Mothers Day

To my friends who are moms:

I have been thinking alot this past month what it means to be a mom. The things that we go through and the struggles we face. I have so many wonderful women in my life who I have learned so many things from. So many that have inspired me and in my mind, in my heart, my friends are a part of me, and I a part of them.

I always wanted to write a book about me and 4 of my best friends. They are different women who are only connected through me, and who only know of each other by name and perhaps a few chance meetings. My sister, my best friend since high school, my best friends since kindergarten, and my best friend since birth practically (who I have not spoken to in many years, incidentally). Even now when I think of the 5 of us, I think of how drastically different our lives are, and as women, friends, wives and mothers- we have so much knowledge to offer.

But spreading out my circle, I can see that all of my girlfriends have something amazing and wonderful to offer.

We have struggled together. We have struggled with having babies. We have safrificed alot to get pregnant, we have gone thru procedures and tests and pills and calendars- calculated our ovulation period, asked our husbands to give 'samples'. We have cried over pee sticks, sitting in the bathroom on the phone to each other, "There's two lines!" always crying, sometimes for different reasons. We complained to each other about sciatica, strech marks, cravings, and moodswings, having to buy maternity underwear, nursing bras, and pants with 'the panel'. We laughed together, and cried together- held each others babies in our own hands, holding them so close to our hearts and loving them as much as we love each other.

We have held each others hands, one of us in labor, the other one supporting. Both of trying not to laugh while the woman down the hall is screaming blood murder as if she is giving birth to a tire, and not a 7 pound child. We have fed ice chips, and wiped our sweaty brows, talking about how beautiful the baby is. We have taught each other how to swaddle, how to nurse, some good tips on burping, a few nursery rhymes, and about the magic of the 'boppy pillow', we have shared recipes, secrets, and baby clothes. We have called at 4AM, both of us up, nursing. We have figured out that just a little bit of cereal in the bottle will NOT choke the baby, and WILL make him sleep a little longer.

We have learned, and laughed over the knowledge that nursing one baby while spoonfeeding another is not only possible, but sometimes a necessity. We have given advice about the best babyfood, the best diapers, the best wipes, and the best diaper rash cream. We have oooh and aaahed over thousands of baby pictures. Here's one of her sleeping in her chair, here's one of him sleeping with his dad, here's one of her sleeping in her bed, here's one of him sleeping on the couch.

We have loved thier fathers, learning that our life is not whole without them. We have left thier fathers, knowing that sometimes the best we can do for is run for our lives. Sometimes we married them because it was the right thing to do, sometimes we left them, for the same reason. We have cried over bassinets, and cribs overwraught with emotion. Joy, sadness, regret, guilt. We have done the very best we knew how.

We have admitted, sometimes only to ourselves that we were not up to the task. That we could not take another day of tantrums, another sleepless night, another nursing session, another 'accident'. We have been viciously protective, and sometimes dangerously careless. We have gone home crying to our own mothers.

We have been through firsts together. First teeth, first haircuts, first sickness, first emergency room visit, first ear infections, first surgeries. We have shared our joys and fears and supported each other with the only words that really matter, "I understand."

We have struggled, and been there for each other. We have given advice, and at times had to admit that we did not have any good or easy answers. We have held our children close, and we have let them go. We have shared the most amazing thing we will ever experience as women, we have talked about it all, at length and in great detail- the changes in our lives, our attitudes, our body, our sex drive, the shape of our breasts and the size of our feet.

We are forever changed- each of us someone different from the next, many of us, barely a shadow of the girls we used to be. Separated by our experience, and connected by our mutual experience.

My friends, the many women I have spoke about- and you know who you are. You have inspired me, taught me, and loved me. You have shared my life, and helped me love my boys as well as love myself.

Happy Mothers Day!!