and I want to say what I can't express in a few short sentences, I have a card buying test: If the card makes me cry, that's the one I buy. It's silly I guess- but it's how I know that it says what I want to say, because sometimes, I just don't know how to express myself quickly.

How do you just say "I'm sorry" when you are too sorry for "I'm sorry."

How do you just say "Happy Birthday" when you are more than just happy that someone is alive and in your life.

How do you say "I love you" when it's so small compared to what you really feel???

How do you say "Congratulations and Good Luck" when you really want to say "Don't Go."

Sometimes the words just don't come out right when I start to write them down. And what I end up writing is stupid and doesn't come close to what I really want to say- so I let the card say what I want to say- and I simply sign my name.

So for those of you that got the E-card, please know that I do care, and I do want to say so much more than "Happy Easter" I want to tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life. That I wish you so much more than a happy spring... that I pray for you often...that I hope your kids find eggs filled with jellybeans and quarters, and that the Easter Bunny brings you Flowers and/ or Barbeque Tools, as well as Marshmallow Peeps (the bunnies AND the chicks). I hope that I can see you soon so I can hug you and tell you how glad I am to see you. And that if I had the time to go to the store and pick out a personal card for you- I would have cried when I found it because it would have said exactly what I wanted it to say, but I just couldn't find the words.

Happy Easter....

julie