No great depression

Yesterday, the e-husband saw me reading Shampoo Planet by the edge of the pool and asked me, "You're still reading that book? What is it about?"

"Well, it's about this guy and...well, fuck- I'm not really sure!"

I read him the inside cover- and told him it's a very Generation X book, you know- about.... um... fuck, I don't know.

Someone help me, I'm half way through it. Is there a plot line that I'm missing? Am I supposed to be acutely aware of his struggles, cause so far- he just seems observant, but not very passionate about anything. Ok, so I see that some mysterious woman is about to enter the picture- so ok, maybe there is something to grasp on to- but I'm half way through, shouldn't I know already?

Maybe I've been too preoccupied to acknowledge my Generation X-edness. Perhaps I'm just somewhat closed off to the ideals that my generation is supposed to care about. Perhaps I am have been too concerned in my adult life with the 12 steps and the Big Book and breast feeding that I never took the time to get a good political point of view or develop a hatred for the government. Maybe I am too self centered to have an emotional opinion on the environment and offshore drilling and stem cell research. Not that I don't have an opinion, or that I don't feel this issues are important, but I have heard friends talking, and having heated debates about these things, causing them to openly abhor those who may oppose their views. I wish that I was that passionate about it so I could at least join in the conversation instead of listen quietly, and nod my head- and more often than I care to admit, ask "what does that mean?"

And if you are one of the few people who have to constantly school me on what the hell you are talking about, I appreciate you never making me feel stupid for not knowing and not being judgmental. It's not that I don't care- but perhaps I am still of the school of thought that in general, society is too selfish to do the things that need to be done to make long term positive changes. Like in the movie Singles, which I did see, once:

People love their cars.

I feel this way about most things- and if you know me, you know that I'm not one to go against the grain and be confrontational. Maybe I am part of the problem, because I don't know what the solutions are. It's not that I don't want to care, I just don't what to care ABOUT!!

Go ahead, kick me out of the generation. It's ok. I probably won't notice.

Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives. ~Chuck Palahniuk

Hey wait, maybe I belong here afterall.....