The Joy of WHAT??

This is what I cooked tonight? Yes, I cooked that.


Baked Halibut on a bed of vegetables.

Yes, really I did it on my own. Me, the "microwave queen" whose best recipes are still things I have to lie and tell my kids that my mom cooked just to get them to eat them. I got the recipe on-line and I improvised a little on the veggies and spices but it smells so good in the house right now.

Did I mention that it is midnight in my house and this meal is for lunch and dinner tomorrow? I just remembered that we have a meeting tomorrow in which lunch is being catered, probably with good food that I fucken LOVE, but I'm trying to eat better and lose weight so perhaps this is a nice substitution for California Pizza Kitchen or something else fabulous that I think will make me throw up if I eat it.

I just finished the induction phase of an "atkins-like" diet that dropped 8 pounds off of me in two weeks. I was pretty shocked, and felt pretty decent until the ketosis kicked in hardcore and I had an episode every day for the last three days where I felt dizzy, and faint and depleted. The first night this happened it scared the ever-livin out of me and I was going to call 911.

Maybe it was low blood sugar, or too many ketones cause I clearly have a lot of fat to burn off. All the protein and no carbs to burn it off. Either way- I have reincorporated some natural carbs to the diet and I'm fine with having a slower weightloss that I might be able to sustain. The main reason I did this induction phase is two fold, and it's the main reason BEHIND an induction phase. It broke my craving for carbs and sugar. Which is insane, but it actually worked. It also has given me time to feel what it's like when I stop eating processed foods. Besides the weird almost passing out-thing, I have felt really good. Not as tired, not as run down.

I told very few people that I was doing this because I didn't really want to talk about it. People did notice that there was a change to what I was eating, and they would ask if I was on a diet or trying to lose weight and I would simply deny. Even though people towards the end of this week have commented on it. I just said, "yeah I think so..." and not get into it too much. Just not worth the conversation, and who knows if it will all be back in two weeks.

So am I on a diet? No. I "inducted" for two weeks, and that is all my body can take of that crap. I'm sticking to the plan I was on, and adding some natural carbs with fruit. Increasing the carb intake from <20 to < 30g per day- all from natural carbs. Vegetables, fruit etc. Nothing processed. I think I will naturally lose weight that way. Add some exercise eventually-bleh.

Paul told me that when it becomes important for me to lose weight, I will do it. Well I had somethings happen in my personal life (eek- are there things I don't share with you??) that this whole thing has been pretty decent distraction for. The only thing (for me) worse that addiction to food, is addiction to a person. (Not saying that there are not worse addictions, but these are the ones that I struggle with.

So I'm going to just start eating better. Less crap, more non-crap. See how that goes. If I gain back the 8, and don't lose anything this way- plus exercise, then fuck it, I'm going gastric bypass.

(oh shut up, I'm just kidding.)