We all want to change the world.

I worked on Saturday. Normally I would groan about it, but it was another community awareness event that we sponsored. This program has been the single most frustrating work project because it was a big event with too many chiefs for any tribe.

In the end, it was about 300 people, mostly women, learning about stroke and heart disease and it was an insane success. I truly love working these events because my lack of clinical skill means that while my attendance in required- my job is to walk around and make sure things go smoothly. I got to talk to the attendees, answer the questions that I could answer, and basically be social and gracious all day long. Yes, I can be both of those things. I love community awareness events and while it was an exhausting day and I was glad to be home, I felt like for all the stress we accomplished something fantastic.

The e-husband is back in the hospital, which seems about right. It's been about 6 weeks since his last stay so he's on schedule I guess. He's been a big baby since he got there and I have done my best to enjoy not having to listen to him bitch. I realize that I have agreed, albeit reluctantly, to spend the rest of my days with this man, but I never agreed to be his emotional punching bag. I did not leave work to take him to the hospital, my sister was in the area so she picked him up and drove him there. I had offered for days previous to take him and he refused for one reason or another. Saturday he called me in the middled of the event and practically demanded that I come home and take him to the hospital. Giving up 9 hours of overtime and an event that I had a major hand in planning. No. Simply put, I said no. My sister being in the area was a fortunate coincidence and I made arrangement to get him help. My words were, "If you need help, then I can get you some, but I cannot help you right now."

Perhaps I should feel guilty, but I don't. It's not about the money, or even the job. It's about having some boundaries. If I dropped everything, every time he had a health emergency, I would never be able to do anything. I don't know if something being important to me is a trigger for him to get sick, or if it's just that he is just sick so often... Either way, I have to keep some sense of normalcy. I have to force myself to put my life first, because it is my life that makes all of our lives possible. I realize that he does not do this on purpose and it's not the same as him drinking or drugging, but this pattern is part of the same disease- and I cannot feed into it all the time. The resentment that goes along with that will destroy me. I know, I've been there.

Other than the usual drama... I saw movies this weekend. Lots of movies. Him being gone left me free to enjoy myself. I saw:

• Atonement- a beautiful downer. An great story with wonderful acting and all that. But just kind of a downer. Doesn't leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.
• Sweeney Todd- a beautiful bleeder. Oh my god, all the blood. I knew what the story was about, I just didn't realize we got to SEE all of that.
  
• Juno- Love it. Love it. Love it. It the kind of movie that makes me love seeing movies.
• The Bucket List- Not a laugh out loud kind of movie, but considering the topic... you should not be shocked.
• Across the Universe- I love this soundtrack, it just makes it all worthwhile. If you like musicals and you like the Beatles... it's great. You say you want a revolution, well, you know..