About Me

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Using my 40's as a do-over for my thirties, only smarter. I often mistake the bees and honey reference with the one about free milk and a cow. This might explain my whole life.

Friday, November 30, 2007

So did ya see the link?? (18+)

To the left, to the left.....

There's a link there for my online adult store. It's sponsored by Adam&Eve so you know it's good quality stuff. I placed my first order (woo hoo) and got a fancy vibe with the Adam & Eve logo on it for $4, plus ANOTHER smaller vibe for free. Hey, one for the car you know... ha ha.

I'm not sure why people would really opt for a $20 vibe that has the logo on it, but maybe it's like buying Nike's- you want them to say NIKE! I don't usually do e-commerce, and I really started doing this for my other blog. Ha Ha- you thought it was a link didn't you?? Hee hee, just fuckin with ya. Anyway, I decided to take advantage of my mega traffic on the other blog and affiliate. Since I was able to have more than one 'campaign'- I decided to link here as well. So you know, if you are in the market for some toys- or a gift (don't be shy- a dildo makes a PERFECT gift for most gals!) then click on over to my store, sponsored by Adam & Eve. I am also trying to work out a product review deal, like that wouldn't be the most AWESOME gig ever!!

I joined the ERWA a while back, and while I don't participate much on their site, I do get frequent emails regarding places I can submit my writing and such. The most recent was a company looking for copywriters for their toys. I need to send them three samples. I had fun with the first one.






I'm still trying to imagine the idea of 10 inches long and 7 1/2 inches around. Can you say "forearm". Holy cock, Batman- that is one big dildo!!! I also need to write a LONGER (hee hee) description for the same toy. I am tempted to just write.... "Oh yes oh yes oh yes"- about 50 times. That might get the point across huh??


Thursday, November 29, 2007

HNT- taking chances



E-husband went back to his parents house on Tuesday. He is coming back next week because he has doctors appointments-

but I miss him.

What the fuck is that all about????





Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Holiday Bloggin

Boy, are you STUPID Charlie Brown!!!



I'm watching A Charlie Brown Christmas with the Beasties. I love this movie. This is the first time they have seen it and they got a big kick out of watching Snoopy dance on Schroeder's piano. Also, Gabe smiled really big when they fixed his little tree.




Again, this year I'm going to vow to be cheerful and not get down this Holiday Season. It does look more hopeful than last year and it doesn't look like I'll be completely broke, so that always makes for a good December.

I'm also participating in Holidalies again this year, where I will blog every day in December. I can't guarantee 'high quality' stuff, but there will be something. I invite you to also blog every day in December!!

no no no no drama

E-husband is going home for a few days. I came into work today and was reminded the simple joys of being married. Less drama.

I know, that sounds funny considering who I am married to. But I talk to my friends and the dating drama is just such a fucking nightmare.

Friend- "Well I thought things were going really well- we had such a connection, and we had sex and he hasn't called in over a week."
Me- "Isn't this the same guy who did this to you last month?"
Friend- "Yes."

Seriously??

Monday, November 26, 2007

Pain the the chest

As I type, I am sitting in the Emergency Room in the hospital I work at. This morning at around 10:50, I started getting chest pains. It lasted about 5 or 6 minutes. it was kind of a crushing pain. Made me a little dizzy. No shortness of breath. It was mildly scary. I called a nurse over and she took my blood pressure, it was elevated (144/98), and called the manager. They put me on a telemetry monitor and they said that it was a little abnormal (but my boss said later that it was fine). So then I came down to the ER cause they said I really should- even if it's nothing.

Fast forward 5 hours to now. I had to get all undressed and in the fucking gown. They have taken blood, and stuck these tubes up my nose with oxygen blowing up my nose. Gave me some aspirin. The labs came back normal, and now I am waiting. The nurse said they are going to repeat the blood test. So who the hell knows how long I will be here. At least I have my lap top.

And I have been watching several hours of Hannah Montana, because it is way better than the daytime TV bullshit that is on. It is weird though, being the one in the ER bed. My boss came by for a few minutes. I got some work done, which I know is screwing up the heart monitors on me, cause I am not sitting completely still. But I was still for the first three hours. My blood pressure is back to normal. I'm hungry. They just took the blood and she said the results should be back in an hour. We'll see. Did I mention that I'm hungry??

