old memories, old friend

I decided to scan some old pictures so I can put them away for good. I was tempted to throw them away, but I didn't. I thought I would share them. This first picture was the taken on the last day of school, my freshmen year in high school. That is my best friend Carrie. We've been best friends since my freshmen year. 21 years now. The boys were The Jason's. Jason Clark (my boyfriend), and Jason McEachran (her boyfriend). Jason M and I were good friends through high school and I liked him alot. Years later, I got WAY naked with him. He (Jason M) found his name on my blog a year ago or so, but he never emailed me. S0 if you are still out there and reading Jason, send me an email!!

The other Jason, was moving away that summer, so we kept in touch on the phone for that summer, and then moved on. Once I graduated and got my license, I went out to visit him and we had sex on his couch while the video to Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus was on MTV. That isn't all that I remember of course, but it's all that is fit for mentioning.

She lives in the Midwest now and I haven't seen her in 5 years or so. Our kids are roughly the same ages. I have boys, she has girls. In 4 years, I will turn 40 and Carrie and I will have been best friends for 25 years. We have talked about taking a trip together to celebrate. Someplace very Beaches-like, at Martha's Vineyard or something- drink wine, play cards, smoke cigarettes. I need to make it out to visit her again though, maybe after graduation.

What I love about this picture is that while Carrie and I are leaning into our boyfriends, we are still holding hands. Are arms are crossed over the other persons and we are holding on to each other. We always have. I love that.



This next picture are the "4 of us". For most of high school, myself, Carrie, Christie (white sweatshirt) and Abigail (in torquise) were a group. We hung out together, spent the weekends, traded boyfriends, and exchanged secrets.



Christie had higher aspirations than all of us, but maybe that was because she knew exactly what she wanted. She was going to go to UCLA, she was going to marry someone who was Greek, like her. She did exactly that. She went to UCLA, and later married a Greek pastor. We always knew she would. I speak to her maybe once a year now, if that. Exchange pictures of our kids. She dated my husband. She has kids now, boys. She has always been a good friend to me. I miss her- but I admit I am horrible keeping in touch, and I have no good reason for it.

Abigail was more friends with Carrie and Christie than she was with me. Around our senior year the group sort of broke up and I don't remember talking to Abigail at all that year although I'm sure we said hello on occasion. None of us have heard from Abigail in many years- but I heard that she was a teacher at a community college and I saw in the reunion book that she was married and had some big dogs. That was 8 years ago though.





I miss having a 'gang' to hang out with. I miss that comfort of having a 'circle'. Knowing that when there was a crisis, we would have each other. When two of us were fighting, the other two would not take sides, but would work together to help patch things up. That's the way I saw it. For my birthday one year, we went to see "Stand By Me." I remember Carrie started crying at the end, because she forsaw that someday we would all stop being friends.

We promised it would never happen.
But of course
It did.

But I have these pictures, and I have my memories. And I still have Carrie.