Independence

I've starting a savings account. $50 a paycheck and whatever money I make from the affiliate accounts which is usually anywhere from $40 to $100 a month. What am I going to do with this money?

Travel. Maybe not to anyplace spectacular, but you know- I am going back to New York. I'm told the spring is good. I can do it, and maybe even a little cheaper. I loved eating in nice restaurants for every meal, but really- I don't need to do that. I admit, I did like the Marriot.

I will go alone if I have to. I won't be alone for long. I have friends there now. Rock on. I'm going to Vegas in the fall. I'm going to, one of these days, spend the night in San Diego. I've lived here all my life and I've never been to San Diego, other than to get to Sea World.

Michael doesn't like it, but you know- he will learn to deal with it. I simply deserve a little bit of freedom. Alex is old enough to take places with a friend and let loose. I have realized that if I don't force myself to take a break from the bed I've made- I will have more regret than I can stomach.

I admit that my choices are mine- and they don't make sense to a lot of people. They don't have to. I very much describe my relationship as a marriage of convenience to everyone but me. However along with the choices I am making for the benefit of others, it wouldn't not kill me to make some choices for myself. So maybe taking an hour, and eventually a day for myself every week is not feasible. However, taking a few days, once or twice a year... well, that is not only do-able, but perhaps a necessity.

I have been paying for him to smoke a pack a day for the past 9 years combined. (minus about a year total that he has lived elsewhere). At $4 a pack, because we buy in bulk, or the really cheap tobacco- that is close to $1500 a year.

$100 a month is nothing in comparison and it won't give me cancer. Besides, it's my money- right?

Here's to independence. It comes in all forms.