Almost 20

Next week is my 20 year High School reunion. After the 10, I vowed that I was NOT going to the next reunion. My BFF's didn't show, and I guess I was kind of bored. Maybe 10 years was not enough. Perhaps I just was not in the right place in my life. 10 years ago was a long time.

So here is the 20. Unless something catastrophic happens, we're going. Mike and I met in high school. We know many of the same people. It should be a fun evening.

It's a pricey evening, but I think it should be a fun evening. A handful of the girls I have been talking to on Facebook- even though I didn't talk too much to them IN highschool will be there. I'm excited about that. I plan to buy a new dress, look fantastic, and drink considerable amounts of alcohol.

I'm anxious about it- I admit. I am in a decent place in my life, and really I don't CARE that I'm overweight and I need to color my gray. It is what it is. Social engagements always make me a little anxious. Even when I'm in my element. Even at family parties. I always feel like I'm standing in the wrong place or I'm saying the wrong thing.

Mike isn't sure that he wants to go either- but he's going as my date and we haven't had a nice evening out in a long time. We DID just have an anniversary, after all.

It's funny because I don't really consider myself a shy person. I can speak in front of a group. I can write or talk about adult topics including the location of your g-spot. However, in a group of people, I feel like I'm the one who just doesn't fit. I feel like I don't belong at my own birthday party. I'm not sure why that is, but I am certain that this issue is similar to me being fat.

I notice it way more than others do.

So I'm going in hopes that I have grown up enough not to feel like I don't belong there. I intend to go and have a good time- reminisce and just enjoy myself.

And drink considerable amounts of alcohol.
Don't forget, THAT.