This time last year

• I was getting ready to leave my job of eight years to start a new job at the hospital.
• I had decided that I wanted to leave my husband and I was going through a lot of guilt about it.

Currently I am finishing my first year at my new job. I really enjoy it, and I think that most days I'm pretty good at what I do. Lately I have found myself a little less motivated- and kind of frustrated at the pace that things happen. Hospitals can be such political places. Not political in the way that people get in the way- or there's a lot of red tape. I mean, there is, but it we seem to be pretty lucky. But the pace, because every change we try to make, takes cooperation on the part of people who's agenda is not ours. They are not on the same timeline. My boss and I also share an office. Our desks are facing each other. And while I love my boss, sometimes it gets a little cramped and I feel that she's looking over my shoulder alot. Then at times, I just feel bored with it. Sometimes it feels monotonous when progress is slow. Change takes time, especially in a such a big place.

Also, the ehusband and I are separated- and getting along better than ever. That's a strange thing. Not living with him, I actually get along with him. I miss him being around, and I enjoy him being here. But I feel like I finally have control of my emotions when it comes to him. I can love and hate him, and have good reason for both. It makes me sad to think of how much time I spent feeling miserable and resenting him. I know things won't always be this pleasant between us. I'm sure if I start dating things will change. The niceties will end pretty quick, I'm sure. I guess I will burn that bridge when I come to it. For now I'm just enjoying my cake. The having as well as the eating.

I'm thinking about my new years resignations... Hopefully they will be part of Fridays post. Sorry I'm boring today. My head is stuffy.