Being late means nothing to me. I'm late. I'm about 5-10 days late. I don't really even keep track of when I'm supposed to start my period because that is how unconcerned I am with being late. I laugh in the face of late. Late can kiss my ass.
I had the plumbing disconnected when Danny was born. There is a disconnected pipe in the foundation and it is not a problem anymore. My eggs float to the end of the cliff and just fall to thier deaths. If you listen closely, you can hear them screaming.
Also, I am also missing the one key component that would even remotely cause me to think twice- sperm. Yeah, none of that around here. So I can be late, and it's no sweat except for the fact that I still have to carry 'something' around with me all the time unless it sneaks up on me like incontinence or something.
Really I think the fact that I even HAVE to have a period anymore is ridiculous. It mocks me. I can't have babies, so why do I have to bleed at all. I should have had them do a hysterectomy, and leave the ovaries- it keeps me from being premenopausal, but I don't have to bleed. It mocks me. Having to go through having periods for another 10 years at least- and for what? My child bearing years are over, I decided that three years ago. One thing that marks the ability to get pregnant is having a period. So if I can't get pregnant, then I should not have to have a period. I considered getting on The Pill and then taking it every day (no placebo) so I just don't ever have a period. I could not convince my vag doctor to script it to me. It's not healthy, I SHOULD have a period. I SHOULD let my body do that. Whatever, she HAD a hysterectomy.
So I don't have to go through another life altering pregnancy, that would probably not happen anyway, given the whole, "unfuckable" issue I seem to be suffering from- but I still get to have the monthly "scenario" that as a "fuckable" women, I was once relieved to recieve- meaning I did not, in fact, get knocked up after a night of margatritas, line dancing and a Pendelton Marine named Matt who let me wear his cowboy hat. Ah, the good old days.
No, I just get to bleed like the rest of the procreating females. I was told that if they removed my uterus I would go through early menopause. Hot flashes, and mood swings. Fuck, I go through that before I get to work in the morning!! It's a long walk from the parking structure.
About Me
- Julie
- Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.
2 comments:
Oh I could have written this. I hate having the plumbing disconnected (great wording) yet have periods. IT SUCKS! and totally unfair.
:-)
I hate periods. If I could, I would smack Eve upside her damn head... who the fuck listens to a talking snake? I so look forward to the day when I'm done with it for good... though if my mom is any indication I've still got another 20 years to go. Oh joy!
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