This is so ridiculous. I am feeling stupid for even doing this. I feel fine. Really, fine.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The "no bullshit" kid.



On the weekends, I love my morning coffee. Sometimes I will only have one cup, other mornings I will have 3 or 4 cups. It depends on how much I made, or how much I have to do. This morning is pretty slow.

Yesterday I went shopping at Kohls with the gift certificate I bought for my birthday. I bought stuff for the beasties, and something for Sarah, my step daughter, and a birthday present for ehusband. Whose birthday is tomorrow. New slippers. I got him a good pair that is normally $40. I got them for 17.99. SCORE!!! I also got several other items for mostly 50% off.


I often catch myself saying I only have 3 kids. But I have 4. I don't talk about Sarah much, because she doesn't live with me- nor does she live in California. She's 14 going on 30- and I don't mean that in a bad way. Ever since she was young, she was always a smart girl. She doesn't seem to be afflicted with the teenage angst that so many other teen girls I know. She's extremely polite and well mannered. She has such a great attitude and is not bothered when people don't like her. She is quirky, into comic book heroes like the X-men. We have very little in common, Sarah and me. Phone conversations and emails are short and sweet. When she was younger, we both loved N'Sync. We had that. Last night I was adding my N'Sync CD's to my iTunes (that's right bitches!!) and I was thinking about her and how much I miss the funny little smile she had when she was 5. sigh.

Having given birth to all boys, Sarah is the only daughter I have even though her living out of state, and her dad and I being separated makes for a very distant relationship. We get along pretty well- I think that is because she is mature beyond her age and we did not have to bullshit her about what was going on with her dad so she trusts me to be straight with her. I remember she came to visit me in the hospital after I gave birth to Danny, and her dad moved out cause he was using. (it was one hell of a weekend) and she sat on the edge of my hospital bed and cried a little bit, and whispered, "I'm so mad at him for not being here to help you. I'm sorry mom." She was 10.

I remember once she asked me about her period. What exactly that meant. She had asked her mom and got a clinical-ish explanation that she didn't understand. So she asked me, the 'other mom' and I told her, "You bleed out of your vagina for 5-7 days every month. This goes on until you are about 45-50. It really really sucks." She was pretty happy with that answer. She was 9.

Non drama. Low maintenance, high maturity. It's too bad we have so little in common, cause really- she's the kind of daughter I can handle.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Em eye see kay eee why. Em ooh you ess eee!!!

I forgot yesterday was Half Nekkid Thursday. Sorry to deprive you of my cleavage. On Wednesday- my friend dragged me out and we went to Disneyland. Imagine that. Me- at the happiest place on earth!!



We saw a lot of girls dressed like this. I don't get it. Apparently I am getting old.

It was busy, about as busy as it ever is- and I was grateful to go since my friend bought my ticket for me and I got to take a day off of work and be free from my kids doing something that was fun and I did not feel guilty at all for having kid free fun.

I took some pictures that I think turned out pretty good. I was so excited to have 'something' to take pictures of!!!


It's a Small world, dressed up for Xmas. No matter how many times I have been on it in my life, I love going and seeing the different countries and such and hearing the song. I never really get tired of it.




Me, in front of a big Xmas tree!!! While I am not a huge Disney fanatic, I admit that it was hard to be stressed out about anything when there is so much that makes you smile at that place.


Ferris Wheel at California Adventure. No, I did not ride it. I don't do things that suspend me in mid air. I don't like traditional-type roller coasters and such either. But I still enjoyed a handful of the rides.



It was a really fun day and I'm thinking about getting an annual pass for me and Alex. The second level pass is $169 if you live in So Cal. And it cost $109 just to get in for one day. I think if I had a pass, I'd probably go 5 or 6 times a year, a lot of my friends have a pass too. I live close enough that I could go for just a few hours to watch the parade. I love parades!!

Thanks Chris, what an awesome day!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

How much it sucks to be a teenager

I had a harsh memory today of teenager-hood. I was not very confident when I was younger. Often I still have that problem. It was easier for me to blend with the crowd than it was to go my own way, maybe it's because I didn't know which way was "my way." I find that my teenage son is the same way. He is also very insecure and afraid to stand up for himself. He's a pretty easy target for bullies. And unfortunately a big one happens to be his friend.

