Having no more kids in diapers. My goal is, by the end of the week to be completely done with diapers/ pull ups at least during his waking hours. At some point this year, my goal is April, to have Danny completely out of pull ups and potty trained 24/7. It's the end of the baby phase and while there are some things I will miss, the phases that last the longest are the ones that are most unpleasant.
Having no kids in day care. It won't be until September, but Danny will go into the 2 year Kindergarten program in September of 2008. It's the same program that Gabriel is in, a 2 year Kindergarten for kids who are right on the border of being old enough, but not mature enough or have a good enough grasp on the reading/writing aspect of Kindergarten. I remember when Kindergarten was just about colors and shapes and you learn to read and write in FIRST grade. Well the parents have pushed the school districts out here so far, that by the END of Kindergarten, a child will need to know how to write three sentences on one topic that start with a capital letter and end with a period. Jeez. So Danny will do 2 years of Kindergarten also. It will be great to see him learning at the rate that Gabriel is, and it will also be fantastic to not have to pay $135 a week for child care either.
Graduation. You seriously have no idea what a big deal this is for me. When I was pregnant with Danny, and e-husband decided to start a short lived relationship with crack cocaine, I had been going in community college, just taking general ed classes and thinking of maybe going into ultrasound technology or something trade schoolish. It seemed feasible, financially stable and not too grandiose. Once e-husband but closed the door on 'me believing he would ever be able to support us.'- I, 4 months pregnant- with a 10 month old baby and a 9 year old, decided I would go to school full time and pursue my bachelors degree. It took three semesters to get out of community college and I started Cal State Long Beach in Spring of 2006. Fast forward 5 semesters to May 2008 and I will graduate with my BS in Health Care Administration.
Graduate School. I have already applied. Upon acceptance, I will start in June 2008, three days after graduation. And 2 years later, I will have -my Masters Degree in Public Health. I will be the first of my mothers children to have a college degree. The third in the whole family to have a college degree, and the second to have a Masters- right behind my cousin Lori, who has been my unofficial college adviser, since that is what she does for a living, just not at the school I attend. She is the person I know will be cheering the loudest for me. It made me very happy to hear her at Christmas, telling me she will be making a special trip back to California, just for my graduation. It's nice to have a cheering section.
Disneyland. I am buying passes for me and Alex this year. While Disneyland is not my favorite place to go, and there were some days I would claim not to like it at all- I am looking forward to having this time with Alex. Something fun that is just for us and the other boys will not be involved in, at least not yet. I hope it will also be a good opportunity for me to spend time with my sister, and my friend Christine who is a Disney junkie.
Making more money. With my degree, holds a promise of a higher salary at my current job. My boss is in the works, trying to create a new title, and a salary that will justify my 40K education. In June, I hope to get that raise and enjoy a little more financial freedom. And by freedom, I mean, the freedom to pay my bills AND eat.
An improved relationship with my husband. Improvement goes both ways. There are days that I am ready to change my mind, file for divorce and be done with it. But really, I just can't visualize my life without him. Even if I TRY to. Either way, October 2008 is two years from the initial separation. And by then, I will simply have to make a decision. He will have to either man up and get the shit taken care of that I have requested of him- or I will have to move on with my life. I think two years is long enough. It's not as if I'm asking him to get HEALTHY. Just responsible.
More time with my kids. Starting next week, I am changing my work schedule. Instead of being at work at 6:30AM, I will be going in two hours later so I can drop my kids off at school in the morning. We can have breakfast together. They go to my parents house after school anyway, so they won't have to get up so early- I will get to sleep in and I will have more time. I only have one class on campus for my final semester, and the rest is online so I will be home more nights a week. Graduate school is 100% online. I have always said that I was going to school and doing all of this FOR them, to make all of our lives better. Unfortunately, it meant I was in class 2 to 4 nights a week. But now, it's time for me to dedicate more time to them. That is why I am paying more for an online graduate program- because I can't be away from them any longer. Graduate school was not part of the original plan. That's for me. But I won't do it at their expense.
You know, looking at this list- I really do have much to look forward to. Even if I hit road blocks and bumps and even some emotional tornadoes, there are things that will happen if I just stay on the path I've been on. Everyone has told me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And while I've been focusing on that light, I am finally starting to feel the heat from the sun on the other end. I'm starting to believe that it really will get better.
1 comment:
Hell yeah! May 2008 baby!!! :)
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