I don't get this... I have heard speakers talking about this idea. When you don't like someone, pray for them, that they get all the things you want- or all the things they want. And I don't understand the concept of this.
It's rare that there are people I simply don't like. There are people who I don't care for, who I prefer not to be around, but very few that I have gotten to know that I can day that I really don't like. I work VERY hard, like most good Al-Anon's to make sure that everyone likes me- and I have a hard time when I'm faced with people who simply DON'T. At my old job there was a woman who was a dear woman who most people got along great with, but she just didn't like me- no matter WHAT I did. In the end, I just had to give up, but to this day I would walk the other way if I saw her- because I think I would still try to be nice to her to figure out why she dislikes me so much.
I have a similar situation at work now. There is a woman who I simply HAVE to work with, my job requires her cooperation- and no matter what I do- I'm wrong. No matter how I go about asking for things, I find a way to piss her off. And today we had a run-in, and she was extremely rude to me, in front of other people. She pulled a total attitude with me, and I just felt really abused over it. Abused. I don't think that there is anything I can do to smooth this over now. She CLEARLY has a problem with me, and what I am asking of her- but there is no way around it. My job requires her to do her job- and we both get paid to work, like it or not. She does not have to like me- although it would make my life (or my conscious) easier if she did. All I ask for is some cooperation and perhaps some professional courtesy, and today I got none of that.
I did talk to my manager about it, which I also did not WANT to do- but you know, I can't really do anything more in this situation. I have tried to be as nice as I can, almost apoligizing for making her work. But I really can't just sit back and allow her to treat me this way. So I called on my boss, who I would not want to be on the wrong side of, to step in and help me. I feel awful for doing it- but I deserve to stand up for myself because I deserve a good working environment- and this woman is making my life hell now. But I do feel bad, I feel really crappy because I perhaps I'm more comfortable with this woman treating me bad, than getting her in trouble.
So anyway, why should I pray for her? What is the purpose of praying for someone I who I may or may not like, but who clearly dislikes me. What is the purpose of that??? Anyone....? Am I supposed to pray that she has some change of heart and stops acting this way, or is it just about doing the opposite of what you are thinking??? Is it about replacing anger and frustration with whatever warm and fuzzy feelngs prayer provides??? I don't know. Prayer is something I'm still kind of new at. So if you can share with me the reasons for this, give me some insight. Until then, I will act as if..something else I am told to do in the program. (kind of like, fake it till you make it...)
I'm getting ready for bed, and I am going to take a moment to pray for her- because that is what I'm supposed to do, And we'll see how I feel, and how things pan out when my boss talks to her. perhaps that I what I should be praying for. That she makes if out of that conversation ok....
About Me
- Julie
- Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.
4 comments:
You should pray for her because she obviously has some need in her life. Maybe her need is God. Maybe her need is self-esteem. If you pray for someone else, especially someone you have trouble with, it makes you more empathetic. It causes you to think about their needs and it gives you compassion to their situation. You may never know what their situation is, but you begin to think about things that could be wrong. Maybe she's sick, or even worse, has a sick child, and she takes her frustrations out on someone else. And, if nothing else, maybe she needs God's intervention in her life.
Pray for God to soften your heart towards her. For Him to give you patience with her. For Him to open your eyes to why she does what she does. This is not easy, but as the anon above posted, maybe there's something in her life making her the way she is that you just don't see right now.
i remmember learning in psychology that, you should expect around 30% of the population to not like you, and if your trying to get 100% of the population to like you, well your just not being real.
people just don't always like you, and thats one of those things me as a co-dependents found difficult to except, cos iam so nice.
from what your saying your not the one with the problem, just be more assertive, say what you mean to her, just don't be mean. if shes not responding to you trying to make her like you, then stop.
once you stop caring, she may even like you.
anyway i think your great.
I always include my enemies in my prayers. I pray that birds shit on them while they're sitting outside having lunch...
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