My life and myspace.

So I'm done with school for the semester!! Finally. Finals took three weeks, I thought I was going to go crazy, but it's done for the summer and I can't tell you how much better I have slept in the last three nights being done with it. I am not taking any summer classes since my son is moving in June and I want to be around to hang out and spend time with him.

So yes. My son Alex, is moving with his dad when school is out. To North Carolina. It was a really really REALLY tough decision to make, but in the end, I think it will be good for him. I can't imagine what it's going to be like, having him so far away- and I think I'm kind of in denial about it. My step daughter is also moving this summer, to Colorado with her mom and step dad. So my husband and I are losing our two oldest kids this summer, far too early. Way earlier than we ever thought that we would. It is actually helping us become a little more of a couple. We have common misery. We struggle with supporting the other person anymore- but right now- we both seem to be going through the same thing- so it helps. He is the only one who I can really understand what I'm going through, because we are BOTH losing our kids. It's not just me, or just him. This is something that is happening to our family. And unlike things that have happened to our family BEFORE, it's not the fault of one person, it's just life. And we are trying to work through it together the best way we know how.

I got a myspace page. I have no idea why. I had a profile so I could search and look for my friends who had one, so now I have one and my friends daughter helped me set it up. The song I have on there rocks, except it's got bad language so turn your speakers down. "Crazy Bitch" is a good song, even though it's vulgar and kind of degrades women. It still has a nice groove to it, and kind of makes you want to dance. So forgive me for having bad taste, but I like it anyway. It's kind of like Baby's Got Back- you can't help but like it and want to dance to it, even though it's kind of tasteless and tacky. Anyway, if you have a myspace page and you want me to add you and I don't exactly know you by name, tell me you know me from here, and I'll be glad to add you- but I keep getting these creepy friend request emails from guys who want to know how "HOT" I am. Yeah, losers... I want to deal with you, sure. But I will assume that the readers of this blog are decent minded human beings who are twisted enough to handle some vulgarity and some offensive jokes. And if you are wondering about my "Headline", it's from Dane Cook who is a comedian who I just love to death and makes me laugh until my sides hurt.

So now that school is done, and I'm less committed for a while- I'm hoping to start going to meetings again. Get back into my program, perhaps balance myself back out. But I'm happy lately. I'm feeling ok. I am having fun in my life right now, and trying not to let every little thing break my spirit. I'm going to be losing alot, giving up alot, in the upcoming months. I don't know how I'm going to handle it all. My doctor put me on some antidepressant/ antianxiety meds. It's about time somebody paid attention to the chest pains I've been having for years. The are helping, I guess. The anxiety/panic attacks are less severe and less often. They help me sleep at night- by the end of the day I am DEAD TIRED- and it's hard for me to stay up too late. During the day I feel like I have a little more energy. So that is a plus.
I can't complain about much right now. Life isn't perfect, but it sucks less than it has in the past.