Al-Anon's purpose is not to help someone get thier spouse, child or friend STOP drinking or using. That is and has never been its purpose. I was shocked to learn that, and some days I still have to remember it. Al-Anon is to help me.
I have a friend who has friends and loved ones who are addicts but for whatever reason, but doesn't feel that any 12 step program will benefit. His comment was, "It really seems like alot of work, to be honest."
Perhaps it's because he has never really been adversely affected. Perhaps he is able to detach with love, be compassionate and allow people (myself included) the respect and dignity to live thier lives and make thier choices, however bad-without feeling like he has to fix or save or break down over it. I respect that not everyone needs this program. Some people just mind thier own business and don't need anyone to teach them how.
Just like AA does not work for everyone, Al-Anon is not necessary for every person who has a loved one who drinks or uses.
It's there for those of us who want it- but it only works if you work it.
About Me
- Julie
- Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.
2 comments:
Jules...I applaud you.
Ciao,
Teri
Gosh Jules, if it makes you feel any better... I am in AA, and have found it necessary to hit some Al-Anon in order to deal with the alkies in my life... My step mom went to one mtg and promptly announced that "those people are too sick for me..." I had to laugh, knowing of the things I saw and heard while living with her and my alcoholic father. Denial runs in alcoholics and their families!
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