Letter to my best friend

Dear Carrie:

I really meant it when I asked if you could come out and just take care of me for a while. I know you would if you could. I cant think of anything more comforting than an unjudging person sitting next to me and holding my hair back through the emotional vomit. I know when I'm a mess, and I know when I need to come home again. If my mothers house wasn't full of people, I'd probably camp out there until the storm is over.

I sometimes wonder if our lives might have been different if we lived closer together. If you had never left California- or if I had moved to be closer to you. I can't tell you how many times I thought about packing up and leaving. I think the only reason I'd ever want to live in Oklahoma was because you were there.

It makes me sad that our kids don't know each other. That they didn't grow up sort enmeshed in each others lives the way my brothers friends/ kids did. They are all close in age, both 'sets', and I wonder how they could have been different had they been in each others lives. How we might have been different. Its funny how our lives have reflected each other- even from such a distance. That we are in different careers in the same field. It's ironic that we have spend our lives together but have spend probably less than a 1/2 percent of those years in each others physical company- but you'd never know it.

While I always considered myself the 'wilder' of us, I know that you were always the strong one- the strength in my corner. Now, before I get too 'wind beneath my wings' on you- I hope you know that I have always knows that I have a home in your home. That I have a safe haven from any storm and that no matter what, you will always accept me, my kids, and all my bullshit without question. You've always been my safe call. For that, I'm ever grateful. I hope that I've been the same for you and that you have never felt taken for granted.

I know that if I showed up with my kids and my cat, a bottle of cheap wine, some rotel and a deck of cards- I'd be home.

Many years ago we talked about taking an anniversary trip to celebrate 25 years together. I think we should still do that in a few years. We should bring the kids, rent a house by the water and just celebrate, cook, drink and play cards. I can't wait to see you again, my friend. I know I will soon.

love,
julie

(I'm going to be writing a letter every day for 30 days). Check back every day- or see this post to see the list of who I'm writing letters to. If you want to play along, let me know!!