And so it goes...

"So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break."

A long time ago I was given a heart to break. And I did just that. And I think I've been paying for it ever since.

Some days I am just not sure which direction my life is going. E-husband has been here for a few days, and it's been nice. We enjoy a very nice friendship and our visits are pleasant and sweet. Perhaps it's BECAUSE he isn't staying but a few days that we can tolerate each other. I am not confused about our relationship, but I guess it might seem confusing. We are separated, we are friends, we still love each other. We can't live together. We sleep in the same bed again when he's here, we didn't always. We have meals together. We kiss goodnight. But that seems to be it. I am incredibly grateful for his presence these past few days because I was starting to feel overwhelmed and frustrated with the Beasties. Him being here has brought a calm to my house. He's helped me clean the kitchen, he's been cooking. It's lovely.

I have my cake.

Tomorrow he is going back to his place.
That's me, eating my cake.

I know they say you can't do that. That there is a price to pay for everything. But I think maybe I'm paid up on Karma. I may even have a credit.