What a Stupid Holiday.
Holidays are usually pretty bad for me and Michael. Maybe it's the pressure of it all. Trying to make everything perfect, trying to get along. I remember in the old days he used to really try to stay sober on those days- but it was hard for him, and things ultimately would turn ugly. And I would sit back and expect him to get drunk, so I would be angry when I woke up in the morning- and then would wait all day for him to get drunk so I could ultimately attack him. It set the stage for many years and may stressful holidays.
I was not exactly looking forward to today- any more than I have dreaded it in the past. It's 7PM and I'm currently on hold to order Pizza for dinner. (Nothing quite says love like Pepperoni...) Hey, I don't have to cook, and I don't even have to pick it up. It's the little things I guess that I can be grateful for.
Today I'm grateful for:
My new job and my old friends.
There is food in the fridge but money in the bank so I can choose to have pizza for dinner, if they ever take me off hold. Apparently I'm not the only one who isn't being taken out to dinner, but still doesn't want to cook.
That my kids are healthy and currently being quiet and well behaved.
That while my brother is not at home, he's alive and safe and knows he's loved.
and
That my best friend forgave me for acting like a jerk today because I was having Valentines Day issues.
Happy V-day. Hope you all get some....
-jules
2 comments:
It's baby steps! This Valentine wasn't as bas as the last right? So next year, hopefully will be better than this year! It's baby steps! Stay strong and positive!
Never underestimate the power of pizza...
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