My birthday

Today is my 34th birthday and as many jokes as I made today about being 29, 27- possibly going backwards starting this year etc. I don't feel that bad about being 34. I think I would hate to be 24 again. I didn't have any idea who I was at 24, and while I may have some issues, I'm clearly aware of who I am- for most of my uninventoried flaws, I doubt that at the end of my 4th step, I will be suprised at my list of charated defects.
The picture is of my neice, Megan. There are more picture in my photo albums. I love that she is getting her nails done and painting her toes and putting on lip gloss. I know my sister worries about her being a 'normal little girl'- and every little girl love nail polish and lip gloss and it absolutely warms my heart to see these pictures. I'm grateful for her. She is such a joy.
Some co-workers took me to lunch for my birthday and I was grateful to be around them and that they wanted to come. In the afternoon there was a cake and they really suprised me with it. The whole office was in there, and sang happy birthday to me- and it felt good. Not like they were dragged in to do it, while I would have normally thought so. Christine bought me a bracelet that I have been eyeing and it is a chain type bracelet with connected rings that say really cool loving words on it peace, love, dream, goals, heart, virtue, giving, honesty, believe, connect, respect, cherish, happy and relax. Two words on each circle. She knows what it means to me. I said thank you, hugged her, and told her I love her. I hope she knew it before, as I don't know that I've ever said it to her. I really felt loved today, and deserving of the attention. I also was sure to email Jennifer, who arranged the lunch, and the cake and told her how much it meant to me that she went through the effort and made me feel loved on a day that I normally want to disappear in fear that nobody would notice me anyway. I was sure to tell her that I was grateful for her friendship.
One thing did happen to me that was very hurtful- someone that I care about, and I thought cared about me absolutely ignored that it was my birthday. At work I was sitting in front of a bouquet of balloons, one of which said HAPPY BIRTHDAY and he never commented about it, even though I had told him days ago that it was my birthday- so seeing the balloons should have jogged his memory- but he opted to not comment at all. I was hurt- we are friends and I am usually grateful for his friendship but it seems as if he purposely ignored me. And while I did not want for him to make any kind of big DEAL about me, it would have been nice for him to acknowledge me- we ARE friends, after all. But he didn't. And I admit, it hurt. I don't know what his reasons were, and he does not seem the type to intentionally hurt me- but he did call me this morning and ask a favor of me, which I gladly obliged- which then just makes me feel stupid and used when he still did not even say so much as 'happy birthday'. I do not need any more people in my life who ask for things of me, and then do not even acknowledge me. I think I gave alot of energy being upset about this today- and I have to let it go. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and my friends really made me feel loved today. It's funny how with all the good things that happened today- I am focusing on the one bad thing. The one person who did NOT make me feel good- is the one I am thinking about. Patsor Ed's 200 to 1 theory. 200 people tell you that you are great, and 1 person tells you that you are a jerk. Guess who gets your full attention? Well I may not have alot of 200's , but I do not have to listen to the 1's. Today I can be grateful for the 200's. And I don't even have to look very hard for them anymore. All I have to do is open my eyes. God, I'm grateful for that.