Alex, the Teen Beastie ditched a class this week. He was stupid enough to leave the paper that he is supposed to have signed in his pants pocket, and my mom found it when she was doing laundry. I drilled him about it, and then made him call his dad and tell HIM that he had ditched school. I heard him telling his dad that his friend Michael was calling him a pussy and trying to convince him to ditch for over a week. After a week of Michael's teasing and taunting him, he finally caved and ditched school with him. To which he continued to call him a pussy all day regardless. He tried to convince Alex to steal a bike from a homeless guy. Thank God he said no to that.

I feel bad for Alex, cause I know what it's like when your friends are trying to talk you into doing something you don't really want to do. I hated telling my friends, 'no' and I hated it even more when they gave me a bunch of crap for it. I can't remember anything specifically that I felt pressured into doing, but I know there were things. Stupid things that I would do that I didn't WANT to do- but they would convince me that I SHOULD do. My friends were not bullies, they were just stronger than I was- and knew they could talk me into stuff.

He's already grounded for his shitty grades, and he won't get to walk to school or walk home anymore- so his exposure to Michael is limited. I told him that he will have to decide for himself whether or not he wants to continue to be friends with him AT school. I tried to point out that Michael has proven to not be a very good friend to Alex. He is not always nice to him, and some times turns he other guys in the 'group' against him. Fuck, remember that shit?

But I did NOT tell Alex he can't be friends with Michael anymore. At this point, I think its wise to let him decide for himself. My mom, for all her efforts was never able to stop me from being friends with the bad influences. She tried, very hard, and she changed the course of my life by putting me in a new school. I know she meant well, but I really hated her for trying to take away certain choices that are mine to make even if she had insight that I didn't have. I wanted to tell Alex tonight, after hearing more things about his 'friendship' with this kid that he is just a bully jerk who is on his way to more trouble and he was not allowed to talk to him ever again. But I am not foolish enough to think I can do that. Yet. If I have to step in later for drastic measures, maybe I will- but for now I think the best thing to do is tighten the reigns and see if he falls in line.

You know, this parenting thing is always changing. I had somewhat of a tumultuous childhood and many challenges with my mom and I am trying not to make the exact decisions that she did. But I can see why she did it, but I don't know if my mom ever considered what was behind some of my actions. Maybe I never told her, I don't know. Peer pressure, even in it's mildest form, is a very strong force. Wanting to fit in, and wanting to be part of a group. It's a big deal. Maybe I still struggle with fitting in, I understand it. I'm hoping that bit of understanding will help him, and not give him the rope he needs to hang himself.

If he was MY hero...

I've been watching Heroes on Netflix for the last week or so. Every night after the beasties are in bed, I curl into bed with my laptop and watch anywhere from 2 to 5 episodes of Heroes. I have 4 more to go to get through season 1. And then I think we are 4 episodes into season 2.

Ok, I fucken LOVE that show. I am absolutely shocked to find out how everyone is interrelated. Not to mention I fall asleep dreaming about Peter Petrelli, and the guy who plays him on TV. Milo Ventimiglia. He is fuck-me yummyyyy...




My crush is more on Peter than on Milo. Milo is gorgeous and talented, but he's young and probably dates other young, gorgeous and talented people. Peter can absorb the powers from the other heroes and he's gonna save the world or something. He's all super strength, regenerating, flying, and such. Not to mention he's kinda dark and powerful right now. And you know how I love em when they are like that. All I know is that I go to sleep every night dreaming about him and I imagine that he fucks like a superhero. Peter Petrelli, is in general, a sweet guy. A nurse and a family kind of guy. But you know he likes it rough. With powers like that- are you kidding me? All super and powerful. You know, in the good and dirty, pull my hair and make me call you Daddy kind of way. These are what my dreams involve lately. And sometimes he brings his hot politician brother with him.



I'm SOOO down with that. Talk about a dream come true!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Google's love quote of the day.

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."
-Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life. (1977).





ahhh- that's so sweet I could throw up.

