How NOT to Ruin Your Life

I came across an article in Yahoo! Finance called How Not to Ruin Your Life. I didn't read the article, but the headline immediately envoked a response in me. "Yeah, if I only had an ARTICLE to tell me what not to do."

Would I have read it anyway? I spent most of my formative years reading magazines and watching my older siblings and watching TV shows and movies that were probably too 'mature' for me. I am not sure if what I retained from it helped me: A crazy boy will burn your house down if he loves you enough. Don't step on the fish that look like a rock. "Doin it for Johnny" will get you shot in the streets. I certainly didn't listen to my mother, at least not enough- and I didn't heed warnings from Dear Abby, or even Tween 12 and 20. Then again I don't remember if any of it really addressed many of what I've gone through.

How would I have not ruined my life?? Maybe I would have not dated my first husband. I hired him for God's sake. Then I dated him (first mistake), got pregnant (three months later), married him- and divorced him. hmmmm.

Maybe I would have stayed single longer, even though I am not good single. Left to my own devices, I'm dangerous. I admit it. I'm more independent when I'm IN a relatively secure relationship than when I'm single. It's one of my less attractive traits.

Maybe I would have not been so silent for so long about my husbands drinking. Maybe I would have gotten help for myself. Maybe I would have walked before I even found out about the drinking. I had enough red flags, even before the drinking became obvious. Maybe I would have postponed the wedding when I had doubts about his drinking. Maybe I would have left when I figured out what it meant to be an alcoholic. Maybe I would have left after the first year, or the second. Maybe I would not have gotten off the pill. Maybe I would not have had the third child. maybe maybe maybe....

Looking at my life now- yes, I've gone through a lot of crap. But you know, maybe I'm a better person for it. Maybe I'm not so cocky. Maybe I have more respect for people who struggle with thier marriage. Maybe I have a different respect for myself. Perhaps I just realize that I can't change the bad without taking away the good. And while there has not been a LOT of good- there has been enough. It's too late to turn back now, and it's foolish to think of what might have been. I'll bet that it could have been worse, it really could have.

I guess my life isn't ruined really. Just a bit twisted. And really, there is only one mistake that I would change if I could. Just one.

I'd have taken better care of my teeth.