Is thirty seconds enough??

How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?
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I'm not a cuddler. I'm just not. Thirty seconds is enough, perhaps a minute. Up to 5 minutes if it's cold, or if I'm really tired, or if I'm sad and/or crying. I can't imagine it being longer than that. If I cuddle up to the e-husband on the couch, it's because I know HE is not a couch-cuddler and he will most definitely tell me within seconds of my head hitting his shoulder that he was just about to get up. To which my reply is usually, "oh?- can you get me something to drink?"

Last night after sex, he decided he wanted to cuddle. He curled up behind me and we were spooning. AFTER the sex. I am just not sure what to do with this. This is the same move he makes before the sex- rarely does he do it after sex. So there I was, post-orgasm, and he was laid up behind me, his arm draped over my body, and hugging me. Holding me.

And there I was, starting to feel the anxiety crawl up my spine and my heart rate quicken. I can't help this, it just happens. I just need space. Fresh air. My emotional closed-off-ed-ness kicks into overdrive and I'm mildly claustrophobic. I realized quickly that the only thing better than the two of us sleeping on separate sides of the bed, is having the bed to myself. So for him to have semi-presence back in my bed, and now becoming a cuddly sleeper... well, you can understand my emotional distress.

Being in the receiving position, I could not do the "Hug and Roll" :

Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollllll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you!

I didn't want want to just shake him off and I knew that rolling on my stomach would not be enough. I waited the few LONG minutes for his breathing to steady, and then I reached away for a drink of water. Breaking all contact with him, except the arm flung too comfortably over my side. I took a really long drink of water, and then laid back down. Back in the spooning positing, but NOT touching.

There was a good 6 inches between us, and just his arm still over my body. It was good. It was space, it was....enough.

Until he tried to scoot back towards me, on my side of the bed. AHHH!! You're killin me man!!

At that point I realized I had to escape it. I was ready to pull out my hair, my chest was pounding against my ribs and the muscles in my neck were starting to pinch. So I pulled a horrendous guy move. I got out of bed. I sat up, climbed off the bed, grabbed my waterglass and left the room. When I came back, he was laying back on his side, facing outwards. So I climbed back to my side of the bed, the far side. The cuddle-free zone.
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Look, I'm just NOT a cuddler.

It doesn't make me a bad person.