How to talk about sex with a child; or "the jizz talk."

Something really really REALLY funny happened today. You mom's will appreciate this, I think.

I got a bit buzzed tonight. I tried not to be to weird about it, but I sat in the living room watching TV with the kids, trying to stay quiet until Gabriel said... "What's Jizz?"

Alex and I froze and looked at him. Alex said, "WHAT?" and I smacked him.

"What's Jizz?" he asked again. I started giggling, wondering if maybe I said something. I looked at the TV, in which they said it again. But it wasn't jizz- it was "chizz." However, Gabe was saying, "jizz." Again and again.

Did I mention that I was buzzed??

Alex and I exchanged glances again and I defined "chizz" based on how it was used in a sentence on iCarly. (definition HERE.) I was trying though, not to laugh. Not to let on to Alex how funny I thought it was. How I know Alex was trying to pretend he didn't know what it meant and probably more so- pretend that I didn't know what it meant. You never, EVER want to think of the word "jizz" and "your mom" in the same sentence. But I was laughing now, and Gabe's insistance to keep saying it- because it was getting a response from both me and Alex. Alex kept trying to correct Gabe, saying, "no it's chizz Gabe. CHIZZ." At this point, either one of the words coming from my sons is making me hysterical.

I called Mike, to see if he had heard this- he was hunched over in the kitchen. Trying just as hard not to piss himself because HE was laughing so hard as well.

"What is jizz mommy? Do you like it? Do YOU like jizz mommy?"

I could not take it any longer. I laughed now, outloud. Hard and loud. The best laugh I've had in months. Gabe was kind of amused by Mommy's display of maniacal laughter. Alex was mortified.

I was officially loaded. And laughing hysterically.
My 6 year old asked me if I liked jizz.

Jizz.

best.day.ever.