Or would you rather just suck face??

My friend went on a date the other day. She was luke warm about the date. He was getting kinda needy, calling every day and 'checking in' ("What- am I his fucking mother now?"). She had suspicions that maybe he was a bit on the clingy side.

My friend isn't exactly in "go go relationship" mode lately. When she joked with him that he was gettintg kinda needy, he said "am I? Oh my God! Maybe I am- I'm SOO sorry...." So clingy, needy, and mother-fucken whiney- are not a good mix. Not even for me- but even less for her.

Luke. Warm.

So this was thier first actual date. Complete with picking up and dinner. Thier interactions had been lunch up until now. From her accounts, dinner went alright. Chit chat. Small talk. Nothing really in common, but pleasant conversation just the same. I suspect that she smiled charmingly, laughed at all his jokes. Replied to his quasi-humorous remarks with replies like "totally" and "no doubt". She's a great date, to this I can attest.

Apparently at the end of the evening he kissed her goodnight. She called me later and said, "He kissed me."

silence

her- Ok, Julie- I can NOT do that again!

J- why not?

her- He totally slobbered on me. I mean, he ATE MY FACE!!!

J- Oh nooooooooooo!!

her- oh yeah. It was bad. I had to, when I went inside, WIPE OFF MY FACE. It was bad. Bad bad bad.

J- ewwwwwwww

her- yeah, ewww is right. Total ewwwww. I mean, what the fuck IS THAT???

J- what was he doing?

her- he just engulfed my mouth with his, and then he rammed his tongue to the back of my throat... and then like looked around for something back there. ugh- it was just, ugh (shuddering).

I have many thoughts....

• When do you tell someone that they are not a good kisser
  
• Did someone tell this guy he was a good kisser, making him think that this was good?
  
• Tonsil hockey is NOT a compliment.
  
• Do you force someone to kiss the way you d0- or do you mold to thier style, finding something in the middle??
  

Tongue kissing is nice. I like it but as a grown up and married person it doesn't happen very often anymore. Tongue kissing means "I'd like to have sex now."

A passionate mostly closed, minimal tongue kiss is very good too. That's a movie kiss. Lips pressing, tongue sweeping- lots of muah muah muah. That's good. That's very good. Again, doesn't happen much. I've kissed a lot of people. I've kissed men and women. I like to think I am a good kisser because I don't 'lead'. I sort of mold to the style of the person I'm kissing and then together it's nice to find a nice medium. A good semi-closed mouth, warm, soft kiss with sweeping tongue will make my knees weak and I think I speak for most women. Lead with the lips guys.

While most women are impressed with a strong and skilled tongue, we dont need (or WANT) you to check for strep throat while you're at it