there's a monkey.
I went to an Angels baseball game today for Kim's birthday party. It was a tailgate party and then we went to the game.
Tailgating is not as dirty as it sounds. It is just food and beverage. Historically there are trucks involved, and you know sitting on the tailgate of the trucks. Eating food and such. Wikipedia says:
Traditionally tailgating involves the consumption of alcoholic beverages such as beer or mixed drinks and the grilling of various meat products.I was thinking maybe it had something to do with buttsex. It SOUNDS like it is supposed to, doesn't it? I asked around, and nobody told me exactly what it WAS- but that most likely there would not be buttsex involved. I called Kim and asked her, just to check. "Tailgating doesn't involve buttsex does it? Cause if so, I have to repack by bag."
She laughed and said she hadn't PLANNED on it, but you never know what might happen...
Well it turns out that with Kim, tailgating involves the consumption of alcoholic beverages, does not involve any kind of sex, OR any kind of meat. Kim's a crazy vegan and so are her friends. I knew this and I had the option of bringing my own meat, but you know- that's weird to show up with one raw hamburger patty. So I figured I would not DIE from a veggie burger. With enough ketchup and mustard, it tastes just like....
ketchup and mustard.
They also had vegenaise. Yeah, ummm... what the fuck is that? It's mayo with no eggs.
Click it, it's fat and salt. really why bother?
I stuck with ketchup and mayo. I HAD the veggie burger- that's enough vegan for one day.
So we went into the game and luckily we were in the shade. I hung out with some of Kims friends and text messaged my own friends and was pretty underwhelmed with the game. For starters there they would try to pump up the crowd by playing songs with clapping and such, like the opening to Car Wash, Centerfield, and We Will Rock You. However they play 20-30 seconds and then they stop. Just when everyone gets into it and people are clapping, it's over ad we all feel stupid. After the first few times, I decided I would not let them fool me again. Audio fuckers.
They did however play ALL of Ice, Ice Baby.
Really? REALLY?
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
And then...
then there was the fucking Rally Monkey. Seriously? A monkey? They would sort of insert this fucking monkey into movie scenes. It was much like this...
The crowd loved it. I suspect the other teams just HATE that damn monkey. I know I do. It scares me. Creepy ass capuchin monkey.
The Angels lost. The monkey haunts me.
And I didn't get any buttsex, but good times were had by all.
Happy Birthday Kimmy. I always have lots of fun with you.
Enjoy your new vibe.
Yeah, you know I give the GOOD gifts!!!
1 comment:
you gave a vibe, but didn't get any butt-sex? Hmmm Sounds like you were definitely on the losing end of this party. I hope the party-favors were enjoyable at least!
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