Maybe it's the jeans, or maybe I just need to get laid

I went shopping with my sis today. We grabbed handfuls of clothes and tried them all on. I found a new shirt and a new pair of jeans.

I have not bought new jeans in a long time. The don't wear the ones I have because they are tapered legs. I had no idea they were tapered legs because I was only concerned with the fact that they fit my ass. Apparently they not only fit my ass, but made it look bigger. lovely. So I stopped wearing them, and have bought any since, except for a pair of old navy jeans that were too big for my husband. I know, it's sad. I'm wearing HIS fat jeans, what fucking ever.

So sis grabbed them and tossed them my way. I rolled my eyes, but complied. I can play along. My sis has this teeny body with curves where they are supposed to be. I try not to openly seethe at her for this- but you know- she has better genes than me, apparently.

So after trying on the shirts that were more of a disaster in pattern than in fit, I reached for the jeans and stuffed my ass into them. I've heard that finding a pair of good jeans is a sexually satisfying experience, especially for us bigger girls who have size issues. (Short and fat is a bad combo for jeans) I always assumed that this was an urban legend, like the guy who gets his kidney stolen and wakes up in a bathtub full of ice. Perhaps it's because I've never FOUND a good pair of jeans before.

Well, that's what happened when I slipped into these jeans. They are a bit snug, but for the stretch they are really comfortable. I got a flutter in my downtown region. They curve where they should. They totally rock my ass. Heavy breathing. They cover what needs covering and don't give me wide hips, a muffin top, or camel toe. White hot explosion.

SCORE!!!!