Things to be thankful for

I thought alot about gratitude today. I feel that while my life is clearly not perfect, I do have alot of good things happening to me. I have things to look forward to. I have good friends. I had every intention do staying at home and cleaning house, playing with the kids and doing some writing. I did all those things, but I also managed to accept an invitation from a friend for Thanksgiving dinner with her family. She invited us on Wednesday, and I gratefully declined for no real reason other than the fact that I didn't want to commit to anything. She called again today around noon while the boys were still napping. She also reminded me of the really good cheesy greenbeans that she made. Which was pretty much the decider for me. So we ended up going to Thanksgiving with my friend and her family. It was nice. Gabriel did not sit down and decided to play on the patio instead. Daniel clanged his silverware together, ate a few rolls, and decided that does NOT like olives. I was able to eat a whole plate of food, seconds on the greenbeans and a glass of soda. It was nice. I was very glad that I went. I remember being told once, long long ago that there is nothing wrong with accepting an invitation for a meal. I don't like to cook. I'm not really good at it. People usually don't invite you unless they want to. Especially for things like Thanksgiving. Christine is my friend. She loves my boys. She took them to Disneyland. I was not really doing anyone anygood by just staying at home. I needed to eat, the boys needed to eat. And it was good to get them out of the house. AND when I brought them back, they both napped again. Both boys- two naps each at the same time. It was a GOOD DAY.
I realize though that my initial rejection of the offer is because I naturally assume that people don't really WANT me around, and are just being nice. Perhaps she has these fuzzy feelings about Thanksgiving and poor Julie is not having any turkey. But I realize that nobody feels sorry for me. People like having me around. Imagine that. Tomorrow I am going to visit with some old friends of mine for a little while- and I may not even bring the boys with me. And that's ok. I am certain that they will enjoy just seeing ME. I am learning to put away all the old feelings that nobody likes me. All evidence points to the opposite, but I have to practice letting people in. I have to practice being social and hanging out with people. Letting the people that I love know that I love them. Letting them love me. The 200's are abound in my life- and like I said, I don't even have to LOOK for them. They are right there in front of me. I'm thankful for that.