So I have asked the D-Man to write something and lighten the mood around here, cause I check his blog religiously- and I wanted to do something damn cool and modern.
I'm in the middle of midterms and unfortuately not fairing too well so far. More on that later... and now- I present to you, the D-Man!!!
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You know how some countries have bears or eagles or tigers or dragons as their national mascot?
No, not the fruit.
Which is actually originally from
I mean the bird.
It’s small, fat, flightless, and too scared to come out during the day. Probably because it knows it’s endangered…
I’m not sure what that particular feathered symbolism says about my nation.
To be honest, I think I’d rather have a kiwifruit as a national mascot. At least people can choke to death eating Kiwifruit.
Cool.
The non-fruit kiwi does have a HUGE
Beak, though.
Which it uses to terrify snails and assorted bugs.
That’s the problem with
We don’t really have any dangerous wildlife here.
And I reckon you’re not living life on the edge unless you can wake up in the morning and leave your house and risk getting mauled by a cougar or a dingo or an elephant or a rabid koala bear.
Or the odd poisonous snake or spider.
I guess that’s why NZers invent stupid things like bungee jumping and jet boating and electric fences. To compensate for the not-so-wild and dangerous wildlife.
That said, we do have this one bird, an alpine parrot, known as the Kea.
It’s a vicious little mutha, with a reputation for ripping cars apart with its sharp beak.
In fact, its reputation is so bad, that the organisers of a vintage car rally held here last month had to hire Karate experts to fight the birds and keep the vehicles safe.
If we have to have a bird as a mascot, then surely that would be way cooler than a fat little Endangered Species List bird that can’t even fly.
I will say this for the kiwi (bird) though:
It is very nice and juicy and flightlessness makes for an easy catch..
You can really taste the endangeredness. Goes nicely with a few slices of Kiwifruit.
And it’s almost as good as eating panda, or a baby dolphin….
Yum.
9 comments:
I have to say that was pretty hip and cool! You know you wake up everyday, put your 2 feet down on the floor and think what can I learn today????? Today I learned about Kiwifruit and Kiwi the bird! Thanks D-Man.....
No probs. Also, if you throw endangered birds into an earth oven, then you don't have to worry about plucking them as the feathers just fall off. This trick works particularly well with bald eagles...
(From memory, the kiwifruit was so named because it supposidly resembles a kiwi egg. Which, incidentally, are delicious scrambled).
I was just thinking about kiwis yesterday. Trying to remember if it was a fruit or a bird and if NZers are referred to as kiwis. And if that is derogatory or not. I can see it would be from your perspective. Yeah, I'd be upset if people around the globe refered to Americans as Bushies, that's for damn sure. That would be enough to send me to live in NZ and become the fourth person on the beach.
Excellent post here at this cool blog.
I thought the Kiwi Bird was rather cute!
Yum, indeed. I haven't had the time to blog around lately on other sites. So glad I caught this one. When life "sanes" out a bit, I'll be back.
Ciao for now chica...
Teri
So a Kiwi eating a Kiwi with slices of kiwifruit sounds deliciously cannibalistic.
Maybe that how you can scare away the immigrants? Kiwis have resorted to cannibalism and are looking to expand their diets. And Americans taste like chicken.
In Chinese, kiwifruit are called Drunken Monkey Peach, cos in the wild they fall off the vines when ripe, ferment, and get eaten by monkeys.
As US comedian Greg Proops said when here, "Your kiwi is an amazing bird. From it, you get bacon, fruit AND shoepolish!"
(we have "Kiwi" brand bacon and shoepolish)
D-man, you're going to need an agent with all this guest blogging. I had a friend just telling me of her vaca to NZ and how there were no dangerous or wild animals. They went rafting and bungee jumping and all that stuff. Good stuff.
*waves to jules*
Another 30 something (ok almost 40) mom with three kids salutes you.
G.
Jules-
Good luck on your midterms, u go girl! D-Man, very entertaining guest spot here on Jules's blog! I can say now that I know more about NZ and its wildlife! Its such a beautiful country, and to me the greatest gift NZ has presneted to the world is Peter Jackson and the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Wow!!
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