The trouble with detachment

The trouble with the idea of detachment is that you let go of what is not yours to control. If you have having issues with someone behavior, the most you can do is voice your thoughts or needs- and then allow the other person the dignity to make thier own decision as to what thier next action will be. Detach from the situation because it is no longer yours to deal with. Did I lose you?? Sometimes I lose ME in that scenario.

So if someone has said or is behaving in a way that I find unacceptable- I can only control my response to it. So I say, "hey that's not cool and I don't want to be around this." and then I walk. I stap back, I leave the situation alone because I cannot CONTROL the actions of the other person- I can only control my own. So I detach with love, or in some cases with hate, but either way- I detach. I let go of the results and my side of the 'street' is clean because I have not manipulated, lied or tricked to get my way. I simply tie my message to the balloon and let it go.

The problem with letting go of the control, is just that. I NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL. I find it hard to leave the results up to someone else because then there is a greater chance that they will not be the results that I want. If I still retain a sense of control, I do not have as much fear. Fear is what we go through when we don't have control. And I am not good at relinquishing control. All these years in Al-Anon and I still can't get that 'detach and let go of the results' thing down. It's not in my blood.

Damn I'm tired. I need to put my misery away for one day and see how tomorrow turns out.