What's my reality??

Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment
Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next. We adapted by taking whatever part of reality suited us and ignoring the rest. Again and again we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored.
Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real. While it may be difficult to face certain facts, when we allow ourselves to confront them, we cease to give our own denial the power to devastate us at every turn.
- Courage to Change, July 9.

Translation: As soon as I accept that I have made a huge complicated mess out of my social/ romantic life it won't be so hard to live with. It's much like getting fucked in the ass. If you breathe into the pain, it doesn't hurt so bad.




So much wasted, and this moment keeps slipping away.