TMI Tuesday #109

1. Have you ever met a fellow blogger in person?
You know- I haven't. Which is strange to say. Because I feel like I have. There are a few bloggers I have been talking to, or reading for a while now. Those I feel a friendship with that technically I have never met. Weird.

2. Did you ever play an innocent game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"?
I don't know if it was ever innocent.

3. When did you get your first not so innocent kiss?
I was in 6th grade. Kevin Reisler. I didn't know I was supposed to breathe through my nose. classy, huh??

4. Have you ever awoke with someone who's name you did not remember?
OMG, yes. I was a junior in high school and I was at a party and I passed out, and when I came to I was sleeping next to a guy I had talked to at the party. I didn't know him and I started screaming. His name was Ed- and we ended up dating later. And shorty after graduation we had three straight nights of really hot sex, and I haven't seen him since.

5. Have you ever let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
Of course, that's what taking showers together are for!!

Bonus (as in optional): What makes a great first date for you?
Being comortable. Not trying to force conversation. Being taken to a place that is within my element. Laughing a lot.

TMI Tuesday

Monday, November 12, 2007

Happy Blech-day to me.

36. I'm 36 years old. I celebrated my 36th birthday by having the annual birthday alaskan king crab legs with my dad and sibs who share the birthday week with me. I came home to food poisoning.

Maybe I wasn't poisoned. I didn't FEEL poisoned. One of the girls at work was hospitalized with food poisoning. Granted, around midnight, I thought about going to the ER, because I was sweating and freezing. Vomiting and everything else unpleasant until this afternoon. I have stopped vomiting, but the everything else unpleasant is still in full force. Lovely. I'm still sweating and freezing. I spent most of the day in bed with the air conditioning on, under an electric blanket. So while I don't FEEL poisoned, I still feel really fucken lousy.

I'm going to hope that this birthday is not indicative of the entire year- I don't think my ass can take it. ugh...

Friday, November 09, 2007

See me writing....

So I have decided, with some encouragement from some...um...fans, to put together a collection of my posts from my other blog and publish them. I have gotten feedback from some other self-publishers on a site/company to use and I am in the process. It's weird reading my own stuff in one sitting while I am going through and editing.

It's written in a blogging format. Informal. Strange grammar. Words that sort of hang there. Excessive use of the words throbbing and aching. Using the word "cock" too many times in once sentence. And reading one story after another, grouped together by topic, it seems repetitive. Blowjob after blowjob after blowjob... enough with the blowjobs already!! My thought was to group the tales (two to six pages each) by category so you can flip to the 'sections' you like, even though no story focuses in just one category. But then maybe I should rank them from Vanilla to Violence.

I considered, why would anyone buy it, if they can read it for free. This is a very good point, but I know what people are usually doing, or getting ready to do when they are cruising sex blogs- so maybe it might be easier to do if you have a book. I always prefer it. I mean, the minute I take my laptop to bed with me, the e-husband knows what I'm doing.

I'm excited about it, and even though probably won't make me rich it's still something cool to do to prove I've done something. I just have to think of a pen name although I'm tempted to use my real name. I mean, who gives a fuck, right? I doubt my mother is going to be googling my name anytime soon. And if she does, well, she used to read Jackie Collins. Although my last name doesn't quite roll off the tongue.

Any thoughts??

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

HNT- If I knew then



Here I am, age 6. This girl wanted to be a dancer on Broadway.


(yeah, go ahead- click em)

Fast forward, 30 years later. This woman hasn't taken a dance class in 17 years. She just wants a nap.

If I could go back and change things. I would have kept dancing. I would have gone to law school. I would have gotten braces.

My plan is to start Graduate School the weekend after Graduation. I guess my life will not have been a total waste.

Happy HNT

so much for lunch

I don't usually get all excited about food that I bring for lunch from home. Left overs, ravioli and Lean Cuisine's are usually acceptable enough but unless it's my favorite chicken then I am pretty luke warm about lunch that I bring from home.



On Sunday, I found these at Sam's Club.





SO damn yummy. $8.88 for 5 sandwiches that take about 2 minutes to cook. Dripping with this smoked cheese. It was so good I was licking the drippy cheese from my plate.


Here's where it goes awry.


