Analyze this...

::Bitchy rant alert::

I was going to make some pudding; one for the family and one for the night shift at work- however, that husband of mine decided to eat the whole box of cookies that I needed. So I guess the family doesn't GET the pudding. He ruined it for the class. Yes, I could go and get another box of cookies, but you know- it's the point. What gave him the right to eat the cookies I had saved for something that would have been for the whole family. And really- a WHOLE box of vanilla wafers???

It amazes me how he behaves.

I am absolutely OVER listening to him complain about how he doesn't feel well. I wouldn't feel well if I ate as much as he does, and lets not forget that his stomach doesn't digest food fast enough, if at all. So chances are- sometime last night he threw up a box of cookies, two frozen dinners and ice cream and a large tub of popcorn from the movies. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?

Yea, no.
I really really don't.

He doesn't try to manage his health. I have no sympathy for him in this.

I am certain that nobody in this house really cares that its my birthday. Everyone is concerned with their own wants, and nobody really gives a crap about me. I'm just the family paycheck.
This sucks.

When I leave for my trip, he will expect me to leave him some money for food and such. I suspect he will end up using it on fast food and other crap. I will make sure there is some food in the house, but I'm not leaving him with much. He's wasteful and selfish.

Ugh- I really cannot complain, this is the life I chose. Then again, this is my blog, so you know I can bitch here- I'm not bending anyone ear. Sometimes I can't remember why I made the decisions I made. What frame of mind was I in when I decided that all of this was ok? When did doing the right thing get confused with complacency and being a doormat?

I do this every year around this time. I re-evaluate my life. Where is it going? Am I living the life I want or at least living my life FOR the life I want? Am I surrounding myself with the right influences? Am I living a lie?- and why? What's the benefits of my current situation? What are the liabilities? Which is greater? What changes can I make- and at what cost?

What can I do to make sure that I'm not living a life that I know I will regret?

I already know my first response answers, but of course, it always involves more than that. Data is raw facts, the analysis is where you find the real answers. Perhaps this year, the real answers will be different.

I don't know anymore.