25 things

I know I know... I've done these a few times, but my cousin tagged me and I just never say no to her cause she never asks for anything. I'm gonna do it here on my blog and not Facebook cause I need something to post here anyway and I'm not gonna tag anyone cause if I tagged you, you probably did it already. So here's my 25 things that maybe you did or did not know about me.

1. I cry at movies. A lot. I cried watching Bolt, and today I cried at the end of Rocky II. I cry more over movies and TV shows than I do about real life.

2. When I do cry about real life, I find it really hard to stop and I will cry on and off all day.

3. I still cry about my husband, more often than I care to admit, but he doesn't (and won't) know about it.

4. I starting blogging three years and 4 months ago. The blog was dedicated mostly to my journey in Al-Anon.

5. I have written more than 1500 blog posts between all the blogs I write and write for and there are people who have read every word I've ever written- or at least come very close to it.

6. To my knowledge, my husband has never read anything that I've written nor has he taken an interest in doing so. Probably a good thing because I tend to be seen quite often in various stages of undressed.



7. I was a dancer when I was younger. I've never loved any hobby or pastime more than when I was a dancer- but I stopped after highschool and haven't taken a class or performed since.

8. ...except for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.

9. My roots are grounded in my family. They are the hardest ones to turn to when I need them, but I know that they are always there. Always.

(this is my most favorite picture in the entire world)

10. While I am not making enough money to adequately support my family, 95% of the time, I LOVE my job and I LOVE the people that I work with. I finally feel like I'm doing something that matters.


11. I am trusting and forgiving to a fault. If you tell me you're sorry, I will believe you. Even if I should never forgive you, I will- I'm just that way.

12. ...unless you are now or were ever my husband.

13. I didn't want kids when I was a teenager. It wasn't until I dated someone who told me he couldn't have and didn't WANT kids that I even considered it.

14. A boss I had said something to me that quite often helps me make hard decisions. He said, "When you are an old woman and you look back on your life, what do you want to see?"

15. I have had sex with four of my supervisors. (Person from #14 was NOT one of them)

16. How I met my first husband: I gave him a job. Scheduled him to work with me all the time and hit on him the first chance I got. I married him later...


17. The weirdest toy I ever got to review was a big round egg shaped vibe that had these plastic nubby things on it that were kinda pokey. I looks like a blowfish and I was tempted to put eyes on it and throw it in a tank of water.

seriously right???

18. There is rarely an important decision I make in which I don't first consult my best friend Ed, it's been like that since I was about 19.

19. Oh my god, really.... twenty five????

20. I have not decided if I want to go to the 20 year high school reunion.

21. I have realized that I sometimes talk about things in MY world that don't translate the same in YOUR world. For example- me talking about dildo's is about as normal as talking about kitchen appliances or lampshades. I forget that for most people, sex is something they just don't talk about.



22. I have also realized that by letting people know that I am totally open in talking about it, people will open up to me and often feel good about admitting things they think are weird or crazy. Trust me, nothing shocks me.

23. I have a girl friend who I let tie me up with ropes, cause she needs the practice.



(that is a chest harness and a spreader bar)

24. It's 12:30, one more gratuitous picture of me and I'm going to bed.



25. Goodnight.

Crazy never sleeps

There was an altercation at my work the other day. I work at a hospital and occasionally people get angry and things start to happen. The nurse manger got punched in the face once. Nurses get grabbed and swung at. Once a crazy patient threatened to stab a little girl with a pencil (that he got from the chapel!)

I did not hear about this entire event, and really I didn't need to. Apparently though, it was between family members. No not brothers and sisters...

But the family members of one patients and the family members of the patient in the next bed.

Oh yeah, you heard me.

They were in the inside of the patients' room when it stared, but apparently SOMEONE said, "They ought to get this fucking illegal alien out of this room!"

Yeah, you can see how nicely THAT went over.

Both families- each containing a few people EACH were ushered into the hall way once the yelling started and then it got very loud, and ugly racists words were exchanged and security was called- STAT. I am not sure exactly who hit whom first, but I heard there was some swinging involved. Security did not get there fast enough, and you know- what's FAST ENOUGH when you are throwing out ugly things like that.

This is a community hospital people- where we, as health care professionals have a responsibility to care for people who come through the doors. I don't fucking care about your political beliefs OR your complete LACK of class and human decency. Shut the fuck up. Really- all parties ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Health care is a human right. Take your bullshit someplace else.

dental psychosis

Gabriel had his first dental work done yesterday. He was not blessed with good healthy teeth. He brushes and all that- but if his father or I are any indication, well, yeah- he just wasn't blessed.

