I have been emailing links to The Panda Cam all week. It's just so darn cute. I didn't think I gave a damn about the Panda's or at least why it was world news, but you know, I find myself spending a lot of time watching that baby and mama.
So I have been just fried lately. Feeling overwhelmed and apathetic and like I just can't keep up with my life, not cause I'm so busy and SO important, but just cause I don't have the mental energy to give everything enough attention, so I'm not giving ANYTHING enough attention. I have been absent from my friends, subpar in my work, barely dedicated to my education. I feel like all the balls are going to hit the floor soon. I need to give myself some breathing room- and allow myself the opportunity to do A FEW THINGS right, instead of doing EVERYTHING wrong. One day last week I told my boss, "You know- I just don't think I can disappoint anyone else today- so you are going to have to give me break."
I've decided to make some changes in how I manage my time- and I think it will help me feel less overwhelmed. It's hard to back off of my commitments- even if it's just a few of them. I feel like I am failing. Like I couldn't cut it- and that people are going to say, "well, good for you for knowing what's best" but then be THINKING "I KNEW she would break under all this pressure."
I guess it's my time to lose it. I've been asking for quite some time now, when is it going to be ok for me to fall apart, when is it MY turn for the emotional breakdown? Apparently, the time has come.
Bring on the booze,
and the hot 21 year olds....
Mama's havin a meltdown.....
About Me
- Julie
- Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.
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