Delicious Flatbread sandwiches


Julie- 1
ehusband- 4


WHAT THE FUCK!!! I had ONE yesterday for lunch. This morning when I went to get another for lunch today. They were gone. There were 3 yesterday. I took one for lunch and he ate the other two.

Hello ehusband!!! Would it kill ya to remember me on occasion. Perhaps act as if you are not the only person in the house who eats! And you know, you throw up most of your food anyway- why do you have to eat all the GOOD stuff??

Now I know why my mom used to put her name on her stuff!!

Have you seen this movie??



It was on TBS recently, and I happen to own it. I also happen to LOVE it. If you haven't seen it, watch it. It's just a funny and sweet movie and sometimes it's nice when the obvious doesn't happen.

I like Adam Sandler in these romantic comedy roles, even though I'm not a huge fan of his more popular movies like Billy Madison or The Waterboy.

Anyway- I think one of the greatest compliments I ever heard in a movie comes from this movie. Can you guess which one it is??

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It's a Fat World After All

I heard on the radio yesterday that Disneyland is going to be closing down "It's A Small World" so they can dig out a few more inches and change to more bouyant boats?? Why? because we are 25% fatter than we used to be and the boats are bottoming out and getting stuck.

Here's the scenario. The Disney employee ride operator sees that two "hefty" sized persons are getting on the ride in the same boat. He wants to put less people on the boat, to compensate for weight, but there's a lot of people waiting. And they don't want to see a boat that could fit 4 or 5 more people! So they fill the boat and off the go. At certain parts of the ride, probably a corner- the boat hits the bottom- and won't move. Boat comes up behind it- and another, and another. So now there are 2, 3,4...FIVE boats lined up because one boat is stuck?? Why?? Because that boat is resting on the bottom of the pathway because there is too much weight.

A comment in the article I read was also made that the people waiting for the front boat to get moving are also driven crazy by the annoying music!!

So around comes the employee to the first boat. And asks either the two "hefty passengers" or five or six regular sized passengers to please exit the boat and leave through an emergency door. The embarrassment! The horror of it!! Good Lord.

So Disneyland is going to compensate for our fat asses. They will also be doing this with Pirates of the Carribean.

It was either that- or they put scales outside of the ride. You must be have a BMI less than 30 to ride this ride!!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

25 peeps celebrity

So I'm in the 25 peeps Hall of Fame. I'm fucking #5.

Now I have no idea how they can say that considering I think the site was abandoned for a while. But it seems to be back up, and now it's up and running, without me on the top page. That's ok, cause now I can stop looking at that page. I was up for 6 months and now I'm famous.

Rock on.

Friday, November 02, 2007

I am objectionable and not safe for work.

"Some readers of this blog have contacted Google because they believe this blog's content is objectionable."

If you log on to my other blog, this is the warning that Google will give you. My blog is objectionable. Objectionable?? People object?? Well you know you can't go my blog, via typing in the URL and NOT KNOW that it's objectionable. It's obviously objectionable. If "skankycheerleadersluts.com" is not your brand of whiskey, don't type it in- and then get all offended by it. HELLO genius, welcome to the internet. But then I'm curious who is flagging me as objectionable.



Either way, it concerns me that I am being flagged as objectionable. Why don't people like me? Hello, I'm good. I mean, the other blog is good. I'm super fucking proud of it. Besides, what's not to like about me. I'm SO likeable, aren't I??

I've been getting a handful of emails asking about my other blog. Well if you READ adult blogs, then I am sure you've probably seen mine at least once- but most likely more than twice. I am in pretty good circulation lately. Just changing the world, one dirty story at a time. I'm a traffic whore though. Lately I've been picked up by "youporn" so my traffic has been hella crazy this week. Wednesday I had 9000 hits. HOLY PORNO, batman- that's a LOT!! So if you read sex lots of blogs, take a minute and think of who I may be- and you may be right. But I may be crazy.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Half Nekkid Thursday

I didn't take a Halloween themed picture - but I did snap this one earlier this week. No my boobs are NOT lopsided, it's cause one hand is up and... oh forget it. I got nice tits. Take em or leave em. I prefer you take. lol




Happy Half Nekkid Thursday.