Letting go

This is my last Holidalies post. Lets recap. This month, I did nothing but study, potty train, and bitch about my husband. Yeah, no wonder I'm bored with this blog. Cause my life is pretty boring lately. I did not make the "Best Of" list this year, which doesn't surprise me. I appreciate those who read me on a regular basis and who tolerate my incessant bitching. I will try to do better in 2008. Maybe daily blogging isn't for me anymore. Maybe my life is just not that interesting now that I'm 'married' again.

I sat home last night, with Alex, watching Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve. I cried seeing Dick Clark. It was heartbreaking and inspiring to see him there. I did not watch last year so I did not know at the time that he also did this last year. His speech was not bad, considering he's just three years out from his stroke. I don't know the details but he was in the hospital for almost two months, which is a long time even for someone with money and probably private insurance if not a personal physician. It made me sad to see his deficits, the tell tale slurring of his speech, and proof of his age finally showing after so many years. I loved watching Dick Clark on TV as a kid. I guess seeing him like this, is yet another reminder that I am getting older and the things I loved as a child will soon be gone forever. I hope they always call it "Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve."

I went to bed along shortly after midnight, but was up this morning, ready to watch the Rose Parade. Danny was watching it with me. He seemed to like watching the marching bands, naming all the instruments that he could identify. Drums! Trombone! Tuba! Saxophone! Trumpet! Flute! Mama, where's the violin?? He watched the whole thing with me.

I have spent the last few days cleaning house. Throwing things away and collecting clothes to give to good will. I have three tubs of clothes. It makes me sad to give the boys clothes away. I know that there will be no more little ones, and that someone else can get good use of these clothes but it makes me sad just the same. Passage of time. It just something else to be sad about. The good things never last long enough. My children are not babies anymore. As much as I want things to change, there are some things I am less ready for.