Santa, baby

I think over the years the cynical side of me has ruined Christmas. I started disliking Christmas when I was a teenager, due to some other weird circumstances, but as I entered into adulthood, it became a source or annoyance, irritation and all out stress (not exactly in that order). This year I am trying, really trying to not let it get me down. Try to just enjoy the new direction my life is going and celebrate the season with the kids, despite the fact that things are not perfect. Things are never perfect.
My sibs are asking for my kids' Christmas list. I have never really been a fan of my kids having LISTS of things that they want. It makes me uncomfortable- although I always appreciate an "Amazon wish list" if I need to buy presents for my neices and nephews. I have not had a Christmas list ever that I gave out to people. I can't remember having a list of the things I wanted for Christmas. Ever. Maybe I did- but I can't recall. Certainly not as an adult did I ever have one. Nobody ever asked me for one before.
But I do get 'asked' every year what I want for Christmas. I have been asked again this year. Truly, I have no idea. Gifts for my kids?? That seems the most logical. What do I want for Christmas?? hmmmm. perhaps the Li'l People Airplane, the Harry Potter DVD's, and "Mater" (from Disney's Cars). Yes, those would be nice, and I can white elephant them down to my kids and it will save me both money and time.
One year I asked Christine for crib sheets and baby wipes. Logic tends to override my Holiday Spirit. But here's my gratuitous Christmas wish list, just the same:

• The ability for my eldest brother to fly back and forth to New Hampshire every single day to see his daughters.
• A quick and simple divorce for my older brother
• A fish finder that works for my dad
• A house for my step-sister
• A cure for Autism
• A SILVER SUV for my mom, with the DVD player, MP3 player and GPS system.
• A housekeeper, cook, and driver for my sister and her husband
• The chance to "turn it all around" for the e-husband
• Whatever I can do for Christine, ever.

For myself? Maybe straight hair, a 10 dress size, the ability to wear high heeled shoes again, all my kids living under the roof of a big house that I own, a man who is successfully employed, sane, sober, minimally "baggaged" with no criminal convictions, emotional disorders, physical ailments who is emotionally available and generously 'equipped' (yes THAT).

And if that fails, I have a list of DVD's and books I want on Amazon.