Not just a program of meetings

This morning my van had a flat tire. What a way to ruin the day. It was not the tire, but the complete havoc it wrecked on Michael and I. In my opinion, he was manic today and kind of going back and forth with what he thought I should do and when we should handle the situation. "The situation" being me finding a gas station open to fix it, or him going to Auto Zone and buying me some Fix-A-flat. We ended up arguing about it, about who had the attitude, and about who was as going to actually handle the situtaion.
But how does this have to do with why I go to meetings. Well, because as the day went on, I could see, more and more clearly as the tension rose, that while he was frustrated and being what I considered to be 'jerky'- I was clearly being a bitch. I was being smug and self righteous, sound familiar?? At one point the thought crossed my mind that he actually took the air out of my tires, in an attempt for me to give him money to fix it and then...well, forget it. It was so stupid and I realized that, and realized that I was being a freakin lunatic. So I came home, and I said that I was sorry. And I meant it.
I have not been to a meeting in at least two weeks. As I said yesterday, I'm using it as an excuse to behave this way. I need to go to meetings to remind me that I have to take responsibility for my actions and for the things that I say, and maybe that will encourage me to keep my mouth shut. He doesn't get in bad moods to bother ME.
I apoligized to Michael for being a crazy bitch and bought him pizza for dinner after the kids were in bed. I told him that I have not been to a meeting and it's making me kind of crazy. He reminded me that meetings alone do not bring my program home. That I have other tools of the program that I can use and I should use them when I can't get to a meeting. Now how does he know that??? Apparently he IS going to meetings. I felt stupid. Sometimes I forget that he goes to meetings, he knows what the steps are- even if he doesn't have them memorized. I need to practice keeping my mouth shut- cause it sucks to get shut down- expecially when you have it coming.