Boobs and Porn and Dildos, Oh My!

I totally submitted to Tits for Troops this week cause I like to show my support, and you know, I do what I can. It's important, really.



And all I see is "oh my god- hello hips. Is that twisted? I mean 90% of this photo is boobs and what I see is the two curves that swing WIDE outwards. I know, it's twisted and self depricating, but really, it's part of my charm.

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I got a new book in the mail today "Male Domination and Female Submission." I am doing a book review on Amazon for it. I love reading good erotica almost as much as I love writing it- but something about getting dirty books in the mail is particularly sexy, don't you think? It's as if amidst the bills I'm not paying and the ads for produce and hair care products, there's a place in this world where it's perfectly ok to leave the vanilla at the door and get dragged around by your hair.

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Speaking of leaving vanilla at the door, I'm thinking about becoming a sex toy consultant and doing those home parties and stuff. I need a way to make some extra money, and I've done the candles and the crafty stuff.

I don't scrap book and I don't burn candles. I don't cook either, nor do make fancy baskets or organize my cabinets into plastic containers.

But dildos, I know. I know that some of those sex toy parties can really be an insane bore. Where a smartly dressed lady goes around calling the clit "the doorbell" (even though women have been explaining for years that it is not something to be PUSHED!) and referring to anal play as "upside down cake" when really it's just toys that go in your butt. I mean, really- buttsex isn't for everyone, but let not compare it to baked goods ok?

I'm trying to find a good company that sells a variety of toys, not just the pretty rabbit vibes, but some edgier stuff also. That does not jack up the prices and I can still make a decent profit. The Hitchaci Magic Wand sells for under $50 almost everywhere online, so I am not going to present it for $75. So far I'm looking at Temptation Parties, who is run by Adam and Eve who I already work with. Their prices are the most reasonable, and I think that makes a difference.

Here are some of my ideas for party games and ice breakers:

"Who here can deep throat?"
"Who's the most experienced/ AKA: a bigger slut than me!"
"The WORST Oral sex Story wins a prize!"
"It's ok to like buttsex, but you don't have to tell!"
"Advice you wish someone had told you about blowjobs."

Really, can you imagine one of my parties?? I think I'd be wildly popular. Wouldn't you like to attend one.

I can see if I can get a whole group of women to say the word CUNT outloud.

Oh that would be a good day.