Progress...not perfection

This is exactly where I am today... it's all progress.

Last Monday I shared about my disaster of a house. Well, I have been pretty good about cleaning this week. I got the kitchen cleaned Monday and the living room on Tuesday. My bathroom was cleaned, sort of. The trash was picked up, the laundry is off the floor- and all the empty bottles of hair product, lotion, face cream, old eye shadow etc. is thrown out. It still needs to be wiped down, mirrors cleaned etc. But that will happen this week. I'm in no rush.

I made it a point to do dishes every day, except Sunday- and I came home from school tonight and at first glance, it looked like the return of the mess. I sighed, loudly-because after a long day at work and then school, I hate coming home to a mess. So I put my kids to bed- and got to work. Suprisingly, it really only took me 20 mintes and my kitchen is clean again. Like REAL people. My counters are wiped down, the dishes are done, my sink is shiny. Fucking shiny!!! It feels fan-fucking-tastic. So much so that I pointed it out to my husband, who was not immediately offering up any praise for it. "Looks good huh??" For those of you who know me, the fact that my kitchen has been clean for 7 days, (or 20 minutes away from clean) is a big accomplishment for me. I am admittedly lazy when it comes to housecleaning, well, not lazy, just indignant.

I have three weeks left of school and I have officially made it through my first universtiy semester.

AND, that woman I have been struggling to get along with...she and I had a few laughs today. I did my best to be as NICE as I could to her- and she pulled through for me and got me what I needed. Also I did find out the following day that she is going through some struggles with her family- so even though I had no idea what for at the time, I am glad that I prayed for her- because apparently she needed it. It did open my heart to her, a bit, and helped me to see her as a person, a woman, a daughter, and not just a co-worker who was pissing me off. So thank you to those who commented on that- and to D-man, for making me laugh about it.

So anyway, in Program, we say Progress, Not Perfection. And while some people, who I will not mention, use this slogan as an excuse to continue to act like douche-bags, for me- I try to think that it's ok that things are not exactly how I want them to be. My apartment is not super clean, and I would probably still not have people over just yet, but if someone showed up unannounced, I could say 'excuse the mess' and let it go. That is progress. It's good enough.

And today, that's good enough for me.

Gratitude List:

1. Clean Kitchen
2. Kids went to bed with minimal fuss
3. I went to a meeting on Sunday, and even though it was not the 'best meeting' I could go to all week, it did help me get back in focus.
4. My friends, who are awesome.
5. My brother is safe in the states for another week.
6. On Friday night, I took too much medication and my husband put me to bed, carried me to bed and changed my clothes and everything. It was very nice of him to do that- and not leave me on the couch. So I am grateful to him for that.
7. My sponsor for not giving up on me, even though I am not giving my program the priority it deserves, and for not giving me crap about my reasons.
8. The 12 steps.