I posted that song yesterday for a few reasons. It's just a good song. I was watching 13 going on 30 and it was in that movie, and I so rarely hear Billy Joel songs in movies. It made me a little sad. I was singing along with the song, it just sort of made my heart sink a little bit. So I sat down and thought about the lyrics and wrote them out and decided that while I had always liked the song, I never really paid too much attention to the lyrics. Except one line, "You can get what you want, or you can just get old." But the whole song sort of made me think about life, and how it gets out of control. How we go through life, going through the motions- doing what we think we should do- what seems to be the logical next step. Are we true to our hearts?- or are we doing what just seems like the most logical and responsible thing to do. If you heart pulls you one direction, but logic pulls you another- which side wins out?
Logic tell me I am making the right decision to leave this relationship, and my heart tells me that I'm going to rip apart my children. Everyone tells me that they will be better for it in the long run, but I know that "the long run" is a pretty long ways away- and by then, in my opinion, you are just too old to blame your parents for your unhappy state. I see these babies and how attached they are to thier dad. And how I am just NOT as maternal as I wish I was. I am the logical one, the busy one, the stereotypical "dad", with boobs. Right NOW- I am sitting here, posting this- drinking my coffee, and HE is sitting with Gabe, who is sick right now, watching cartoons. Who is the better parent, and who is the better person? And when if comes to your children- which one should you be if you can't be both??