We have new Dental Insurance, a PPO. The First PPO plan I have ever elected for. We are an forced to be an HMO family because paying a % of good care is good if you don't have someone who is hospitalized 8-10 times a year. It just isn't possible. But this year I opted for the more expensive dental plan, realizing that the work that I need done is not going to be covered at ALL by an HMO so I'd rather pay for a percentage of it, than pay for ALL of it. Anyway... Gabe needed nerve treatments and crown on a few bad cavities. 4 of those. AHK!

It turns out that there was an abcess and they needed to remove one of those teeth. So they did that.

The dentist office I chose is popular in my neighborhood as it specializes in Children. Ok, that works fine. There's a few things I had serious issues with.

a) Papoose Boards. I am not even going to look it up and link it, cause it just makes me sweat. I discussed my concerns on this with his dentist, a very nice, young attractive Indian lady who assured me that they LOOK scary but they are really necessary. "I will have sharp instruments in your sons mouth. If he flails his arm, and hit me- I could cut his lip right off."

ok. fine. I don't like it- but I work in a hospital. I understand when restraints are for the patients own safety.

b) Parents are not allowed in the room when the work is being done. Ummm- what?? Why not? What if he's scared- what if he needs me? The dentist assured me that when parents are around, kids tend to play it up more. You know how other people tell you that your kids are SOO polite and so well behaved, and you just don't see it? It's like that. If I am there he will scream and cry and throw a fit, but generally when the parents are not there- they don't do that.

ok. fine.

So I prepared Gabe yesterday, using the terms that the dentist used and he seemed all good. At one point, AFTER they told me about needed to remove the tooth I could SWEAR that I heard him screaming. A mother KNOWS the sound of her childs scream. You know it, cause it's like running a blade up my raw spine and splicing it open. I turned and looked towards the front desk, past the other people- and it was as if nobody else heard it. I felt like I was going to pass out.

I breathed deep, sent a text message to someone (who clearly missed my point) and then just sat for a few more minutes until Gabe came out. Looking a bit misty- big gauze in his mouth. The lovely young dentist called me over- gave me further instructions. He needs to do the last crown still- and he will need a spacer for that missing tooth until.... the new one comes in? (can't remember). I asked, was that Gabe I heard screaming?? She said no... he was pretty quiet and very sleepy the whole time.

hmmmmmm.....

I asked Gabe, who didn't seem traumatized at all. I asked if it hurt and he said, 'no not really'. He said it was tingly. He said it was a little pinch like they said. I asked if he cried, he said no. Well.... ok. Maybe the screams in my own head just SOUND like my children.

Oh- and when we got back to my mom's house, I mentioned that he had to go back one more time. THEN he started... screaming and crying and throwing a fit.

Well I'll be damned...
--

And his dental work is NOTHING compared to what I've got coming.

My first semester in Grad School

It's almost over. I have a few assignments a few assignments to complete and then I'm done. Two classes down, 14 to go!!! See me learnin...

This semester was not as hard as I was expecting it to be. It was a lot of work. I wrote 16 papers in the last 16 weeks. I think that may be the same amount that I wrote in all of undergraduate school. I think it was not so hard because these first two classes were more general studies in health care. Next semester is Research Methods and Quantitative Analysis (which will be a lot of statistics) and Health Economics. While I have never been very good at Econ, I really am interested in this class. God knows I didn't learn much in my undergrad Econ class. My teacher was a mess and he was confusing and unfocused. However I really would like to know exactly HOW we can get out of this health care mess we are in.

I would like to understand exactly how the cost of health care goes up- when Insurance Companies and the Federal Government have fixed/contracted rates and the uninsured often don't pay at all. I mean technically I can CHARGE whatever I want to for services, but if I have a contract that says that 75% of my payors are only going to pay X dollars... you see where I'm going with this.

I'm struggling with my career choice though- because while clinical people make the bigger dollars- administrators are not always so lucky. Right now I consider myself VERY lucky to have a job. Neurology is sexy right now- I believe the Hand Clinic was completely dissolved.

Hopefully I have made the right decision by staying in Health Care and not making the jump to public health. I have a little more passion for that- but this is a path of lesser resistance. That's my style, you know??

I think I will complete this semester with an A and B. I am very close to an A in this second class, but I think even with my best efforts, I will be just shy of that 90% . It's worth it- it was a hell of a New York trip.